Pamela, that is awesome.

It is great that the award night went so well. I reckon that you and DB deserve each other .

Pam,

The final night will be something the two of you will always share and remember. So happy you were able to participate. Being accompanied by your nephews was a real "plus". I think DB is as proud of you as you are of him.

Do you have a program similar to AA in Australia where DB can continue with support for his lifetime commitment?? My daughter, even after almost 20 years, attends meetings on a regular basis. She says this has really helped with her sobriety.

Prayers for a continuing commitment for both of you.


Gerry

Hi Gerry, he has support & they have sessions available to attend if he chooses to and that's been ever since last year. MKP is offering weekly sessions for the next 8 weeks and then it seems there are more, plenty more. He is going tomorrow night. He won't do AA on account of his job. Too many faces there who would recognise him.

I was taken from home at 12.25am in ambulance, of course that shocked DB into wide awake state, the Valium he had taken earlier only lasting 4 hours. He dozed until 5 and then embarked on a full house clean so when I come home from hospital there will be nothing for me to do, very sweet, needless to say he also had Pilates at 7am, retic man at noon, gp at 2 and audiologist at 4 then visit me and from hospital straight to his MKP night session. Home by 10pm and so tired, over tired couldn't sleep. A bevy didn't cross his mind once, how good is that! 311 days sober 449 since a bender. My DB still my hero, love him dearly. Don't fancy having to have emergency ambulance calls to often in the future but wow this one sparked him from a descending funk that filled him with gloom from Saturday to when I left him in the driveway standing early hours of Thursday morning. This journey of ours is binding.

Pam,

You always seem to bring out the positive; even in a scary situation as this emergency.

This was what it took to bring him our of staying in a dark place. DB really is your "hero". On Nov. 5th, 311 days sober; but who's counting???

This shows how important both of you working together has affected his desire to remain sober.




Gerry

The dreaded Black Dog cloud has descended, DB very distressed and is asleep as I type. It's mid-day. We had the retic man round to fix the retic, ticked box, appliance man booked for tomorrow afternoon another ticked box. Even as we get things repaired he seems to be slipping further away. Mentioned last night the urge to drink has been horrendous these last 2 days. His exhaustion I'm sure is connected to the mental battle he is facing. I'm deeply concerned and don't know what to do, he asked me this morning what I thought about joint suicide. I replied it would kill our parents. I've suggested he contact his MKP support but he doesn't seem able to find the will to even make a phone call. Of course I'm not contemplating a joint suicide ever But I admit this last month has tested my own strength. I can only do what I can do and deal with whatever the cards turn up when they do. I wish I was stronger, I wish I was who I used to be.

Pamela, I am sorry to read that DB is struggling at the moment.

I have heard good things about MKP support - I hope that he can reach out to them.

Please remember that you are a strong and brave person - I really admire you.

I think it's humanly impossible to be even stronger Pamela.

I have no practical advice, as you probably know better than I do that his depression somehow needs to be addressed. Hopefully, when he has a clear moment, you can talk him into focusing on getting that treated with all the urgency it deserves, with medication if needed. I always take talk of suicide very seriously. And I do hope you can somehow get some help too, to keep this bearable for you. As strong as you are, this might be a good time to also think about you.

Pam,
Is there any chance of getting in touch with anyone in particular that DB appeared to respect during his weekend rehab/retreat? I believe you were present the closing night.

Physically and emotionally Pam, you need to seek counseling. There is only so much you can handle on your own; even for someone with a strong determined personality. Thank you for sharing with us. Please do continue.

Just a thought; DB was planning to visit his father during the holidays. Do you think DB might consider going for his visit with father now instead of waiting for the holidays? It might get his mind off the present "funk" having something to plan for now....

Praying for both of you....

Gerry

Hi Gerry, his annual leave & flights are all booked. Flying from Aus to Uk. Leaves Dec 16. Seems a little better tonight, I made Beef Lasagna to get some (pasta ) carbs in him, extra cheese for protein & planned steak & veg with extra greens for tomorrow night. I'm thinking he's low on Seratonin, also wondering BP type 2? as it seems to come in cycles, he will be up up and then crashes low. He has booked to see his GP & men's health specialist on the 28th & has blood tests on the 24th.

I've tried to get him to talk to MKP but he won't, he is going Thursday night to his weekly session, hopefully it will help. I'm going to email the lead bloke & give him a heads up incase something happens to upset him further. It seems these weekly sessions are highly emotional. Not that I know much of what happens.