[weeble37]

I just started blogging this week after saying I was going to do it for over a month. The blog is not only about MS but if you'd like to stop by, here's the link:

http://messystuffalifewithms.blogspot.com/

I wanted to be a writer for years and the back story is presented in the first two posts. I've finally broken free of the feeling that I can't do it and I am doing it.

If you do stop by, please answer the poll question. It's ridiculously easy and kinda funny.

Weebs

[Twinkletoes]

Weeble, I read every word of your blog. You write beautifully and from the heart. I tried to leave a comment, but couldn't see the graphic to verify I wasn't a bot. *sigh* Happens a lot.

[weeble37]

Thanks for the post comment here. I really do appreciate it.

The comment part is a hassle. I think there was a little button with a wheelchair when I was signing up that showed the letters bigger or differently for people who had trouble reading them, but I don't think that is an option in the comment part.


I'll have to look at that and mention it to the powers that be as an issue if that symbol isn't there. Then again, how did the wheelchair become the international symbol for disabilities or differing abilities? I understand with the bathroom but to see better online...? I guess it's just such a recognizable symbol that most people would figure it out....

Again, thanks for reading. I know people I don't know are reading it and when they give me some feedback I really appreciate it.

I need to think of a topic for todays' message yet...

Weebs :-)

[kicker]

I enjoy your Blog - Thanks!!!

[lady_express_44]

Great job, Weeble. I enjoyed reading about your family history, and dx process. Great humor speckled throughout too.

Writing can be very therapeutic too, I think.

Cherie

[weeble37]

I just wanted to say thanks again to everyone who has stopped by to read and comment.

I have some links to other MS bloggers now on my page if you're into that sort of thing.

I'm so proud that I finally got a counter at the bottom of the page. Woohoo, what a dork I am!

Thanks again,
Weebs

[dmplaura]

I definitely read and would have commented, but you have to register or something... I couldn't figure it out in any case, so just letting you know I have your blog bookmarked for reading Some great stuff you've written. I definitely agree with your numbered list of life lessons

[dmplaura]

Just got done reading about the weight struggles. It felt all too familiar.

I suffered and suffer from anorexia. Like you say, you don't have to be thin or fat to have an eating disorder.

At my lightest, I was probably under 95 pounds (age 19). I stopped looking at the scale. I don't even want to know what I did end up at, but my starving myself ultimately lead to mono. Which I'm sure didn't help my lingering chance for MS to develop.

Everything you detailed, including the interaction with the parents... like looking in the mirror. For me, it brought back a lot of memories.

I don't starve myself anymore. I eat. But I do watch what I eat. I tend to overdo the scale checking (sometimes twice daily). I feel "bad" when I have a snack that I know is too close to bedtime. Most days, I feel 'fat', when I know that really, I'm not. I'm a healthy weight, but I know I will struggle with this constant self image battle for my entire life.

When I was with the last bf of 7 years, I shoveled the food in. He loved me, I loved him, we'd always be together, and he didn't care what I looked like, right?

So freaking similar. We should get together sometime and do coffee girl

[weeble37]

Wow, thanks for that, dmplaura. It feels "good" to know that someone else out there "gets" the whole food issue. That was a tough post to write but getting it out there has helped me.

Hiding all this stuff inside is just one more thing weighing me down, so to speak. There was just such a weird dynamic in my family, still is.

Now I am frightened about going back to work. I teach and I feel awful so much of the time. I don't go out and really do much because I am wiped out. Ritalin isn't working and that was supposed to knock the Provigil out of the park.

Back to Provigil. I won't be able to get the sleep my body really needs, which can be 12 hours a night or more.

Tomorrow I need to call my neuro to discuss the switch from Rebif to possibly Tysabri. I just want to feel better and more normal. It just wears me down to think I will spend another year killing myself for work.

Sigh, enough for now. I'll save it for my blog.

It still amazes me that people actually read it! I put a hit counter there on Sunday night and there have been something like 143 hits since then, in less than 72 hours.

Thanks again everyone,
Weebs

[dmplaura]

Blogs from real people are awesome. I was always a fan of documentaries. Blogs are even better.

I really do appreciate you writing that, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who does. I think image and weight issues are more common than we can ever fathom, because so many are ashamed or scared to speak openly about it.

I really do hope you find some relief with the drug situation, and good luck with the Ty discussions.