[SweetP]

I was recently told that I suffer from a victim mentality. I am self examining right now because my life is certainly not going the way I want. I was laid off from my second job in a year due to my poor performance and attendance due to MS. I am in foreclosure. I am unemployed and seeking employment in my home. I recently lost a three year boyfriend who cannot deal with my illness and I just feel like ****. Help!! I have always thought I was a positive person, but now I am not sure.

[doxiemama]

SweetP,

You are not suffering from victim mentality!!!! You have had so many things happen to you in the past year that if I was in the same position as you I would feel like a victim too. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. It takes a special person to understand all that is involved with living and loving a person with MS-but they do exist. As far as your symptoms go-stress, which is what you are going through, definitely makes your symptoms worse.

First, I'm glad you found us, NT is a wonderful place, full of wonderful and supportive people. You are not alone.

Check with you local MS for resources and support. I have always felt that having a friend with MS to share experiences and fears with is so important.

You might want to consider applying for disability. I know it's hard to do, I did it last February. Talk with your neurologist.

I know it's easy for me to say, but try to count your blessings. You may have to look for them first.

I hope I didn't sound preachy. When I read your post I thought to myself- I don't know how I would cope with all that you are going through. Don't be too critical of yourself.

Hang in there!!!

Hugs from Doxie

[SweetP]

Originally Posted by doxiemama

SweetP,

You are not suffering from victim mentality!!!! You have had so many things happen to you in the past year that if I was in the same position as you I would feel like a victim too. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. It takes a special person to understand all that is involved with living and loving a person with MS-but they do exist. As far as your symptoms go-stress, which is what you are going through, definitely makes your symptoms worse.

First, I'm glad you found us, NT is a wonderful place, full of wonderful and supportive people. You are not alone.

Check with you local MS for resources and support. I have always felt that having a friend with MS to share experiences and fears with is so important.

You might want to consider applying for disability. I know it's hard to do, I did it last February. Talk with your neurologist.

I know it's easy for me to say, but try to count your blessings. You may have to look for them first.

I hope I didn't sound preachy. When I read your post I thought to myself- I don't know how I would cope with all that you are going through. Don't be too critical of yourself.

Hang in there!!!

Hugs from Doxie

Doxie: Thanks so much. I have always been told that I am a very positive person and someone who lifts others up, so this comment came as a blow to me. I am always counting my blessings. I started something after I was diagnosed and I put it on my refrigerator that says "I thank God for" and then I fill in a few everyday. I have a stack of pens and pencils of different colors and as people visiti and my kid's friends visit they all write in things that they are grateful for. I must say that that has helped. I am a child of the great and living God, so I know that it is all for a reason. Disability... well I am really close to doing that but it means living with my mom for two years while I apply. She is 86 and that would be hard for her. I know I would feel better, but I have two children to support. I am a divorced mother of two teenagers. I thought I was doing ok, until this comment. I just want to make sure that I am not whining too much. Thanks. This site has really helped me.

Hugs.

Sweet P

[weegot5kiz]

well its hard to be positive with that much carp going on, I know i am assuming but maybe talk to doc about something for anxiety to help ease that edge and allow you to focus your energy and strength elsewhere, it does seem to pour when it rains, sorry your going through so much hang in there SweetP

[Kitty]

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. It's hard to be positive when negative things are coming at you from all sides. My advice is to concentrate on one thing at a time....don't try to fix everything at once.

Also, look for the positive in each situation (that's a HUGE challenge sometimes!!) Take this time that you're single to concentrate on yourself. Do things you want to do.

I've had to leave my job of 15 years just this past year due to MS and that was really hard. My husband passed away before I was dx with MS....so I had to deal with all of that dx drama by myself. It was hard but it sure did prove to me that I'm a stronger person than I thought I was!

Anyone who would tell you that you have a "victim mentality" has evidentally not encountered much strife in their life. I think we are all "victims" of something at some point in our lives. To say that you have a "victim mentality" is a huge assumption because no one really knows what someone else is actually feeling.

Frank's suggestion for something for the anxiety is a good idea. That may help you get into the mind frame of changing some of the things that you have control over. Don't push yourself too hard or try to change too many things at once or you'll just feel defeated.

I sure do hope that things get better for you.