[steffi 001]

Hi everybody,
Haven`t been here for a few weeks so still catching up with all the news.Have been ill with a tooth abscess....now on third batch of penicillin ....and am slowly recovering from the shock of seeing my face turn into Shrek!!!! No kidding,they could have modelled that character on me,my face was sooooooooooooo swollen. My sister took one look at me and said it was as if I had gone through a dodgy plastic surgery op!!!! Truly...we normally walk the dogs together in broad daylight but she wouldn`t let me frighten the neighbours,so on went the balaclava [if you don`t know what a balaclava is in the states then i`ll explain.It`s like this knitted hood thingy that completely covers your face except for your eyes,nose and mouth.And if you are really trendy you cut holes for your tabs [ears ] to pop out of.And SHE thought THIS was better than folk seeing MY FACE?!!!!! I looked like I was about to mug someone.So I ended up causing a fracas and total hysteria in my village anyway.Even the dogs took one look at me and bolted,tail between their legs and yelping with fright.Oh boy...did I feel sorry for myself.

Anyhow...that`s where I`ve been hiding but I`ve just replied to a private mail and included this quote which got me thinking;

"We do not remember days,we remember ,moments.Make each moment worth remembering."

And I want to remember this moment.I woke up one morning a short while ago to find my husband just gazing at my face [pre abscess!] lol. [He made me wear a bag over my head during abscess time!!!]
And he said he`d been watching me sleep and had been thinking of all the things he fell in love with me for pre Parkinsons and realised that he loved me for even more things since my disease.He said he loved what I had become through coping with my condition. And you know what.In those few minutes I felt as if I was the richest ,luckiest most loved person on the planet.
Don`t misunderstand me,through choice none of s would opt for this debilitating and frightening condition.But I wouldn`t swap that moment for anything.Those few words...that simple recognition of my fight and battle with this bugger of an illness...gave me the yummiest,most regal feeling in the world.And when I read posts here,I guess we can all see "a perfume that has risen from the ashes."

Just needed to share that with you. I wish you all a memorable "moment " sometime today.

Now.... I think I will revert to being ,my bolshy,grouchy,miserable,whingeing,whining old self. lol

x

[steffi 001]

No-one has gone *&^%$£" over my "bugger" word on this site.How COOL is that!!!
hmph.

[AnnT2]

Hi Steffi

What a wonderful tribute to your husband and your marriage. The anecdote was simply written and certainly displays your sense of humor in dealing with a temporary situation, but I bet that your light approach helps you many times when dealing with PD,

I was struck by the hood thing. Somehow you and your sister found a way to go out and face the world, and although there is no hood to disguise Parkinson's, I am sure you will just as bravely deal with Parkinson's, a situation which certainly requires courage. Humor helps too.

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. I am not thankful for the Parkinson's intruder in my life, but this morning I feel semi-agile, have very little pain, and look forward to a dinner with my family. For today at least, I am going to deny Parkinson's, as much as possible, access to that feast.

Thanks for your narrative.

Ann

[paula_w]

Steffi,

Isn't that what terrorists wear? lol....Happy Thanksgiving....and I am not cooking...yippeee.

Paula

[steffi 001]

Yep Paula it is...That`s what had them all running for the hills.Bad enough wearing one when you are healthy and can walk straight...but imagine..weariing one and lurching like Frankenstein...stiff legs,stiff arms.
It was like Hyperventilation Valley here that night in my village. lol
Good job the winter sunshhine doesn`t cast great looming shadows too...or else I think the image might have killed off half the village residents with fright.I wondered why my sister was trying to shove me in the car at the speed of light.She nearly took my ears off!
"sTEADY ON" I cry...."Parkies don`t bend in this mode" as she levers my spragged limbs into the seat.
"Why have you blacked out my window" asks I,blinking with bewilderment through my two tiny peep holes.
"Good for the dogs" she replied but I knew she was telling a WHOPPER...LOL

Well there you go.Another memorable moment....ha ha ha .

Ann...Thanksgiving? How lovely.Thank you too for the lovely reply.I think everyone here is damned courageous and believe me,this time last year I was in a dark place so it is nice to have emerged brighter,more optimistic,and with a marriage that has weathered the storm.All I can hope for is to encourage as we all do,and tell it like it is...and in my case,it is mainly catastrophic.I attract it...lol

Hope you have had,a terrific relatively painfree day with some precious moments to reflect on.In the face of adversity hey?
Thinking of you
x

[K Hamilton]

Steffi:

I expect the reason that no-one objected to "bugger" is that few of us over here know what it means - I do, but I am not going to explain it here

Actually, the only thing I couldn't translate into Americanese is "whingeing". I used to think that it was an alternate spelling of "whining", but since that word is next in the list, whingeing must mean someting else. A combination of "whining" and "cringing", perhaps?

I had noticed that you are in a much better place this year - I was really quite concerned last year - what do you think the curative factor was? Time? Meds? Counseling? Braintalk? Staying away from all of these?

How is your recovery from your stint as Frankenstein's monster? Sounds really painful, though you haven't said much about any pain.

[EnglishCountryDancer]

Whinging in engilish over here is usually what children do:they go on and on in a whining voice about something .This is usually something they want and you are not prepared to buy but it can be complaining about a hurt.In my book to say somebody is whinging is not very nice

By the way in this part of england we eat pasties:they are a special form of pie.I mention this as it always causes non U.K residents a laugh.

[EnglishCountryDancer]

Whoops.I have reread the original posting .To be self derogatory like that shows what a wonderful sense of humour you have in adversity .No wonder your husband loves you.But you do not whinge and whine because in my understanding of the words you only do that over minor complaints not chronic illness What a wonderful sense of humour you have.

[steffi 001]

Hello...how lovely to meet with you again,albeit via text. Ah.....bugger. Well shamefully, it is my favourite expletive for enforcing a point.I guess I should apologise for my language but hey....it is my one perk from having to deal with this disease.Although Christian...[ahem] I advocate that each and everyone of us has a good,solid swear word that can be called upon to vent with.Whoops...that`s my street credibility down the pan I think.lol

Whingeing; same as whining.Needless to say I hope these aren`t permanent tags for me. I rarely whinge but it just seems to fit nicely with whining so....

I am indeed in a much better place.Thank you for noticing.And you,may I add were a wonderful support to me thus partly responsible for my healing.You know Kris,tthat was the biggest shock to me,when I hit the deck,as up until then I had coped so very well,always bright and breezy then Wallop.And it truly was a dark dark period of my life where every single facet was affected.
It hit me like a brick...mainly clinical depression I guess which may have fuelled other areas to bomb .
The curative factors...Many many many;
Antidepressants...not the main saviour I hasten to add,but helped stabilise me.
Counselling; a lovely lovely woman who just allowed me to spill.
My wonderful family; not least my husband who made a concerted effort to understand what was going on.He made the choice to work alongside me...so very very difficult for our carers I think.
The brain talk community; whose constant support,love and understanding without judgement,allowed me to vent,question,weep,and all the rest.
How very precious this support network is.
And lastly,but not least,my faith which sustained me through the darkest hours...
My God..this is reading like an oscar speech...YIKES. sorry.

But there you have it. And I guess my quirky sense of humour which was well flattened but nevertheless still there.

just so good to know I have come through it and able to say to others...there`s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Frankenstein-balaclava-pain. I say very little about pain as like so many here,it is with me always...in varyin g degrees and managed by painkillers which I take every day.Knocks the edge off but it is lkike a clock ticking.It`s there but you learn to live with it.The worst pain I get is first thing in a morning and last thing at night when my left foot contorts and my toes try their damndest to reach my knees.Horrible,extremely agonising and I just have to wait for it to stop.Do they call that dystonia.Oh there are so many words to remember..lol

So...lovely to talk to you...hope you are doing ok.
Steffi
x

[steffi 001]

Sorry...your post must have come in whilst I was replying to Kris,so I truly didn`t mean to ignore you.I find that I get by and deal with Parkinsons by seeing the funny side of things.Having said that I DO have my Pity parties which are few and far between I hasten to add.I am always aware that not everyone is in the same place as me and may see this as flippant,but it is not intended that way and I appreciate that there are those who,quite rightly,don`t feel like laughing it off.Believe me,I could "kick the cat off the heharth" on days when I am desparate to accomplish a task but where my body won`t allow it.The frustration does build but it`s all about coping strategies isn`t it.My humour most importantly,serves the purpose of making other folk comfortable around me when they meet me.It is so difficult I think for others to understand and deal with this strange condition,therefore when I draw fun at myself I see them sigh with relief and smile.And that pleases me.

Pasties!!! Great!!! What fun language is,and so interesting to compare to other countries.In the states I remember saying Cheerio to someone and they looked at me clueless...until I realised it was a breakfast cereal over there[before it hit England] No wonder...it would be like us saying goodbye to someone but saying "Weetabix...or Shreddies" na na na na na
x