[DMACK]

I’m going to describe to you the lure of suicide, the thoughts that fog the mind and evaporate clear judgement



[In this instance night will be followed by day..&.I will wake.&..Tomorrow will be another day....and I WILL OVERCOME [I hope] these awful feelings.



Some people are happy to be lead....I am not one of those people....[My mum told me at a very young age ..’Be a shepherd & not a sheep’

Equally I do not profess to be a leader, ...........I literally just have a VIEW/OPINION

When people try to tell me things are black when it’s obviously white, I get annoyed, ................when they tell me things are not black or white but are shades of grey, I get frustrated by their indecision,
I become totally irrational when they say there are no grey areas its simply this way or that way...[contradiction in terms] AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

When working in a role where advice is crucial,

Those that pay my living, and also set my working parameters, & continue to deliver contradiction. [‘behave badly’, ‘we will reward and or excuse you’ ...’and give you more chances compared to those who try to NOT break rules or regulations’ etc.........]

So where does that leave me?................................ANGRY, CONFUSED , UNDERMINED, BELITTLED, ISSOLATED.......


I care...[ I really do,,,,,,,,,,,,,] but at times I don’t . [I’m human]

The times I care less are when people... who are paid a great deal more than me pontificate to me, that I’m not doing enough, or not towing the corporate line [message] or not going the extra mile [to tick a box, or meet a % target etc..]

Do I therefore have to relinquish my thoughts mind and soul, to my employer because he pays my wages.....?

RAT-TRAP = SPRINGS TO MIND


Is this what blights so many people into..............’Where/who do I turn to?

Life is a one off event...............it will never happen again....
this is not a dress-rehearsal.

Therefore should we as individuals go through life.....either at work or in our home?

Muted by others, gagged by ritual, and restrained of our independent views by those who either lead us or pay us?

My answer is no...........................but it is a lonely path to follow..

i then go back to the feelings we are left with when we ‘feel out-on-a limb’


ANGRY, CONFUSED , UNDERMINED, BELITTLED, ISSOLATED.......

And then people wonder why people contemplate suicide,

Tomorrows another day [I hear the cry]

David

[Alffe]

(((David))) Your post reminded me of this poem..

Don't Expect Applause
And yet, wouldn't it be welcome
at the end of each ordinary day?
The audience could be small,
the theater modest. folding chairs
in a church basement would do.
Just a short earnest burst of applause
that you got up that morning
and, one way or another,
made it through the day.

You soaped up in the steaming
shower, drank your Starbucks
in the car, and let the guy with the
Windex wipe your windshield
during the long red light at Broad Street.
Or maybe you were that guy,
not daring to light up
while you stood there because
everyone's so down on smoke these days.

Or you kissed your wife
as she hurried out the door, even though
you were pretty sure she was
meeting her lover at the Flamingo Motel,
even though you wanted to grab her
by a hank of her sleek hair.

Maybe your son's in jail.
Your daughter's stopped eating.
And your husband's still dead
this morning, just like he was
yesterday and the day before that.
And yet you put on your shoes
and take a walk, and when a neighbor
says Good moring, you say
Good morning back.

Would a round of applause be amiss?
Even if you weren't good.
If you yelled at your kid,
poisoned the ants, drank too much
and said that really stupid thing
you promised yourself you wouldn't say.
Even if you don't deserve it.

****************

by Ellen Bass The Human Line
__________________


Would a round of applause be so amiss.....can you hear me clapping?

[DMACK]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvyZnOukZLg

When Alffe replied......i was watching the above [forgive me ...when i feel at my lowest i watch this film.....my dad fought in WW11 he was in one of the first regiments into Belsen Concentration camp, [ British Army medical corps...Mortuary division] I watch it to cry..... for him [his death] And also the atrocity he witnessed, and above all the resolve of human beings who escaped death[ I'm an Irish Catholic before anyone thinks this is a Jewish thing]

I despair at human acts ....so much it makes me physically sick...........


from the film .....and Hebrew scripts.......i truly believe this

'whoever saves one life saves the world entire'


David

Alffe thank you so much for the poem,,,,,,,,,,,,the tears are still streaming ...so moving... [and meaningful] x

[Alffe]

David, Mr.Alffe said to tell you that I am really really ticked off that I am incapable of "joining" UTube...therefore I am unable to view that link..and according to said Mr.Alffe I am muttering at my perch and cursing under my breath... and he added "You're too old to join UTube"!

I remember the movie, Schindlers List...and I remember sobbing.

[Wren]

Ditto what Alffe said -- I can't join UTube. I tried and tried and .....

[Doody]

(((David))) I so completely understand.

[Doody]

I'm wondering how you are doing ((David)). I thought of you at work today. In the past month or so I've been battling really bad depression. I'm sure my situation at work contributes to that, but oh...I hate this stuff. I hope you are doing better. ((hugs))

[Alffe]

I FINALLY was able to join UTube and watched this David. Starting the day in tears here but I so agree about "whoever saves one life....

[Koala77]

Originally Posted by Wren

Ditto what Alffe said -- I can't join UTube. I tried and tried and .....

Me neither!

This is the second video I've encountered today that I'm unable to view without being a member. I've tried over and over to join but it will not accept my details.

I'll have another try tomorrow incase there's a glitch at the moment, but I'm fairly certain it isn't me!