[imark3000]

N.Y.Times article : In spite of all of our progress, we are not happier. I have long noticed that happiness is not much dependent on one's wealth OR EVEN HEALTH !!!!!!!!!!!!??????
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/12/op...th&oref=slogin

[indigogo]

Thanks for posting this - great article!

When it comes down to it, my unhappiness from losing my job is due less to the loss of income and more to the loss of daily contact with friends at work.

At the clinic I go to, they are in the midst of trying to devise survey instruments that measure patient quality of life - it should be an interesting process, one akin to measuring happiness!

[rosebud]

Happy? It occurred to me quite awhile ago that I am no less happy than I would be if I didn't have Parkinson's. People who tend to find things that will keep happiness from their doorstep will do so under whatever circumstance they find themselves in and vise-versa. I am on an antidepressant which I found made my level of happiness, well....more level. I always used to amaze myself that when I was happy I could not think of a good reason to be depressed, and when I was depressed I was sure I never had a happy day ever. I did not have the capacity to remember being anything other than how I was feeling that day. Yet I had a journal that clearly showed I spent time in both conditions. Sometimes one condition would prevail for months. Usually the depressed condition. I could go on and tell you of a thousand things that annoyed or depressed me and I asked myself several times "What would make me happy?" A new car, a better job, a smarter husband, a smaller backside.....What? When I would get any of the aformentioned I was happy for a few minutes, until I could think of something else that I could dwell on and be unhappy about. Some folks are just not happy unless they're unhappy. As for me, well I'm on drugs now and all things considered I'm reasonably happy. I think I'll just leave it on that note

[stevem53]

This is from the text of the book "Alcholics Anonymous"..and when applied to my emotioal reactions to life with pd, grants me peace.....

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

From Buddy T:..

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only to watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity.

[paula_w]

This may sound simplified, but I think the one thing that has caused me the most anxiety and unhappiness is living in an unkempt house. I don't have the energy to clean, have a daughter in her twenties [they don't see mess or dirt; it is invisible to them], and a 4 yr old grandson- he's gotta play!.

I try to accept the food on the floor, the ants it can attract, the mess, but for someone who was raised in a family where cleanliness truly was next to godliness - I am constantly feeling inadequate.

The most ridiculous thing of all, is that I am pretty much of a homebody and when I get together with friends it's out at a restaurant or somewhere else. No one sees the mess, so I'm fretting over an imaginary situation of someone seeing my messy house.

PD and the work ethic don't mesh too well. I agree with many of the comments above, Rosebud you are right, I am no less happy with PD and I'm sure it's about bringing out something that may have never emerged in a "normal" life.

[MKane]

To me happiness is a decision. I've made the choice to be happy despite PD and other aggravations!

[jcitron]

Paula,

Your view is not simplied at all. I feel your frustration as well. Things aren't what they should be, and there's no way to control it. You have the gumption to do the work, but the energy or the physical ability isn't. It's too bad that the others in your household couldn't be more helpful instead of relying on you to do the work. In my household of 6 adults, we all pitch in the best we can to get things done no matter how rotten the chore.

I used to play the piano at a concert-level. Over the past three years, my abilities have slowly slipped from my fingers so now when I have a 'good' day, what ever that is, it's not anything close to what I was like even three years ago. I would love to be back where I was then, and I was complaining about that! This is like someone or some being is slowly, ever so slowly, chipping away at my soul and pulling the music from my grasp. I struggle now, even on my good days, to play a slow Chopin Nocturne without too many mistakes. The music no longer flows from my fingers and hands the way it used to. I've actually closed the music in shame, and walked away in tears. At one point, I was going to give up, walk away, and go for a swim in the muddy Merrimack! This is very depressing, discouraging and painful.

So having said this, I've done a lot of thinking, and I've learned to take things in stride. This is the life we've been dealt and there's not much we can do about it except for living it the best we can.

Am I happy? Well only with pills. The Celexa has smoothed out the bumps, but in reality the answer is Hell no! Who can be happy when we face a chronic condition with no cure anytime soon.

John

[imark3000]

As PD prgresses many good things slip away from our hands or from our control ... but without PD life itself slips away without even noticing !
PD at least gives us the chance to notice the present! how wonderful to live even for a good hour .. enjoy a song ..a hobbly walk .. or the fall of water on one's body in a shower..
PD redeemed all my feelings of guilt and made a mockery of my stupid dreams !
Happiness is pure existence ! the joy of being alive before the window closes for ever

[Judith]

John, I also was a concert-level classical pianist but can no longer sit at the piano because it is too painful and my fingers don't cooperate. I have taken up the Mountain Dulcimer and am enjoying it very much. I even sing with my weird Parkie voice. Perhaps you could find another way to keep music? Just a thought.

Paula, I had a meltdown because the dogs tracked in on my freshly shampooed carpet. It took me days to recuperate from the last shampooing episode. I'm still struggling to find a way to deal with my inability to keep the house as I would like. I know what you mean about growing up with cleanliness as next to godliness. Steve is right. The Serenity Prayer is certainly helpful in not distressing oneself over what cannot be changed. But the thing is, when I see the dirty house I think it can be changed--and I should change it!

imark and MKane, You're right. Happiness is a choice. The hard part is remembering to choose it when things go wrong. For me, a positive attitude is the key to feeling better, both physically and mentally.

I love this quote from James Kilpatrick: "Half the people in the world make mountains out of molehills. The other half tend to make molehills out of mountains." I've been labeled a pollyanna, but I'd still rather fall in the latter group.

Judith

[Stitcher]

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
~~James Oppenheim


When you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness.
~~Nicole Kidman, in The Scotsman


Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.
~~Roy M. Goodman