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Hidden disabilities call for as much empathy as those easily apparent
Home News Tribune Online 11/7/07
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There is something I notice every time my wife pulls into a disabled-parking space — an icon of a person in a wheelchair.


While I understand the need to have universal signage for the illiterate and non-English speakers, this little icon does its part in contributing to the myth that people with disabilities have to "look disabled."

The fact is that there are a number of people in the United States with hidden disabilities. A hidden disability is a condition that has chronic symptoms that cannot be seen by the naked eye. According to the U.S. Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights, they include poor hearing, poor vision, diabetes, epilepsy, heart disease, mental or emotional illness, allergies, learning disabilities, ulcers, and kidney or liver disease. They can also include bone disorders, pain disorders, the early stages of multiple sclerosis and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, and HIV.

Granted, not all of these conditions require a person to have disabled parking, but they do pose a problem when the afflicted person tries to gain aid and empathy from those who are unfamiliar with his or her condition.

My wife was diagnosed with avascular necrosis, also called osteonecrosis, of the hips over 10 years ago.

The word "necrosis" means "bone death." In the case of avascular necrosis of the hips, the hip bones degenerate due to lack of blood circulation. After she was diagnosed, and endured much pain, my wife had core-decompression surgery on both hips. This is a procedure where a hole is drilled in the bone to promote bone-tissue growth. It is meant to delay or prevent hip-replacement surgery. There was a long recovery, with my wife being bedbound for a few weeks after.

Today, her right hip is near 100 percent, while her left is about 70 percent. The surgeon said she would likely need hip-replacement surgery after 10 years, but thanks to my wife's resiliency and the grace of God, that has not happened yet.

Due to the condition of her left hip, my wife often has pain and limps on the bad days. She is not supposed to do too many stairs and is not supposed to walk too far (hence the disabled-parking tag). We have a dehumidifier that runs whenever we are home to keep the humidity out of the air to lessen pain in the hip joints.

My wife is also supposed to avoid carrying too much weight. As a result, there have been times when she is running errands where store employees have been reluctant to help her lift things. Sometimes even saying she is disabled is not enough; she has to show her disabled card and, on rare occasions, if the employee is female, my wife has even revealed the surgical scars on her legs. Inevitably, after she finally gets the employee to believe her, the person says, "Oh, but you look so good. You don't look disabled."

I remember being on jury duty for a medical-malpractice case. The woman who was suing had a rare disorder in which her brain sent signals to her body to feel extreme pain in random places. One of the doctors testifying said that pain is that hardest symptom to treat because only the patient knows what they are feeling.

I guess it's the same with other hidden disabilities. But would it be so hard for all of us to have just a little more trust, a little more empathy in our daily lives? The next seemingly healthy guy who asks you to lift a case of bottled water into his cart could have a herniated disc, or might have had two heart attacks. And if someone parks in a disabled space, with a disabled tag hanging from the car's mirror, but then walks to the store without the aid of crutches or a walker, think twice before you give the person the evil eye and suspect fraud.

That person could be fighting pain each step of the way, or, like my wife, he or she could be doing all they can to avoid ending up in a wheelchair — a mirror image of the icon on the disabled-parking sign.

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Chuck Pizar: cpizar@gannett.com.
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