[befuddled2]

Hi all,

I am planning on inviting a guy to dinner that I once went steady with at 14 and haven't seen since. My clothes make me look all wrong and I'm not up on how to how to dress with the size I am now. Most of my weight is in my gut, no butt, skinny legs. I want to buy an outfit to wear with all that in mind that will be casual. I've heard a vest is good for the bigger woman. But with my excessive big gut I'm wondering if that still works. Also, what type of clothes design should I get to take away the emphasis on my big gut. Like perhaps stripes or circles or what? I'd like to go shopping this weekend if I can.

I'm a nervous wreck too because I really like this guy and even though I'm scared of rejection, it would be nice to kind of feel him out to see how he feels. We've been talking off and on since last Spring. I'm thinking we both are giving one another mixed signals but I could be wrong. He may or may not be interested and I'm kind of scared to find out. My husband whom I've been separated from for almost a year use to really put me down so my self esteem is low. HELP me my friends!

befuddled2

[Fancylady_2006]

If it were me I'd wear slacks. They could have small pin stripes running up & down. Don't get circles. i think you could wear a vest, if you wanted to. I have never had your problem, meaning skinny legs & no butt. I am big all over as bad as I hate to admit it. Are you heavy or just have a big gut? A elestic underpanties could help with the gut problem. I have to wear a brace or binder and it does the same thing.

Whatever your confortable with will be just fine. Relax, the worse thing that could happen is that you part as friends. have a good time talking about memories and people. Keep ex----- out of the conversation. Good luck and enjoy yourself.
Hugs,
BC

[bizi]

See if you can find some accessories for jewerly, some times you can find stuff at the good will..lots of treasures in ours.
I like what billie said about a pin stripe slacks...that sounds good.
Is it cold there?
are you hot or cold by nature?
that will play a part....
a jacket would go well with some slacks, like a casual suit.
do you carry a purse?
spanx cut off hose under a dress is "in style" these days if you are looking for trendy.
I like 3/4 sleeves myself or a turtle neck under a sweater....just depends...dress for what you like...not for him!....you have to relearn all of this....
have fun shopping for yourself...talk with the sales associates and have some fun!
keep us posted!
bizi

[watsonsh]

Hi Befuddled,

A couple thoughts since I just came from shopping...hubby would say I am always coming from shopping somewhere.

Billie is right wear something comfortable first off.

I also think Billie is right with suggesting pants. Black is always slimming and then maybe a top with some color in it since it will be close to your face and it always brighten's people up. Do you notice when you wear a specific color that people compliment you. Pick that color for the top.

keep the pant simple and absolutely no pleats in the waitband of the pants. I too have a gut. Flat fron pants will likely be the most flattering. ANd if not flat front try for side zip and again with no waistband. These types of pants minimize the gut. Take it from me I know.

Wear a simple pair of boots with the pants, maybe a small heel to elongate you.

You did not mention your chest. Are you generous in that dept? I am and a good bra is essential. If you are generous, try to get a minimizer, it will still show off your bust but will make you look narrower. But do not be afraid to to show off your assets, just package em well.

I went shopping for t-shirts today. yep t-shirts. I was tired of dressing in baggy clothing to hide myself. I wanted to wear those t-shirts that everyone is wearing that they layer on top of each other. I was lucky in that I went to a store that a frined of a friend runs and she spent and two hours helping me get the right combos. I did not think I could do it but they looked good. But what she said to me was true. the baggier the clothes the bigger I looked but when she put the right clothes on that flattered my shpe I could do it.

My advice on the vest is no. I do not know if you are tall or short but the thing about a vest is that it will call attention to that are you want to avoid because it hits right at that area. Think about it in such a way that it will cut you in half at the waist by drawing a line around that area. It will make you look short waisted.

How about a nice sweater, a little longer in length that will hit at the hips. This will also elongate you. and dress it up with a long necklace that you maybe can double up. Or put a nice small pin on the upper right or left side of the sweater to draw his attention to your face at all times. The eyes will naturally go up there.

I hope that helps and no worries if you don't like my suggestions.

I truly hope it all goes great!

[watsonsh]

Bizi is so right...spanx are awesome,,,under everything...they suck it in.

And I just reread Billie's post and she is right. Talk about memories and laugh and have a good time and do not talk about ex.

Oh and one last thing...on the top front...I bought a top today that was fitted around the chest but then was kind of flowy at the bottom. Hid everything down there. Also grey pants just as slimming as black, esp charcola grey, gives good texture.

Can anyone tell I like to shop?

[Mari]

Hi, Befuddled,
Chocolate brown is a good slimming color that the stores have now.
Depending on your hair and other coloring, it can be flattering.

I tend to look better if my top and bottom pieces are the same color.

I stay away from vests.

A color that looks good on nearly everybody: aqua.

Guys sometimes like earings with a little bit of movement in them -- dangling for example. Also, if you want to push the limits you could get a top with some texture -- like raised patterns, or small cut outs,


The most important thing is to find something that makes you feel good and that is flattering on you. Get help from people at the store.


Have fun.
Mari

[befuddled2]

Thank you all. I did order myself a pair of jeans but they have a zipper in front I think. I'm going back to that website and look for something flat in front of jeans. I did order a jacket, a black one that I think will demphasize my big torso.

I have decided not to invite my friend over for dinner after all. After sleeping on it last night I have decided to work on developing our friendship and see if he asks me out eventually. I also have other things I need to put my attention on for the time being and I don't need to stay all stary eyed if something developed.

Now I can't wait to try to get a different pair of pants to go with my jacket.

befuddled2