[Chaddiwicker]

I initially applied for SSDI nearly 3 years ago. My main disabling conditions are major depressive disorder, severe, recurrent w/ psychotic features and social phobia. I also have sleep apnea, obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes and foot/ankle pain when walking or standing for long periods of time. I was initially denied and appealed. I was also denied after a hearing.

I started out with a very supportive therapist. She is the one who encouraged me to apply. She also helped me get Medicaid disability when I lived in Indiana. She eventually moved on to another position so I had to get a different therapist who was supportive, but not quite as much so. I received psychiatric meds, but usually by nurse practitioners and there was often much turnover.

Earlier this year, I moved to Oregon. The only friends I have left were moving there and asked me to move with them. My therapist and my mom encouraged me to move so that I would have some support. They are letting me live with them free of rent in exchange for pet sitting and light household chores. I had to get a new therapist and a new lawyer.

My lawyer is currently working to try to get me another hearing. She called me a week ago and, after talking to my new therapist, suggested I find someone else. She said the therapist refused to give her opinion about my ability to work. The therapist said she believes it is unethical for her to do so. The lawyer also said that she had "one good report" by one of my therapists but that the rest of the reports were less helpful.

I'm calling around tomorrow to try to find a new therapist. I'm currently taking an experimental anti-depressant that hasn't been working well. When I started I didn't have insurance so the experimental program was free and even pays me which is why I signed up. The lawyer said the PhD at the study is being somewhat helpful, but she wasn't real reassuring about it. I have since been approved for the state's standard medicaid program and am awaiting to hear about my disability medicaid application.

I only leave my apartment for doctor and therapy appointments, to get groceries and to walk the dogs. I interact minimally with the roommates I live with and with my mom by phone every couple of weeks but have no other social interaction (and don't want any). I often have suicidal thoughts, feel hopeless and worthless. I have insomnia and a lack of interest in almost anything. I spend most of my days in my bedroom. I have been hospitalized twice in the past for suicidal ideation and a suicide attempt. I get food stamps for the moment but I think there is a work requirement. My friends have said they don't think they can help with food and I can't bring myself to ask my mom for help in that department as our relationship is tenuous.

I'm scared about looking for a new therapist and scared that they won't be supportive of my disability case. With the exception of my first therapist, people often get weird about social security disability. I'm scared about looking like I'm "shopping" for a supportive therapist and scared that a new therapist won't be supportive.

I don't know what I'll do if I don't get approved and I'm struggling just to stay around to get to the next step.

Anybody from the Portland, Oregon area have any leads on supportive therapists/agencies that take medicaid?

[Cblue]

I am not from Oregon, but I want to say that I feel for you and your situation. I am on SSDI for Bipolar disorder, OCD, borderline personality disorder, social anxiety disorder...and some other thing....I know how scared you feel as I was in the same boat. It sounds to me like you should have been approved. I am not an expert, but there are some people on here that really know their stuff and have been very helpful with all kinds of information. I think I know what you mean as far as shopping for a therapist ...I wanted someone who would believe that I have real problems and I wanted real help. I was lucky to find someone I really liked. I saw her for a year or so and she left her practice to become a teacher. I see another one now and I like her too. I have only gone to her twice, but she seems to be nice and she is helpful.
Don't settle for a therapist that you don't think will believe you...you may have to shop around.
Do you have a psychiatrist?
I am sorry I have no advise...I hope everything works out for you!!!!! Prayers to you!

[Chaddiwicker]

Originally Posted by Cblue

Do you have a psychiatrist?

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

I see a PhD Clinical Psychologist for the anti-depressant study. I saw a nurse practitioner at the same agency that I was seeing this last therapist, but just found out she was moved to a different location so I wouldn't be seeing her anymore if I stay at this agency. I'm leaning towards going to a new agency altogether.

[Jomar]

Your lawyer doesn't have any suggestions of who might be good to go to??

[Chaddiwicker]

Originally Posted by Jo*mar

Your lawyer doesn't have any suggestions of who might be good to go to??

I sent her an e-mail asking just that, but I haven't heard back from her yet. With the holiday last week, I imagine she had a short week. Hopefully I'll hear back from her soon.

[legalmania]

Hi Chaddiwicker, I have a few questions if you don't mind. Have you been able to work at all during your life? Does your attorney have all the hospitals you have been admitted to and doctors you have seen ? Were you turned down for a reconsideration or by the appeals council? If you answer me back I may be able to answer your question better. From what I have read your case does not sound hopeless, your attorney may not be the right person for your case.
In the mean time there is a great thread on this site for people like you who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, please go there for support, they are all really great people and help a lot. Alfie is one of the posters and is really helpful. Please get back to me. Be strong and never give up. What may look hopeless today may be triumph tomorrow.

[Chaddiwicker]

Originally Posted by legalmania

Hi Chaddiwicker, I have a few questions if you don't mind. Have you been able to work at all during your life? Does your attorney have all the hospitals you have been admitted to and doctors you have seen ? Were you turned down for a reconsideration or by the appeals council? If you answer me back I may be able to answer your question better. From what I have read your case does not sound hopeless, your attorney may not be the right person for your case.
In the mean time there is a great thread on this site for people like you who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, please go there for support, they are all really great people and help a lot. Alfie is one of the posters and is really helpful. Please get back to me. Be strong and never give up. What may look hopeless today may be triumph tomorrow.

Thank you for your response.

I have worked, though I have struggled with depression since a teenager and have often quit jobs when I got depressed by just stopping going to work (not being able to get out of bed or anxiety of facing the world). I have had over 40 different jobs. I was also unable to complete college due to struggles with depression.

The attorney does have all the information I can remember. I don't have a lot of information from when I was younger because I or my family cannot remember who I saw for treatment. My records are mostly up to date since about 2004/2005. I recently looked at the "evidence" sheet and remembered that I had been approved for a program that I hadn't previously thought of and have requested information from them.

I'm not sure how exactly to answer you question about the appeals council. I was denied once by an ALJ after a hearing. My lawyer is trying to get me a second hearing with the appeals council. If I am denied a second hearing, my understanding is that my last resort is the Federal Appeals Court.

One slightly positive sign, if it is true... I read that appeals are often given when recordings of the hearings are partially inaudible. My lawyer told me that I was audible in the recordings for my hearing but the ALJ and others were not.

I discovered, today, that I cannot switch agencies for mental health without approval as my lawyer suggested. They want me to try a different therapist or file a formal complaint. I don't feel my therapist and I are a match but I don't think she deserves to get in trouble because we don't "mesh".

Stressed out about the new therapist stuff today. Scared that even talking about my stress about disability makes me look "bad".

[legalmania]

Originally Posted by Chaddiwicker

Thank you for your response.

I have worked, though I have struggled with depression since a teenager and have often quit jobs when I got depressed by just stopping going to work (not being able to get out of bed or anxiety of facing the world). I have had over 40 different jobs. I was also unable to complete college due to struggles with depression.

The attorney does have all the information I can remember. I don't have a lot of information from when I was younger because I or my family cannot remember who I saw for treatment. My records are mostly up to date since about 2004/2005. I recently looked at the "evidence" sheet and remembered that I had been approved for a program that I hadn't previously thought of and have requested information from them.

I'm not sure how exactly to answer you question about the appeals council. I was denied once by an ALJ after a hearing. My lawyer is trying to get me a second hearing with the appeals council. If I am denied a second hearing, my understanding is that my last resort is the Federal Appeals Court.

One slightly positive sign, if it is true... I read that appeals are often given when recordings of the hearings are partially inaudible. My lawyer told me that I was audible in the recordings for my hearing but the ALJ and others were not.

I discovered, today, that I cannot switch agencies for mental health without approval as my lawyer suggested. They want me to try a different therapist or file a formal complaint. I don't feel my therapist and I are a match but I don't think she deserves to get in trouble because we don't "mesh".

Stressed out about the new therapist stuff today. Scared that even talking about my stress about disability makes me look "bad".

The reason I asked about your work is that they look into how many work credit hours you have and according to your age sometimes they turn you down because you don't have enough credits. Here is a link into why you medically may have been turned down.http://socialsecurity.gov/disability/step4and5.htm#Q4_1.

If your were turned down by an ALJ then the next step would be the Appeals Council, I don't know if they will give you an appeal at the Appeal Council but, at the Federal level your attorney can subpoena your therapist and other experts and you can testify to your condition. Which should have happened at the ALJ hearing. The Appeals Council has you or your attorney file forms or a brief and they review it and the AC either decides your fate. or sends it back to the ALJ, this takes up to 15 months. The Federal level is both timely and expensive for an attorney and that may be why she is hesitant.

It sounds like you have suffered a long time with this depression, I don't know what happened to you but, I'm really sorry it has been such a long struggle for you. I have helped many people file for disability and have even done a couple of appeals(nightmare) and to me it sounds as if you should be getting benefits especially because they have you on medicaid. Have you called medicaid and asked them for help getting someone who can give you the proper mental help? I understand it's stressful when you have mental problems to start all over with having to trust someone new. I wish good luck to you and please visit the thread on this site that deals with people that have struggled with suicide, you will find you are not alone and a lot of people do care.

[Chaddiwicker]

Originally Posted by legalmania

The Appeals Council has you or your attorney file forms or a brief and they review it and the AC either decides your fate. or sends it back to the ALJ, this takes up to 15 months.

Just to clarify... are you saying it takes the appeals council 15 months to review the brief my attorney files or are you saying it would take 15 months if my case gets sent back to an ALJ?

Thank you for all the information you have supplied and, specially, for the supportive words.

[finz]

CW,

I understand that you feel uncomfortable filing a formal complaint because you don't mesh with your current therapist, but if that is the only way to change therapists, I think it's something you MUST do. Having adequate medical documentation of total disability is essential for approval for SSDI or SSI. I would write that in your complaint......that the financial worry that you are experiencing is exacerbating your issues. If a therapist feels that you can work, preparing you to do that should be a large focus of your treatment plan. If they feel that you cannot work, that documentation is critical for your long term well being. I would think a good therapist should understand that.

I understand that most therapists are reluctant to share the specifics of a treatment session. They do that to protect your privacy. One would think the center you use would have a medical director whom you could see for consult who could prepare the needed documentaion.......not necessarily revealing the specifics of each session, but evaluating your ability to engage in substantial gainful employment.