[PJAMES]

I have been dancing this dance--going Doctor to Doctor---I get such conflicting info - It really T'ees me off-----These putzes some of them in their Lab coats---Ughh!---

MS is painful--Its NOT---Its MS---Its NOT-----Its a bad back--Its NOT------Your Depressed--That was great--they sent me to the Psychologist---She was like---You have a deep faith---Your active in other peoples lives, helping---You have an everyday hobby-----You need to get outta your pain---That is what has you depressed-------Um Duh---Not to her---She was nice-----like a sister------I went to return and she moved to another State----Then I was depressed------

OK---I get Anxiety attacks when I go to the Doctors-----Not why most think-----Its being a form of a cop----I am in control----I get so frustrated with these people---Some who are very demeaning---IE a surgeon in Beth Israel in Boston-----Rudest man ever------I wanted to deck him------I can't----1 am not strong enough---2 its wrong-------
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Now---My fear is I am going to die or be left in my pain----I am being punished for the Doctors ineptness--------2 years of my life has been raped from me---

I fear without a plan I will NOT see the other side--------And with my anxiety attacks caused from doctors visits---I really do not like to make more appointments---Kinda a cyclical suicide unfortunately------

Again 2 years 4 months ago---I could run 'bout 4-6 miles--Jog well over 10---until I was bored-----225 in weight --little body fat-----Played, hockey ,football and softball-----Hockey and football at a competitive level-----I got injured at work badly-----Then-----Everything went wrong----Plus my original injury wont heal!!!!! Now that is amazing------and frustrating---

What I need is help----Ya no duh----

I need help with a plan of attack------If not---I just know I will die....That is not hyperbol...

I will listen to any and all---Thanks--

[SallyC]

Sheesh, Honey, I am so so sorry, you are in such pain and seem to be getting no help..

My old Neuro was also a Neuro Psych. and he really helped me get through my depression and anxiety issues....mostly with meds, but the right meds for me and that's important. He tried different meds until we found my med.

I know that chronic pain can cause depression but it works the other way....Depression causes pain too!! The right Doc, counseling and Med are out there for you.

Don't give up and I will pray hard for you to find your way..

[Kitty]

I agree with what Sally has said.....they need to find the right combination of pain meds and AD. Do you take anything right now?

Keep trying....don't give up. You mentioned a work injury.....does your employer have any say-so in who you see (or don't see)? Sometimes workers comp doctors aren't much help.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. Please just keep the faith and know that there are lots of people right here on this board that care very much about you and want you to feel better. I'm praying hard for you, too, Pete.

[Riverwild]

Hey Pete,

Sounds like it is majorly sucking for you right now. I'd hug ya but I don't want to hurt you any more than you already are!

I see you are in MA. How about a pain clinic? There's got to be one near you in Worcester, or maybe Dartmouth Hitchcock? Boston?

The very first thing I would do is find a new neuro. That one's gotta go. I'd fill his face with every article on MS and pain that I could find before I left, and advise him to do some CEH's soon. Get your records first before you take him out.

Then I would start the interview process all over. Take all your records from ALL your docs with you. Let them know that you ARE in pain, and that if they are not willing to help you to tell you now so you don't waste your time or theirs. Ask for referrals from everyone you know. Get some input from the NMSS.

I started with a good neuro and he moved. I had a good NP and she moved. It took a long time to find another neuro I could work with (4 different docs) but I found one and I am happy with him. I go to see another PCP next week to interview him. At this point I am using a rural healthcare clinic down at the end of my road, but they keep switching docs in and out of the clinic and I need someone who knows me and what I am going through. Good thing I am not sick very often!

Good Luck and please let us know how it goes. It IS frustrating, but in the end, it's worth the work you put in, cause you get a doc you can live with who actually HELPS YOU!

[lady_express_44]

So you are not dx with MS then?

They should be able to treat you for symptoms, which is about all we get out of having a dx anyway. Some of us live with constant pain, others have found ways (often drugs!) to manage it, and others only get it intermittently. I know how bad it can get, and many times they just "assume" it is the MS. I don't really care, so long as I get what I need to help get me through.

Hope things settle down for you, and you get the support every human being deserves!

Cherie

[PJAMES]

I will start here---I take generic ativan----My anxiety has gone thru the roof so they upped me to--2mg's is that right?---now check this out---On my last DR visit--I did the urine sample----The Doc could find No Ativan----I have been taking it---I think it was 60 minutes that did a show exposing the farce that is Generics---They tested many and found some were fake---some could be lethal etc-----Geez---I came up empty----Wonder why?

OK---Ativan---3x per day---
2 MS contin 30mgs---
Oxcycodone---10 MG allowed up to 6 per day----It doesn't do much-----
My Cholesterol med
Generic Fioricet When needed----I seem to get a headache almost daily in the morning----


This is apart from My Workers comp BS----The Surgeon who did my operation after studying my charts for a bit...Actually called me and told me -he understood why I was not healing well-----That was a relief---Yes-The Comp issue ruined my prior to the injury perfectly good right arm---Shoulder----

I also had muscle relaxers before---they did not work at all-----I went thru--Neurontin---Ultram---Its equivalent----Other types of morphine types----It seems I am getting reactions to more and more meds-------When I had a Migraine that was 7 days old------Could not even move-----The stuff they gave me in the ER---Turned me red---and gave me the worst anxiety attack I have ever exp----I hear that is common---The next time I ER'd it for a Migraine the other stuff did the same----Unless they lied to me-------


This said---I for one year lived on 8oo mg of Motrin----Now I look at 'em and my stomach hurts for weeks-----The pain meds make life somewhat bearable----After living in pain for so long---I can not deal with it------And feel I should not have to----I hear---You will get addicted----OK---great----I am in so much pain---All I did was--Well Nothing-----The meds give me a chance to get in the car and go with my family----Sit at the dinner table---ETC
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Right now--I am awaiting on my Settlement From the Dept...
The Docs agreed I should be retired----No they wont retire my number and hang it from the rafters

My wife took this time to move my kiddo's pretty darn far from me--But still in State----I am to weak to pick that fight---She knew it too---

So I try never to think of the bad---I involve myself in My love Horses---Of course not riding---- I read------ I am devout in my faith so I attempt to help others------I can not attend church----I spend my days alone---Maybe to alone--10 hours --I can not do stairs---so I am put in my reclining chair / couch at 7 and brought to my bed at about 7pm------I have 2 dogs---1 is helpful another is just cute-----But the helpful one gets so nervous when I fall---It gets me upset-----Sometimes she gets so nervous in her hyper movements while I am up she causes me to fall--Ouch==

Maybe I have said to much and muddied my original cry for aid-----

Or maybe I just babbled to talk-----

If so---Thanks for listening to this guy---I appreciate it--------

Thanks folks---I feel as if I am in the old game with Regis---And you folks are My Last Lifeline

[lady_express_44]

I feel so very bad for you, Pete.

Even probably can't help, but I'll send you some anyway.

Cherie

[PJAMES]

I went to the Arnold Pain clinic in Boston---It lived to its name---PAIN no relief------

I keep getting--Probable MS---Definitely not MS----Maybe MS-----

then to hear it takes years for some to get a dx----As you said---I do not care about a dx---I just wanna live---Have some quality---\

I had my 2nd MRI of my head--Many more white spots--Lesions---Lord it depends on the Dr--to what they call them---But I was floored by the advancement---And the medical communities lethargy concerning me---I get more questions concerning my Lawyer than I do my health---I always remind them ---He is my Workers Comp Atty---This is NOT COMP!!

My Grand Mother Passed away from MS--It was long ago----But even for then it was violent-----My Mom has lupus-------She is alive but her life was compromised terribly-----

My Dad'a Dad===My Noots---At 40 he had serious issues with pain--They thought was back----At 50 he passed---------I seem to be in his footsteps----He was a hard headed Italian---He did not go to the Dr----He just wilted from the pain---2 years before my birth---Both My Grand Mother And Noots were gone----

My PCP an earlier one wanted me DX'd and properly treated---That did not happen----But he is not an Opiate type Doc-----Umm--I am not an get high kinda guy either----But I lived with Motrin and then with opiates-----I can live some with the latter---

I have switched so many doctors---My head is spinning---I just need to find one who #1 has compassion #2 understands what it is I am dealing with--- #3 Helps me-----

To End----I had one Doc---Who was a lazy PCP---my last visit--tell me--He does not know how to manage pain----Find a new doc--------When my last script was up---I spent 3 days in Hell---Detox---Pain like I can't even begin to explain---How I did not Kill myself those 3 days was a miracle in its self-------I am still going to make a case to the Medical board for that----

Babbling again---Thanks for listening with your eyes---Thank you for you insight help and prayers..--I need those..

[Koala77]

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this Pete. I wish there was something I could do to help you through, but we both know there's not.

I commisserate with you on the chronic pain. I have chronic Optic Nerve pain, so I sure know what you're talking about. I don't think there's much worse than nerve pain, and whether you have a definite diagnosis or not, your pain doesn't know that.

I hope your spirits lift soon as you seem to have an awful lot to contend with right now.

Sending you some hugs, as I'm sure that knowing people care must at least be helpful in some way. I know it helps me.

[lady_express_44]

So do the lesions/white spots not appear in the "right" areas of the brain, or are they the wrong size/shape?

Have they given you any ideas of what they might be, if not MS?

Is the pain from "whatever" this is that ails you, or from your WC situation? (Sorry, had to ask... ).

Cherie