[who moi]

As I dragged my tired and weary body to the laundry room with the laundry basket, I cursed to myself that this was going to be the third load of the day and it was only 2pm in the afternoon.

The kids were finally asleep (or pretending to be...) and as much as I'd like to take a nap myself, I had to catch up with all the work AND additional tasks that just seemed to add up with every second.

As I stuck in a tiny sock with catsup all over it, I heard a snicker---it was mine---and then I just started to crack up as I loaded the tiny clothes, socks, and shirts and jackets full of milk and catsup.

That morning was one of those mornings, the kids had been with us for almost 3 weeks now and pandemonium had become the main theme in our usually quiet home with the arrival of E and J.

E is a bright eyed 4 yo little girl with sparkling brown eyes that have mischief behind them with tiny dimples right below her eyes that reveal themselves whenever she'd smile; her long brown hair and long banes that partially draped over her small darling apple cheeks at times show precociousness (AT TIMES); her lips are like her grandmom's, soft and full at the bottom and bows at the top.

With all these weapons and her often big smile, it made it hard for grandpa to be "mad" too much...

J is a blonde haired blue eyed 3 yo little boy who is his own person. He is quite handsome and talks with a little bit of a lisp. Whenever he'd smile his dimples on his cheeks radiated the room. He is full of questions and yet would come up with his own answers that would make one howl at the wonders of the tiny brilliant brains. He is also quite a lady's man for every time we'd go somewhere, there would always be some lady(s) that would become quite smitten with him and couldn't resist talking to him or pinch his cheeks (but that would make him withdraw cause he is quite shy).

his weapons also can disarm a fully geared grouchy grandpa especially when he starts to throw his logics back at grandpa who would have no come backs...

As I tried to wake them up to start the day, I had already planned a full day on the schedule. Along with trying to get some work done, we were going to go to the park after I meet up with one of my clients (a very quick meeting which he had graciously granted that it was OK for me to bring the kids).

Getting these kids up from the bed was not hard, the hard part came (always, it seems) from getting them from the "up" position and to the breakfast table…

Now, their bedroom to the dining room is a mere 25 feet or less(I am giving them 25 feet cause of their tiny 4 feet = 1 cubic feet although they DO run all the time it seems and we can have a margin of +1 or -1 feet per square foot) and should not take longer than 5 seconds to get to. However, the whole ordeal would take about 20 minutes.

Already, they were full of questions right in their bedroom:

"What are we going to do today?"; "Where's nonny (da wife)?? Is she at work? (This was asked everyday)" ; "What are we going to eat for breakfast?"; "Who's the President of the United States?" (Ok, maybe not that, but there would always be a question or two that I absolutely don't know the answer to...and during the time that they were here, I did not had any inkling what was happening around the world outside my home)

Getting them to sit at their chairs would take another five to ten minutes because there was a debate and argument about where who was going to sit next to and why NOBODY wanted to sit next to the already grouchy ole grandpa even though grandpa kept on telling them that our table is ROUND and that it wouldn't make ANY difference...no matter, it still took that long.

After the cereals and milk were poured and placed in front of them, I quickly sucked mine down and then got up to walk to the laundry room to put in the first load of laundry for the day.

That IS another thing...with the kids around, there would always be an endless amount of laundry to be washed throughout the day, EVERY day...

Physically, it didn’t make any sense…

their clothes were only 1/4 of the size of us adults but it seemed with every load, there were just a copious amount of "kiddie clothes" yet they came with only an "X" amount of clothes for this visit. The ratio would be 1 adult cloth to 4 kiddie clothes in every wash yet the size ratio was 4 kiddie clothes to ONE adult cloth. These kiddie clothes just seemed to multiply themselves in our laundry everyday…

"Paaapo--oh!! (I had asked them to call me papo which I'll explain later)" a tiny yet BIG voice yelled from the dining room

"What is it?!?!?!?!"

"You forgot our juice!!"

For some reason, these kids cannot talk at a NORMAL volume, everything seemed to have to be shouted or yelled.

I asked them to wait. We had just watched a kids' show a day ago about being "patient" which they absolutely have NO concept of which I tried really hard to ingrain into them the past day or so.

Didn't work….

"Papo!! We want juice!!"

"I said wait!!" I yelled back as I stuck in more laundry and growled beneath my breath and whispered to myself "I said wait, ya little brats..."

"PAAAAAAAPPPPOOOO!!!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????!!!!!!!"

"We want jew......"

I came storming out of the laundry room...my eyes bulging and my face taut...I didn't care if they wanted to be Jewish or Muslim or even a fat Buddha for I am totally for freedom of religion...but I wasn't going to be bullied and converted while I was doing laundry...

"I said, wait! J and E! papo was busy trying to do YOUR laundry...you have to wait and be patient, remember?? Remember when we learned about patience on Kai-Lan on TV??"

"But we're thirsty and you said that we are supposed to drink a lot so we can stay healthy…”

Well, how could I argue with that? It was MY own logic…they were eating their cereals and it had MILK in it but that wasn't considered a "drink" and they were thirsty, of course.

I had lost the round, again. I thought to myself as I turned around to get them juice and rolled my eyes…

I poured juice into their sippy cups, which I consider one of the greatest inventions of the century that I would appreciate even more later on that afternoon.

"Ummm, papo, can I have milk instead of juice??" E asked, she loves milk.

I was JUST about to place the cups on their table when her smile and innocent eyes with a sly twinkle in them asked me so very sweet and innocently if she could have milk instead...

"But E," as I mustered up a stiff smile and said the rest of the sentence without moving my lips NOR my teeth, "taco already toured juice into the cut..."
(translation: “papo already poured juice into the cup…”)

Wow, I had no idea that I was a ventriloquist but I was sure that "I" was the "dummy"....

"But papo, I really, really love milk...I am serious...I REALLY love milk..." She batted her eyes at me..."Puhlease, paaaapo??"

My shoulders dropped as I let out a big sigh...how could I resist such a sweet face and voice…as the strings from above that were attached to my extremities moved me back to the fridge to get E some milk.

And it was MY fault, I knew she loved milk, she asked for milk every morning, how could I have given her juice?

Oh, I know, because it was J that asked for juice and I'd just assumed that THEY wanted juice...

As I squinted at him and furrowed my brows, he tilted his tiny blonde head and smiled and his dimples seemed to swallowed the daggers that I was shooting at him and said: "I love you, papo!"

E yelled in accord, "I love you too, papo!!"

And then they both grinned big toothy grins at moi...

It was middle of the fall but I was melting in our dining room, like a snowman...how could I be mad at them? They love me...sniff...sniff

(ladies and gents, this is where you would picture a BIG sucker walking around).

Through the squirming and the chatting and the occassional bickering among them that would sometimes involved a third party(moi), breakfast was finally over, which took over 40 minutes to complete, for them, that is.

I had been scientifically timing each activity to see how long each one would usually take so I could plan things or sync things. But to my surprise, after almost three weeks with them, I still could NOT get close to how long each activity would take let alone trying to plan or synchronize activities…

The only weapons I had learned were to eat fast and stay a step ahead of them whenever possible and as I hurried them to brush their teeth and wash their faces so I could clean up the table that is now splattered with bits of cereals and milk, that trip from the dining room to the bathroom took another 10 minutes.

The argument or plea, really, was why they SHOULD and WANT to watch television, or as E would say it, tellervizion and why they do NOT want to brush their teeth nor get ready.

Everyday there were new logics but the logic that day was that TV really made them happy and brushing their teeth doesn’t.

I stated that I'd like to take them out later to the park to play thus they must get ready. But as excited as they were about going to the park to play, they still wanted to watch television "NOW" and that they really don't want to go to the park even though they WOULD like to play LATER the park thus they really shouldn’t need to brush their teeth.

Did that just made sense to ANYBODY? I didn’t think so….

That’s ANOTHER thing…everything was contradictory...one minute they want to do this but the next minute they don’t…

Finally, a negotiation was reached about them getting some treats (they got tons from Halloween and we'd been rationing them) IF they listened to papo.

I guess they decided the treats were worth it and went to brush their teeth and to get ready.

I went back to the table to clean it up while thinking that they were brushing their teeth when I heard the pitter patter of the little feet into the living room.

I peeked into the living room and it was E princess prancing in the living room and the next thing I know, J ran out as well and they were now laughing and playing.

I walked into the living room and then stood with my hands on my hips and just watched this event unfolding, it seemed that a royal wedding was about to place right in front of my living room (but I wasn’t invited!!), but the problem was that both of the princess and the prince would have bad teeth and bad breath that even the dragon wouldn’t dare to attend. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or to be mad.

They didn't notice me until a few moments later. I was sure my face wasn't that of an amused grandpa that thought that they were cute (but perhaps in the back of my mind, I WAS kind of smiling to myself and saying, “hey, that’s cute”). They both grinned big at me to try to disarm moi but both grimaced when I asked, "did you brush your teeth???"

"no..." came the responses from both. Funny, the response was barely audible…why couldn’t they talk like this ALL the time?

"WHY???????????????" My nostrils flared as I asked.

The responses ranged from J couldn't get his tooth paste out to E was a princess to finally blaming each other cause the other one wasn't brushing their teeth so the other didn’t have to. (Did anybody get that? I didn’t either…LOL)

As I huffed and puffed and started to threaten them with timeouts, they scrambled back to the bathroom to brush their tiny teeth as I turned and smiled at my iniquity and actual amusement: Kids...it's a good thing that they were made to be cute...

Finally, the first load of laundry was in and they were brushing their teeth but I felt like I'd spent all my energy already.

As I looked at the clock, it laughed back at me, pointing out to me that it was only 8:05 am and that the day had barely begun…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When E was about 1 1/2 yo and J was about 10 months, they were separated from their parents as well as all their relatives. Moss and I were 4 states away and we were powerless because the state intervened to take the kids away.

Our daughter was not able to take care of the kids at the time because she was not "well". Her husband at the time was a deadbeat and neither of them were really taking care of the kids.

We couldn't take the kids because there were no room where we lived. Our place at that time just didn't have enough space to take the kids in. By the time that we were ready, the state they lived in had already intervened and took the kids away.

It was a heartbreaking experience especially for da wife. Da daughter had just been acting up left and right and her marriage was failing. Moss's first husband passed away a few years before by his own hands and everything was just a mess.

We actually did try to take E in when she was about 3 months old and she stayed in our tiny room with us. But after a week or so, Moss's daughter called and wanted E back right THEN and NOW. We were a bit miffed and asked her to give us a little time to get ready because we just made the long and arduous trip up to pick E up. But she then started to accuse us of trying to steal E from her. That really left a bad taste in our mouths as we negotiated and decided to meet up half way, about 400 miles.

After that, da daughter would then repeatedly ask us again to take E from time to time but we just got tired of the games and would refuse except for legitimate visits.

Then J was born and da daughter's marriage took a turn for the worse (not sure how much worse it could've turned because it was already worse in the first place) and then all heck broke loose while da moss and I were planning our wedding and trying to build our house (because we had thought about taking the grandkids in once we had the room).

But by then, all of our relatives had gotten involved in taking care of the kids partly due to our plea. Da daughter were just handing E and J left and right to our close relatives yet she would play mind games with both the kids and the care takers to make sure that she was the ALPHA mommy.

Things such as "mommy IS the one that loves you" whenever she'd visit her kids for a few minutes and then leaves them again at the hands of others. And in the meanwhile, she would play the “I am going to kill myself” card…

It was just such dramatic in your face and unappreciative attitude that occurred quotidianly that finally, somebody reported her to the social services...

The state then intervened and the kids were placed in a foster home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought about all the foster homes these two sweet kids had been in and I tried to shake it all out of my head while I tried to get myself ready for the day…

By now their teeth were brushed and they were watching one of their favorite programs: "Super Why".

I rushed to get myself ready. I really wanted to stay and watch "Super Why" with them because it is such a well done show. The program reinvents a fairy tale every time and then they teach the kids how to spell and there was always a "moral of the story" in the show. I usually watch it with them and then we would discuss what happened and what it was about and MAYBE what they’d learned. (They are smart kids and learned a lot, but the “moral” part always skip them…LOL)

That's another thing; all of a sudden I had become an authority on kids’ shows now. Besides the fact that that's the only time I get to watch TV anymore and I don't get to watch anything else due to no time and no energy.

If anyone would've asked me who was the Prime minister of Djibouti, I wouldn't had a clue, but if someone would've asked me what happened on Dora the Explorer that day, I bet I could tell them all the adventures we, I mean, the kids went on...

But that day was not a day for me to sit with them to watch our favorite, I mean THEIR favorite show. I needed to take advantage of that time to get myself ready.

Rushing had become my pace because I usually move at a snail’s pace. I mean, I usually move so slow that when I am walking on the road, tortoise would stop and chat with me and then laugh at how slow I was.

I learned to rush also because of an incident when they first arrived…

I had put in "Toy Story" and I had read the box: approx. 1 hour and 48 min.

I had an HOUR and 48 mins…wow, that's almost 2 hours!! Awesome...I filled up their sippy cups and I got them chips and food and I made sure they knew where the potty was and I told them that I will be getting ready.

I really needed a hair cut and I was going to cut my hair, shave, take a shower, I figured, 1 hour, tops with time to burn…

Our bedroom is approx. 30 feet max from the couch where they sat so I could run right out if I’d hear anything, NO PROBLEM!!

I went to the bedroom, took my time to cut my hair, then sat on the throne and actually had the nerve to read a little bit, thinking, hey, it's pretty quiet out there, I should be OK...

I yelled out: "Are you guys OK??"

"Yeah!!!!”

Cool, I thought to myself as I continued on to read and to give myself hemorrhoid.

Then I finished shaving and started to take my shower and decided I was going to ENJOY this shower…

WHAT nerve!!

Just as I was enjoying myself and singing and humming along, I saw 4 eyeballs peeking through our frosted glass shower door and two big smiles...

"WHAT DA………… E AND J!!!! What are you guys doing!!"

I yelled for them to get out while I frantically tried to cover all the important areas, but they were too amused and thought it too funny to take me seriously, I felt a bit funny myself but was flustered as I opened the shower door and quickly reached for my towel and ordered them out...

"What are you two doing? I thought you were watching TV??"

"It's over...and we called you, papo, but you didn’t answer…”

"Over??"

I checked the time, yep; I'd been in the bathroom for almost 2 hours now...what was I thinking, that I could indulge myself with 2 active kids around?? Where’s my brain??

After that incident, lesson learned, everything was done in super fast speed.

Eating…FAST
Potty….FAST
Sex…fa…
Actually….NONE!! (That’s another thing, kids equal zero libido…)

“The Flash” would have nothing on me...nothing...

Super Why is about 24 minutes of programming and the remaining 6 mins are fillers, that's when they would start to fidget...by the time they had started to watch it, it was toward the middle of the programming but I was ready for the challenge, to beat the end of the program. (Good thing it wasn’t “The Tortoise and the Hare” for the fairy tale that day…)

It took me 20 seconds to get to the bathroom and within 3 minutes, I was done...

I got out in time for the end of the show and for me to refill their ORDERS…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The DSS folks had ORDERED the daughter 18 months to straighten her life out (in the mean time, the father had left already) if she wanted the kids back.

On our end, we tried everything we could to help the daughter to help her get back on her feet...but she just never got the motivation and in the 18 month along with another 4 month extension. By this time, the kids were placed in the second foster home while we planned to become possible foster or even adoptive parents to the kids (of course, we just hoped that da daughter would straighten out and take the kids and that was what she assured us that she wanted)

The interstate bureaucracy was also hard to understand and to get through. It took us over 2 weeks to get an "emergency" visit with our own grandchildren so we could bring them down to live with us for awhile while we all await their fate.

Where DO they go next? Was the question that was on everyone's minds...

(To be Cont.)

[who moi]

*disclaimer...

ahhh, forget about the stupid disclaimer...

I so apologize for not being around, dear folks...I think of you all everyday...

the kids were "returned" almost two weeks ago and I know a lot of folks were waiting for updates and such...

the past two weeks have been hectic in that we both were trying to catch up with work and then trying to get our house ready for all sorts of different inspection so our home would be ready to "receive" the kids shall they come to live with us on a more perm basis.

Then moss got sick and then I got really sick...I just got better today...

all this time lapse missing from one of my favorite places in the world to come to, has made me felt really guilty and embarassed...with each passing day that I didn't come here, I got more guilty about coming to even lurk anymore...

because of trying to discipline myself into getting some much needed work done and then feeling like crap but most of all, feeling like I've neglected folks that I care so much for, I ended up cocooning myself...which is stupid stinking thinking...

anyways...it was fun remembering the kids this way, they have a place rooted deeply in my heart...

today was my dad's birthday, I thought about death and life a lot...

how the cycle of life goes on and how watching two lively kids really helps heal the pain of the ones passed...

I hope nobody minded me posting this on the SOS forum, I was going to post it at social chat but SOS forum will always be my home...

I will try to come back and finish this memoir with the kids...not that anyone should find it interesting to read...LOL

(((((Everyone))))) thank you all so much for your PM's and emails and well wishes...

I truly am thankful and lucky...

[Koala77]

Welcome back Moi!

I'm so sorry to read that you and Moss have been sick. I hope you've both recovered now.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading about E and J. Thank you for inviting us into your home, and introducing us to your grand children.... and welcome to the world of little ones by the way!

I enjoyed reading your "diary" as it brought back memories long forgotten, of when my own DD was that age.

Some things never change, and rearing of children is one of them. There are plenty of specialists in the field, and books written on the subject to dispute that, but when it all boils down it's just an abundence of love and guidance that helps to bring the children up properly.

I hope you both have time to enjoy each other now before the next lot of inspections occur, and before the children are returned to you full time.

It's good to see you back posting...... and no longer sleep typing....zzzzz

[Kitty]

Wow.....what a story, Moi! I just got up for a sec to get a drink and thought I'd check in to see who was up, too. Got to reading your posts and 20 minutes later here I still sit!! It's so good to hear from you again. I've missed seeing your posts and funny observations. I enjoyed reading about your adventures with E and J....made me feel like I was right there!! I know you've got your hands full....and God bless you and Moss for stepping in/up and being there for these precious children. I'm not quite sure I'd have the energy to deal with kids again....but you do what you have to, don't you. You find the energy somewhere.

I'm so glad you found a few minutes to post....even if it is in the middle of the night!! You're all in my prayers.

[Alffe]

What memories you've brought back dear man...lot's of giggling and even laughing out loud at reading your posts. I used to say this a lot...because I'm the mother! Once it came out "because I'm MY mother" which really horrified me...my excuse is I was 23 yrs old and had four kids.

And I have two questions...what time does Super Why come on...

and the other question is for herekitty...do you know your avatar has those same kitties going in the opposite direction?

[soxmom]

Thanks for the read Moi , I bet you miss them a leetle bit!!!!nice to see
you here. I cant wait for the next installment!!

[tamiloo]

Hey, Lil Bro...so great to see you posting. I do love the title of your thread...I feel that way as well and my children are grown. Sure do love ya!!

[tamiloo]

Oh, I forgot to give your Moss a hug from me and the Olhipie...

[jaded2nite]

(((Moi & Moss)))

I admire you both! I hope to soon have the same chaos in my life as you have had in yours. As tiring as it is I'm sure you wouldn't change a thing!!

E and J are lucky children to have people that care enough to change their lives for them.

Thanks for Sharing your story it gives me hope for my situation with my GD.

Love to you all
Dottie

[who moi]

hi everyone, thanks so much for your warm responses and I can only say that I am the one that IS in awe...for all of you that have kids, had kids, are taking care of kids....

I don't know how two parents do it, and I absolutely have no idea how SINGLE parents do it. I have NO idea how those grandmas do it...

like k77 said, there are tons of "experts" out there but in the end, it just takes that abundance of love...and a lot of patience which I truly lack but have slowly gained with each day that I was with them...

moss is the one that truly deserves the accolades...she works so hard mon-fri and then have classes on mon and weds and then when she gets back, she insists on taking over and while we split the chores up, it really didn't get easier with two of us with the two kids...

K77, glad it could help jog some of those long lost memories...and you are always welcome in our home.
instead of rearing children, can we just front them and then get our deposits back? LOLOL

herekitty, sorry to have kept you up...LOL It's always great to see you post in our humble forum! You are so right, one just finds the energy somewhere and miss you right back!

Alpho, LOLOL, my gosh, I guess I'll have to post about the constipation sometimes...I learned to jot down little notes toward the end of the night (if I didn't pass out) when they were here, just all the little funny moments...I guess the funny parts have been experienced by all the parents out there in one form or another, but that's why it makes it so funny...

as a non-true parent, I can only imagine the burst of love behind each one of the parents out there that takes care of their kids...

"Super Why" is on PBS and we get two PBS channels with our program. One of them has Super Why on at 8am and then 10am.

The other one has it on 10am and then 1:30pm.
inbetween, there are "Word World" on PBS, Clifford the Big Red Dog, on PBS and then Dora the Explorer and her cousin, Diego. And then there is Kai-Lan(that teaches Chinese, LOL) on Nick Jr.

of course, I also try to read to them and took them to the library, but I'll have to share those down the road...I have really came to like Super Why...I might have to start watching it myself..LOL

soxy mama, I DO miss them a leetle bit....but I have to tell you, I DO enjoy the peace and quiet but there are times when I will crave to hear a little noise or someone yelling for Papo...LOL

I will try to share more in the next few days...I am glad you guys are finding it a fun read, I had thought it would become too long and boring..LOL but it was fun to get them out and relive those moments...great to see you here, btw!

tamilulu sis! Welcome back! I am still finding their tiny socks and tiny undies here and there and I just rethrow them back into the wash load each time just for the heck of it to see if they would multiply. LOL

hoping you are feeling better!

jaded, wow to the soon to be chaos in your life....I ADMIRE you..for your strength and love...

it was tiring...If we do get them perm. I will really need to learn how to manage the times better....and then of course, there are always the unexpected...

the little one will be very lucky to have you...not sure what the circumstances is, but you will be in our heart and thoughts....

and thanks to all for the encouraging emails and PM's and such...

I really really cannot thank you all enough...

((((BIG HUGS))))