[Corkybird]

As a mother of 2 adult sons, why does it sometimes become so difficult for us to let them do things their OWN way??
When I see one son with his live in girlfriend of 7 yrs (dang what's wrong with these boys why can't they become engaged!!), and I hear him tell of their parties..see the bottles of rum, vodka still sitting on the counter in the midst of packing items for a move (like they've been used earlier that day while packing other items), I begin to visually see my son as an alcoholic. It angers me that the girlfriend smokes, but if this is their only "faults" so to speak...it's them that will someday have to answer to God!
The older son is the one recovering from recent chemo...I just sit back and think at times "what more could it take other than cancer to get him to wake up" ??
I see him going out to eat sometimes 4 nites a wk instead of the girlfriend fixing a meal at home, I see the house not cleaned the way it should be, the lack of exercising...it all just irritates my mind. I need to cut the apron strings so to speak and let them both live their lives and be happy that they've got girls that are loving to them, and hubby and I dearly love BOTH of the girlfriends.
Taking it all to our Lord in Prayers is sometimes difficult when we realize that HE is the one in charge..not us Moms!!! LOL


Blessings to all,


Marilyn

[KathyM]

((Marilyn))

I know what you mean. That's all you can do now. I asked my ONLY child not to go chasing waterfalls. He's somewhere out walking in the desert dressed up like a 12-point buck. I can't guarantee an angry young boy won't sneak up on him and try to prove his "manhood" by killing my son. There's nothing I can do to prevent my son from dying.

[SandyC]

Oh how I know what you mean. Mine are both in college and there are times I find myself lecturing to closed ears. They are wonderful sweet boys but eager to do things on their own. But, the good news is they know where to come if needed. Our challenge is to know when to turn them away to fly with their own wings and when to help pick them up. For me, that's the hardest thing.

[Twinkletoes]

Yes, it is so difficult to watch the ones we love best, not reach their full potential (as perceived by us, anyway).

When my DD18 dropped out of school and "joined the circus" (she actually was a salesman with one of those traveling outfits that go door-to-door), I knew she was not safe. She did have a boyfriend who, after 4 years, got her pregnant. He told her to "Go home and die."

For the years leading up to that day I feared that when she finally did come home, it would be in a body bag.

The pregnancy was rough b/c the baby had gastroschisis (hole in the abdomen). Dr. said he'd recommend termination. She kept him and he is a bright and cute little 9yo now.

Happily, she married (met on eHarmony) and they just had her 3rd child.

Through the years I (like you and most good parents) spent a lot of time worrying about my four kids and their poor choices: drugs, cigarettes, liquor, tattoos, dropping out of school, divorces, children out of wedlock, etc. etc., but they've finally settled into married life and are good providers, parents and spouses.

The best advice I ever got? I went to a clergyman and rattled on and on how my son would go to jail if I didn't intervene, blah blah blah. He just sat there and smiled. When I finally shutup and asked him what to do, he gave me the words of advice that I would keep leaning on: "Just love 'em."

I did and I do. Just love 'em. I backed off and let them make their mistakes and learn from them, just like I was allowed to do when I was a young person.

Well, didn't mean to use up all the thread here, but just wanted to reassure you that, though we worry about them, kids usually turn out just fine. Your loving the girlfriends is definitely cause for celebration! Everything will work out, you'll see.

You've given me an idea, Corkybird. Going to start a "best advice you ever got" thread. Thanks and best wishes to you and your family.

[Chemar]

(((Corky)))

we have to 'let go' and trust God that the foundation we have laid with His help will be firm on the Rock

never forget....God IS faithful and He never lets us go, nomatter where we may wander

I love this song by Mark Harris...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3lmooWI8n0

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

[Idealist]

That was beautiful, Cheri. You know, it's funny but I was reading about this just the other day. Jesus said that when He came to earth, he brought with Him a sword, and would use it to cleave father from son, and mother from daughter. The same with other relatives. And the message was that we are all children of God, and not of each other. My parents may have created my physical body, and taught me how to live, but God creqted my soul, and that's the only part of me which will really last.

I don't know what it will be like if I ever do make it to Heaven, but common sense tells me that God will be my only Father there. The relationships which we have here on earth cannot be the same. What about people who have lost a spouse and remarried? Would they have two spouses in Heaven? Of course not. I don't know exactly how it works, but I think it's safe for me to say that ultimately we are all God's children, and that will always be our closest relationship.

[Corkybird]

Allowing the baby birds to use their own wings, leave the nest...and fly under their own power. Some take off to great heights, others fall to the ground. But we, as parents...pick them up, give them a hug, reassure them that they CAN do it on their own...then set them on their way again.
I should, and I AM thankful for many, many things that the sons have done good with their lives, like stick with college to get their degrees and have excellent careers...one as an architect, the other as a civil engineer. They care about both of us parents and appreciate the little things that we do for them. Be thankful for what we've got is the message that the Holy Spirit is sending to me today, after a night full of many prayers after beginning this thread yesterday. Thanks be to all you great friends, and......

Thanks Be to God!!



Marilyn