Quote:
Originally Posted by markneil1212
I was first going to post this as a reply to a TBI/PSC thread about relationships but it belongs here more.
my relationship will likely end soon due to me. My complete surrender to the injury along with my INTENSE hatred of the doctor who gave me oxy and bup together thus making a minor head injury major, is dooming me.
I even pay doctors online to tell me what I already know.
The buprenorphine must be started only in people who have not used oxycodone for at least a day or two.
Paid 18 bucks for that info. Info I already knew 1000 times.
I relive it over and over and over and the ensuing suicide attempts and psych ward visits and horrible pain and loss of career, friends, etc. over and over and over and the medical board finding him not guilty over and over and over and that I started this whole thing by drinking with maois over and over and over.
I don't groom, I don't leave the house. I don't watch TV. I just lay here and think about that doctor like Ahab thought about the whale.
From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.
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i concur and understand
life as i knew it was taken
job
my passion cooking
going to the bathroom
holding my head up
unable to stand and walk without aid
driving only when going to doctors
doomed how true
and not being able to shake "it"
is scary
as each morning i make that choice
not today
i'm needed
on so many levels
then my head to hold it up
as best i can
and do the best i can
when reminded everyday
what my doctor did to me
i wish for you
to have that feeling of doom be lifted
that there be one thing in your day that can put a smile on your face
that you be blessed by the touch of our Father
i come and find exactly what i need
a friend who feels like i do
be well
in Jesus name
amen