[ConcussedinPA]

It's been a year since my injury or the start of this new life. I am finding the new me and trying to let the old life go. I was a very high acheiver with the letters behind my name/great job/world traveler/etc. Now I am on long term disability, cannot practice my profession, had to abandon my hobbies, and rarely leave the house. I am attempting to regroup and live with the new reality.

I wish I had found this forum sooner. I now know I am not alone. Thanks to everyone for the excellent posts -- at least those I could read.

Reading is very difficult for me. I would appreciate any techniques that people find helpful. I do look for short paragraphs. I also only read a few pages at a time or I pay the price.

I am living one at a time. Thankfully I just started rehab for this MTBI. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

[BeccaP]

I'm glad you found this forum, it has been so helpful for me as well to have people understand. I'm sorry for all your suffering. It is really hard to live with. I'm a little past the one year mark also. Over time I've been able to handle reading better. For a long time I couldn't handle anything with much complexity, just simple sentence structure, that has improved over time. Tracking was really hard but that's improved as well. I don't know if I'll ever be "back to normal" I've just learned to be patient and not overtax myself, if it's too hard I just stop. I hope your rehab is helpful. Best wishes!

[Mark in Idaho]

PA,

Welcome to NT. Sorry for your reason for being here but this is the right place.

I find it helps if I am very critical of what I read. If I see a overly descriptive writing style with too many adjectives and adverbs, I know the risk is high.

I also will take a long posting and copy it into MSWord and reformat it into shorter paragraphs and larger font size. This may sound extreme but I consider it and exercise as much as an opportunity to read the post/article. It takes time but that I what I have lots of.

I have recently taken on some challenges to exercise my mind. It is way outside my expertise and experience, but I am slowly learning and succeeding.

I have always liked fixing things with my hands. So, I just finished rebuilding an automatic transmission. It has taken a while at I waited for parts but the waiting has taught me better patience skills. I used to get obsessed with finishing a task. Now, I can hit a wall and totally let go of the task.

When I surrender to the obstacle and relax my mind, I can become a very creative problem solver. If I just try to push through, I crash miserably.

I think an important task to master as you build a new life is communication. Learning how to express your needs or struggles so someone can assist you is paramount. We need to be introspective and then transparent. We can break down or struggles into very simple components.

My wife just started her first full time job in over thirty years. I need to pick up some of the household tasks so I asked her to label things so I can do these tasks. Things like a big 1/2 cup label on the laundry detergent.

We use a white board on the refrigerator very successfully. Simple reminders work great. I use it to remind myself of finishing a task. My wife uses abbreviations for her reminders to herself. I need to use complete description. Not just 'load dishwasher' but also 'Turn It On.' It is easy for me to get distracted and not finish the most important part of a task.

Do you find yourself just staring at a room wondering what you wanted to do. Allowing ourselves to get spaced out is OK. I can completely lose track of what and where I am during the day. I can walk into the kitchen thinking I should have lunch. I can put something in the microwave, then completely forget it. I will even not notice the reminder beeping.

But, that's OK. Life goes on and is too short to get hung up on the foibles.

have you found a local brain injury support group? Most are oriented toward the seriously brain injured but welcome anybody with neurological injuries and related struggles.

Well, my mind is struggling this morning. Time to find something else to focus on. Maybe a nap.

My best to you.

[ConcussedinPA]

Mark,

Thank you for the reading tips and other tips. It is nice to not be alone -- although I feel for everyone with this injury.

Just as you stated, pushing through is no longer a great technique. It used to be my motto. Now trying to push through brings only pain and headaches.

Communication is very hard. I feel locked inside my brain and cannot adequately express myself to my family and friends let alone my doctors. This is an area I would great appreciate any tips or techniques.

I still leave things in the microwave. I gave up on regular cooking as I burnt so many pots and pans. I was afraid that I would burn the house down. Takeout and delivery are my best friends.

I have lost count of the number of times that I am sure that I have run the laundry or dishwasher without detergant. Hint: you can tell when the dishes aren't really clean My technique is to put yellow post-its on things with remainders, checklists -- i.e. load dishes, put in detergent, turn on.

Yesterday I struggled. Today is a good day. I take it one day at a time and hope to have more good days.

[Mark in Idaho]

PA,

I have a system I use with the stove. I always us a timer. I set it for 5 minutes or so. Nothing gets burned in just 5 minutes. I reset it each time I return to the stove. I wish I could set it like a snooze alarm that goes of every five minutes when the stove is on.

Communication can be rough. Dr Johnson's TBI Guide can help if you can get others to read the pertinent parts. They need to cooperate in communication. You also need to be assertive.

My wife may start telling me something with lots of details. I just say, "You lost me with too many details." If it is not important, like her relating her day at work, I just try to listen and not overload so she can 'unload the events of her day.' I get the gist of her day and that is good enough.

Dr Johnson's Guide is at http://www.drakecenter.com/file.axd?...vivalGuide.pdf for download and print out. You can read individual chapters at www.tbiguide.com but you will need to copy and paste into Word or such to print a good copy. If you can, send him a few dollars to help him with web costs. He is a great help to the TBI and mTBI community.

Especially important are the parts about communication, word finding, auditory overload, etc. The 'ah ha' moments will be important. As they start to see you in the symptoms described, you will have won half the battle. As you see yourself, it will help you know you are not going crazy.

If you are married, you need to explain to him that you are not asking for fixes, just some compassionate accommodations. We men like to fix things. It is harder for us to just listen. Nothing is 'just do this' for a PCS subject.

Loud or direct speech can be very counter-productive as it stimulates adrenaline that cause the PCS brain to go into a defensive and protective mode.

Find some way to get out of the house. Go for a walk. Find a neighbor who has a dog to walk. Be creative. The exercise will help plus your perspective of your neighborhood will be a bit different at a slower pace.

Regarding detergent in dishwasher, etc., You may need to relocate some items into more visible or appropriate locations for a memory struggling person. The out of sight becomes out of mind with PCS.

More later.

My best to you.

[ConcussedinPA]

Thanks again for the great tips. I'm now using the timer technique -- setting for every 5 minutes. I have attention issues. I feel like the dog from "UP"

I downloaded the GUIDE and will send a card/cash to the good doctor. Thanks for passing this great resource to all of us newbies.

This week had its ups and downs. I am making little steps toward finding the new me in this new life. Next week will be the big week. I am leaving my quiet world. I am flying home to see my parents. I have not flown since the accident; I have not done any travelling for the last year. Thankfully, I have a direct flight (only 2.5 hours) and have an up-grade. Any tips on air travel?

A great weekend to everyone!

[Westwood]

PA, May i ask where your having troubles in your New life ?

I had a Iq that ranked Genious... Until 1997 i got shot in the head but my Iq was still over 300.

well at that time i could not spell, math was bad and so was every thing.
No memory short or long term.
but when asked to do tests i gladly tried my best : Over achiever i have always been"

here are soem things that helped me get back to par or Close to it .

Yahtzy for Math
word games for spelling.
I got a pet sheltie i wish i still had now but he knew when i was going to have a siezure and saved me many times.

online chats like this one with friends who knew i had problems who would correct my spelling and tell me ways to try and get batter,
they would Type the words i had wrong in Caps on the return email.
Sometimes i was livid but now i know the love they gave me and it made me so mad i tried harder.
I like a good challenge but that was not one i was prepaired for,
now i need to relearn to walk in just 2 months i tore up 2 pairs of shoes .
When it gets hard remember your Goal.
do you like animals ?
do you like to garden ?
if remembering is a problem try gardening a small plant by the window
a mix lettuce pachage of seeds start that and then when you see it .
it will say hey water me and or have a salad ,
My biggest one is eating i sometimes go a day or 2 and forget i have not eaten,
but mostly its Work.. I'll bet the hardest job you have ever faced . It is and was for me .
Im here for all of you I feel like i can say whats really on my mind and be honest and truthful and if i can help Please Let me know .
Tammy

[Mark in Idaho]

Interesting IQ score. Nobody on record has every scored above 228. The rare person who has an IQ above 200 makes headlines.

A genius IQ is anything over 140. Less that 0.25% have IQ's above 140. There have been ratio-IQ's higher than 300 but these are limited to toddlers who perform years ahead of their age level. The closer one gets to adulthood, the less likely of having an IQ even close to 140.

I was having a discussion with an acquaintance about living with mental dysfunctions. He struggled to accept his failings and asked how i dealt with mine.

My point was that after 40 years of experience with a declining brain, I have learned that most of the things in life that we fret about because we failed to accomplish the specific task are of little consequence even a few days to weeks later.

My first example was having my watch break. It did little to change my day. I still got just as much work done. I was just not all wound up all day.

My high achievements of the past did not require the overly stressful vigilance to accomplish them. Stressing out only prevented me from seeing or observing the many more important things in life.

Try driving across a busy city. You will make better time by route selection that by any hurried driving.

There is a proverbial question. How does one learn good judgment? Simple, from the experience of bad judgment. Unfortunately, many are quick to act like fools. A fool is someone who continues to do the same thing expecting a different result.

We should choose how to frame our lives then choose to live them within that framework. Unfortunately, we are bombarded by Madison Avenue psychobabble about deserving more, deserving the best, etc.

There is a saying. He who dies with the most toys wins. In reality, he who dies with the most toys still dies and likely gave up his living to acquire all the toys.

The better saying is: Being of sound mind and judgment, I spent it all (living.)

Enjoy the small victories and pleasures. They are just a good as big victories and accomplishments. Claim your right to live a simpler live. Enjoy more and complain less.

I finally got my transmission back together and working right. The second try was much better than the first. I feel far more accomplished after correcting my prior unexplainable errors. It does not work perfectly but that is OK.

I was able to drive 15 miles across town to help a severe TBI friend. Often, I will just spend a minute or two fixing his computer problems after a 30 to 45 minute drive. It is still worth it. Then we just kill time trying to understand each other. His mind has different dysfunctions than mine. He is a True Master at backgammon but struggles to use a computer or understand a utility bill.

So, go find something simple to enjoy.

My best to you.

[Dmom3005]

Okay perfect example of not reading and wanting to say something
and not writing it down.

Many had issues I wanted to talk about. No memory what it was.

To hard to go back and start over.

So I'll wait till it retursn.

Donna

[eponagirl]

Concussed in PA, curious how your flight experience went? Did you notice any changes in your PCS related to the flight?