Good effort indeed!

I am glad that your team got up and that you and DB enjoyed yourselves .

Another $5k today and another 2 hours in the chair for DB. Next appt June 2nd, supposed to be about 90minutes and apparently the last session. I hope so, I am truly proud he has got through this without a lapse. I'm not sure I would have been as strong! His next hurdle is May 28th, my brothers surprise 60th and mothers 85th. A day apart birthdays so a combined surprise celebration organised by my niece. It should be a nice occasion.

That is great about DB!

The combined birthday event sounds pretty cool to me - I hope that all enjoy it .

Pam,

I've been in that "chair" far too often. The work I'm in the process of having is 12k; but I'm not dealing with the issue of sobriety either. This appears to be a "test run" that should hopefully prepare DB for the birthday celebrations. Both of you deserve an enjoyable time without fear of relapse.

Gerry

Well it was a lovely evening, and the family arriving from over East an excellent surprise. Suffice to say DB got through the evening, and then attending the football match the following day but has not fared well mentally since. No lapse, but he is mentally drained and unable to get out of bed. Hopeful tomorrow will be better for him and he can pull himself out and face his hour and a bit long drive journey to and then from work following a 12 hour shift. Called in sick today, seems to be completely shattered, slept virtually 24 hours.

Sorry to hear that, but I guess you know it's not unexpected. As much as it is fun to see relatives and go to the game, it is also mentally draining to go through it sober. Either from fighting the urge or from the fear that it might go wrong (which was always on my mind in the beginning). It also sounds like a depression that isn't totally handled yet, but there are no miracles and it's not easy to find the right medication and counseling. Many people use the word "PAWS" for this (post accute withdrawal syndrome), and while not everybody gets that, many do in those first months. The brain is constantly rewiring, the body is healing, and all that takes a lot of energy and brings you out of balance. The longer you are sober (at first), the more you are confronted with the memories of the recent past, and it's daunting to think about the madness that happened so recently, and the fear of not being able to continue to fight it off. That said, the worst days of PAWS are nothing compared to a day of drinking and all that follows. The good news is that it clears up. It can be quite a journey, but most of us see things clear up after 6 months to a year (it took about 9 months for me to get out of this weird state of confusion, guilt, fear, and fog). It's important that he knows that a) it's absolutely not unusual and b) it won't always be this way. The worst will be over soon, and he's doing a great job.

Pamela, I am glad that the evening went well.

I think that Wide-O is right; I reckon that DB should be very proud of all of his achievements.

Pam,
How are you handling DB's mental issues? I know things have been very draining for you as well. It has to be difficult for both of you.


Gerry

Thank you Wide-O, I didn't know that. It makes so much sense. I'm supporting as much as I can without hovering. He called in sick again today, I think that's a good thing as weird as it sounds, I worry about him driving such a long distance in this state. He has a psych appt tomorrow, she is really good with him and usually within a day of seeing her he regains ground. It is 6 months today since his lapse. We don't count days anymore, he began to find that stressful, like he was counting up to a day in his mind where a miracle would occur...

Hi Wide-O, I shared with DB what you wrote, it seemed to resonate and today he seems much calmer and in sync with his bodies rythem. Yoga for him tomorrow on his RDO, it also seems to help. Has also registered for the mankind project in October, all positive steps moving forward and of course the gym still features almost daily, he looks the fittest I've ever known him to be.

Sadly his sister now has peripheral neuropathy and very bad at that by the sound! The good news is she hasn't had a drink for 5 months, but the PN seems to be getting progressively worse.