[dllfo]

I am only mentioning this because we know people who "run around" with some of our doctors and I think I have gained insight into what makes a good doctor.

Our next door neighbor is a Primary Care Physician. He lived next door for 13 years. He is about 50 and just filed divorce on his wife.
A mutual friend said he moved in with a much younger lady.

His wife is a good person who has given much of her time to local charities and is a very nice person to be neighbors with. I could not recommend him because I have personally observed him and dealt with him for neighborly type things. I found him to be pretty much self-centered and cold. Part of that could be an obsession with his job, but I doubt it.

Another doctor of mine is considered one of the top doctors in his field worldwide. He runs around with a mutual friend, so we get to keep track of him whether we want to or not. She says nothing but good things about him. Good neighbor, etc.

None of us are perfect, but it would nice to have a website where we could rate our doctors. No profanity, just honest opinions of their job performance.

Example: We have had our primary care doctor for about ten years. Our daughter came home a few years ago and said he actually smiled during her office visit. I told HIM about this and laughed and laughed, saying he needed to lighten up. When he entered the profession in his thirties he was told to maintain a professional demeanor, but it looked like he had carried it too far.
This doctor has made a couple of serious errors in my treatment, but I never complained to him because I believe he sincerely is trying to help me.

Does the doctor's personality matter that much to you? Some of my friends say "Heal me, I can get personality from a TV." I go to the best doctor I can find, so personality is not critical to me. But all factors being equal , I go to the one I like.

What matters most to you?

[KathyM]

I don't take into consideration their personal problems, as long as they don't carry it into the office. The only thing about their personality that matters to me is that they be up front and truthful with me. Most importantly, I want them to fully listen to my needs and pain and take them into consideration while deciding a course of treatment. I want them to respect me as a human being and respect my opinion of my own body.

I am blessed to have three outstanding doctors. They got off easy though because there is no cure or treatment for my type of illness (rare form of familial amyloidosis). When I go in for a check-up on the progression of my disease, it's more like a social visit.

With my eye doctor, it's a chance for him to show me off to his colleagues, residents and medical students. They all line up to look into my eyes and oooh and ahhhh over the site they see due to lattice corneal dystrophy. They should see it from MY end, lol. My doc gets to tell the story of discovering the first known patient in the U.S. - my mother way back when. As painful as the exams are, it's fun listening to him talk. He reminds me of an old man sitting on a porch telling stories of back in the day. I'm thankful he's passing on what he knows to future generations of doctors.

With my internal medicine doc, we compare aches and pains to lab work. Then he sits back in his chair and asks me how I'm doing, as if he has all the time in the world.

With my neurologist, I rarely see her - but she was very instrumental when I needed help with disability. She spent hours with me on my first visit, along with a pharmacist - to discuss options in pain medication. I rarely see her because I've opted out of taking any type of narcotic medication or pain med to treat my pain. At my pain levels, only morphine could knock it out - I don't want to spend the rest of my life on morphine. I don't need to see her to know the neuropathies (peripheral, autonomic, trigeminal) are getting worse.

[Tootsie]

Your question deserves a lot of thought!

My FIL and my neice are doctors. I had a good relationship with my former docs.

I guess it was mutual interests and family ties. Anyway, I knew them as really nice guys who cared about their patients and had a good sense of humor too.

A sense of humor is important to me and also compassion. Doctoring can be a tough job and you could get kind of hard nosed.

My FIL was a wonderful guy and a good doctor. He was kind and generous as well.

My current doctor is okay; we don't have a lot in common, but I trust him though he can irk me sometimes. He's kind of a jerk about how many things you can bring up when you see him.

It confuses me because more than one thing can be a problem and you often need advice.

I don't like to doctor shop. I've had to move and leave behind my favorite docs, dentists and hairstylists.

It's a real struggle to find replacements.

I miss the days when there were fewer trips to specialists. In my opinion each specialist can find something. Maybe we don't need to know everything wrong with us? I know I won't last forever and at 63 I know there is a good bit wrong with me.

Do I want a zillion (exageration I know!) surgeries?

I have MS. (neuro)
Thyroid disease (endo)
Sinus and Asthma (ENT and Pulmo)
Bladder issues (uro)

Get the picture!

Once upon a time I could go to one doctor for all of the above. If there was a serious problem, I'd see a specialist or surgeon.

Now it's like every week brings a new appointment.

Last dentist wanted to replace all my old fillings, do some cosmetic stuff, etc. $18,000.

Hello....I've lived with the old fillings for years and years (in molars) and at this point I don't feel like I need to look like the Cheshire cat when I smile.

What is the limit I wonder?

Tootsie

[CayoKay]

a GOOD doc is one who LISTENS well.

treats the patient with RESPECT and patience.

and... actually remembers the patient from one visit to the next.

he/she is open to learning new things.

and studies continually, and doesn't think they already KNOW it all.

I tend to ignore the personal stuff as well...

one of the BEST docs we had was involved in a messy marriage and divorce.

[dllfo]

Good answers.

I was gone 6 weeks to the National Jewish Hospital, the number one Respiratory Hospital in the USA - ten years straight. So you KNOW they have some good doctors and a good program. The doctors there sit and listen really well. They will spend an hour or two if necessary. I learned a lot from them.

Locally, most of my doctors listen. BUT when I go in I am organized. I take a print out of my meds and vitamins. I take my laptop with all the questions I have typed out. I cut and paste internet articles I think I are important. I give a print out of my info to the doctor and when he reads through it, he is ready to answer.

Tootsie, I don't have any doctors in my family, but I know several on a personal level. I try really, really hard NOT to discuss medical issues unless they bring it up.

KathyM, I have been on morphine and a break through opiate for over a few years. The complications are not pleasant. But at the time I had to make a decision and the stress from the pain was bad. I am down to minimums for my condition. No surgery. Not that I need to worry, all the doctors said I am beyond repair.

Sacramento Magazine sends questionaires to something like 3,000 medical professionals and they pick the "Top Docs". I now have 5 "Top Docs" out of the 10 doctors I see and they really are better than my previous doctors. My biggest problem has been the staffs of various doctors. In fact, I left 2 doctors because their staff kept messing up my records, making appt that were too short for a proper examination and so on.

This magazine does articles on these doctors. It is interesting to see what they think is valuable and how they achieve it.

[Darlene]

I guess I am lucky in a way, my DH is in the medical field and is around a good number of doctors. We have had good luck getting into the right ones.

Although there has been times I have been very disappoint in the one I was seeing. One in was a PCP in which he would not address me as he was talking, but my DH. Man was happy to get away from him.

I have always like the doctors that come in and sit down as if you were his/her's last appointment of the day. If only all doctors would rub elbows with them all of us would be in goodhape.

Darlene

[FinLady]

A good doc:

One who knows his stuff and trys to keep current.

One who listens to what you are saying and respects you.

I like the docs who have at least a little humor.

One who doesn't act like you are wasting their time and doesn't talk down to you.

[KathyM]

My neurologist has a great sense of humor and a huge heart. My primary doc referred me to her for neuropathic pain - gave me her phone number and email address. I called the number, but couldn't get an appointment for 6 months - she doesn't have a private practice. I emailed her and told her I couldn't sleep due to pain and didn't think I could stay awake that long. I got an appointment for the following week, but she had to examine me in the EMG room at the hospital. Some on her staff were unaware of my appointment time and location because the doc spoke with me directly.

So, I'm sitting in the EMG room talking with the doc when the door opens and a nurse sticks her head in to say good morning to the doc. She didn't know I was sitting behind the door. She happily blurts out "Hi Doc...how the F are you?

My doc's eyes grew HUGE and she looked at me in terror. The nurse peeked her head around and saw me sitting there. The look on the nurse's face was PRICELESS.

We were all motionless as we stared at each other with big eyes, then I busted out laughing.

They were both very apologetic, but I saw it in a completely different light. I didn't see any vulgarity or disrespect. I saw a doctor and nurse who had a solid working relationship, with mutual respect for each other - a GREAT benefit to a patient.

[Alffe]

I'm in the middle of an excellent book, Better A Surgeon's Notes On Performance by Atul Gawande and he puts a human face on the medical profession. If only more drs. had his compassion and understanding. Hubris does not seem to be in his vocabulary.

[CayoKay]

lol, Finny-baybee... great minds think alike!

a sense of humor is an added bonus, and compassion is also good.

but if the doc LISTENS to me, and is knowledgeable and respectful, it's all good.