[lmb3]

This is very OT, but my oldest daughter, 13, left this morning for her class trip to Washington D.C. I cried when she left, but am feeling much better now. However, I can't stop thinking about her safety. She is very naive and now I am wondering if it was the best thing to let her go. I know - 'the experience will do her good' and 'stop worrying - she'll be fine'. ugghh

She is only going to be gone for 5 days - what am I going to do when she leaves for college in 4 years???

Signed - Sad, Worried Mommy

[jccgf]

Oh, I know . It is hard. But, it is MUCH easier when they are older, and everyone is ready for them to fly the nest. I still miss my babies, though... two have flown. My son, I hear from every few weeks... not a talk on the phone kind of guy. My daughter... she often calls me a couple times a day! .

I am happy to still have one at home for another eight years .

Has she ever been to DC???? I think it is a super place for kids to go. She'll love it! Does she or a friend have a cell phone? That always help to get a phone call or two .


Cara

[loisba]

Speaking as a 60 year old grannie, with 3 grown and married children, and 7 grandkids, it does get better. I can remember how relieved dh and I were when the last of ours married and moved out. Unfortunately, they keep coming back home! Both of my girls had to move back in for short periods, and one of them now has a home right next door. I really appreciate having her so close, now that I've gotten older and more decrepit, but it's always a relief at the end of the day when everyone goes home, and I have my solitude again!
Hugs,

[lmb3]

Thanks for the kind words ladies. She called in last night at 10:30. No, she's never been there before and she sounded like she was having a good time already. They got in at 3:30, went to dinner, a cruise on the potomac and a night tour of some of the memorials. It was good to hear her voice. I am much more relaxed today than I was yesterday. I am thinking that I just needed to hear her to make sure she was okay.

I am banking on your words of saying that it gets easier!

[crytears]

OK...I wanna play devils advocate....for me it hasn't gotten easier!
I used to whine, sob, cry when my son left for a few days away from me.
Now he's in his mid 30's and now have my grand daughter....I can't stand being away more than a few days away from her.
Her family was torn asunder when her mommy took off with another guy, leaving this baby shattered to bits.
I stepped in to pick up the peices....but she loves her mommy despite all she's done. My son was broken as well...but is not total innocent.
Now whenever she goes to her moms every other weekend....from the moment she leaves to the moment she's returned....I'm so uneasy and worry myself sick.
I worry when my son travels the freeways, goes scuba diving or goes away on vacation...I always have these "what if" tapes playing.
But I worry about leaving my cats alone for the weekend....its just part of my past fears of abandonment issues.
I am only robbing myself as this worry does nothing to help what ever scenario may play out as it never does.
Here's something that happened to me last summer....we took our grandaughter, Madi along with us for a months long road trip.
We visited my home town and showed her places I'd gone to as a teen. It was an old mining town with a rattlesnake under every rock!
As we walked the paths I insisted Madi stay close to us, warned not to wander for fear of these rattle snakes.
We spent several hours having fun investigating the hills and as we rounded the end of the path our truck was now only 10 feet away.

Madi ran ahead wanting to get a drink....as she did she ran right past a rattlesnake! Her foot came within inches from stepping on it....she had to step right over it to keep from stepping on it!
She didn't see it till it slid past her foot...then she screamed, jumping straight up in the air!
Here I'd spent the entire afternoon holding her back...not allowing her an inch of freedom....then when finally let go, feeling home safe....right there within inches of her was the feared rattler!
Just goes to show that no matter how we try to protect and keep out of harms way.....something out of nowhere crosses our paths!
We just have to let go....we have no way of knowing what our path holds before us.
Before you know it...your daughter will be safe at home and will have loads of interesting stories to share with you!
Blessings, cheryl
I wonder how many rattlers watched us pan for gold at this cool stream side?
More than I'd ever want to know!
Malakoff Diggins Calif Panning for Gold w/ grumpa The ugly rattler!

[Electra]

I'm not far from DC.
My oldest's 3rd grade class is taking a field trip to DC in June. I don't want him to go. It's a 2 hour drive and they will be walking around the Smithsonian museums (we've been as a family).
My reasons for not wanting him to go are - 1) 2 hour ride there and back on a school bus, not safe; 2) hundreds of kids with only hand fulls of adults, not safe; 3) he does not listen to ALL of instruction, he listens to the first 1/2 and misses the rest; 4) I can't go b/c siblings are not allowed on field trips (country rule, it's why I don't do more); 5) IT'S DC and we see the news from there every night and 6) I fear the worse when it comes to our nations capitol and it's safety on a daily basis.

Oh, I know that didn't help. Schools make DC a field trip all the time, from all over the country and they are fine. I don't think I could have let my child go though.

[KimS]

I'm with you Electra. I've been carjacked and almost had my daughter taken in it.

Nope. Nobody can protect my kids like I can. So, if I don't go... they don't go.

I often feel like I'm odd one out on this issue because most people let their kids go. Not me. If they really want to go, we plan a family trip... so they're not missing out on the trip.

I also, am not comfortable with the teacher/kid ratios these days.

Of course mine are 8 and 10 this year... so I don't know what it's like to have a 13 year old yet. And when dd was 6, the neighbour's daughter was crossing the road but I wouldn't let my girl (friend of mine was killed when she was 6, by a motorcycle hit). Then, I thought, I wonder if I'll EVER let her cross the road on her own? (we live on an 80-90 km/hr road)

However, now that she's going on ten, I'm fine with it because I can see that she doesn't 'forget' things the way she did when she was six. So when she's 13, I reserve the right to change my mind.

[lmb3]

Well, honestly, I am glad I didn't read the last 2 posts until today. DD is back home safe and sound. Although she called Friday night to tell us the charter bus broke down and they were taking the metro to places on Saturday. Fortunately, we had a family wedding that day to keep my mind off what might happen on a metro in D.C.!! I worried for nothing though. They came back home on Sunday - two hours early even. I am just glad that is over and hopefully I won't have to go through that again for a couple of more years.

Student/chaperone ratios were good on this trip. 40 kids with 2 teachers and 6 parents - and one of the parents is a pediatrician. That would be no different than a family with 5 older kids going out. I am sure not all schools have ratios like that though.

[jccgf]

Age makes a big difference, IMO, in terms of allowing over night or long distance trips, and we're all going to assess risk a little differently based upon our life experience and philosophy.

I didn't let my 9 year old go on a birthday party outing a few years ago, because it was a trip to Build A Bear.... one hour south of the state border and through Chicago metro area traffic. NO WAY! What were these parent's thinking? I guess maybe if it was close family friend taking my child... but somebody I had never even met before... I should trust them with my child?

But...sooner or later we have to start loosening those apron strings. You really have to come to terms with that when they start driving~ I hated that! And then when they go to college... well.... you just don't have any control over what they do. Influence, hopefully. Taught them well, hopefully. Control, no way.

Well, what I didn't want to say earlier is that we opted not to send my daughter on a week long DC trip for her sixth grade class trip...age 12. BUT... we had been there just the previous summer on a family vacation, the trip was expensive, it was fourteen hours away, it was A WEEK long, AND she had just been diagnosed with epilepsy and not under full seizure control. Oh yeah... did I mention lack of sleep was a major seizure trigger? That was the tipping point for me. I was just happy that we had just been there, but I felt badly that she had to miss it. I do think DC is a place worth visiting at least once...although this is a time where we have to think about things we never did even ten years ago.

So, I think sometimes we just have to let go, and hold our breath that everything will be ok. I say that with complete respect for those who can't quite bring themselves to do that. I've been there, too.

Lisa, I'm glad your daughter made it home safe and sound, and I hope she had a great time. This is an experience she'll remember forever.

Cara

[annelb]

It is hard to let go of the kids but I always felt being a sucessful parent meant that I had launched my kids to be independent of me. Oops, they are now grown - I think I launched them too far. One is in Seattle and the other in Wisconsin. Although they live too far away from me, they are good, responsible sons - what more could I ask for.

I am glad to hear that your daughter had fun in DC and she is safe back home.
Anne