[harley]

we all have a talent. whether it is painting, musician, writing, photography, sewing, crossword puzzles, singing, listening, cooking, gardening,being a friend, financial planning, mechanic, problem solving, advocasy,shooting pool, or keeping the peace. there is something we do that we are good at and it helps us realize our identity.

i am a musician and poet. pd cannot take this from me. even if my hands can no longer play the piano, the music will be in my soul. even if i forget my poems, or cannot string together two words that make sense, my being will speak for me. god gave me these gifts, and He doesnt take back what He gives.

there are times when i get so damned tired of the fight. i feel myself disappearing into the maw of disease and my voice becomes an echo bouncing off of walls of perception i used to claim as my identity. the question becomes where do i fit in this world of labels? how can i find the dignity that will protect me from the downward spiral of depression? then, i go sit on my piano bench. or i read my book. or i call a friend just to converse. in other words, i find my self.

i have met so many newly dxd that are terrified of what lay ahead. they are filled with all of the info about medications and disease and they see such a change ahead that they worry about losing who they are. cant happen. what makes a person comes from a place pd cannot find even if it searched long and hard. the first step in recognizing who you are is looking at what you are good at. that tells more than you know.

there is nothing wrong with bragging about a talent. its an exclamation of self. it is dignity. it is pride. with pd, it is also a humbling. this is the step that needs to be taken to find the truth of a talent. that is where the depth of finding self is.