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Old 02-03-2009, 02:02 PM #1
Curious Curious is offline
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Heart Suicide Touches Everyone

It really does.

You may have lost a family member, friend, neighbor, old school classmate, tried youself, a relative of a friend or co-worker...a celebrity you idolized, a ball player....

What about sitting down and watching the news? A 7 yr old walks in the room as the reporter annouces that a man commited suicide after killing his family? You then have to explain suicide to a child. That suicide touches everyone who watched.

The elephant is in the room. I am glad it is.

My elephant is one who never forgets. Has the memory of an elephant.

Not some big thing in the room that no one sees.

No, this elephant learned at a young age what suicide is.

This elephant learned that if you give it just a weee bit of time, the rainbow will appear. The kitty will purr and the birds will sing. Yes, the rain and the clouds will come, but they replenish the earth and our souls. Life begins again. A new day.

I know some have not been sure they belonged on this forum. If they should even post. They read and read.

Suicide touches everyone. We all belong. I wish we didn't.

We post and let the hope of a new tomorrow be known, to let it be known that we are here, that we will listen, that we care, that love is real and the pain will ease.

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Old 02-03-2009, 03:34 PM #2
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I threatened to kidd curious about everyone being touched by suicide but I know what she means. Completed suicide has ramifications that are so far reaching that I don't want to kidd about them.

All of us has a story...we can share it or not..but we learn from each other..we learn what not to do and what to do when we are touched by it. I'm still learning after all these years and some of it suprises me.
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Old 02-03-2009, 03:38 PM #3
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It really does touch everyone. My late sister's ex-husband committed suicide 26 years ago. She was devastated for herself and their three children who were teens at the time.

Then my sister died two weeks later from a ruptured aneurysm. Coincidence? I don't think so. And her oldest three kids lost both parents at once. I felt so bad for them that I felt guilty to grieve. Now finally, after all these years have passed and they're adults, I try to calm their memories. Telling them that I remember how much their Dad loved them although he'd been a mostly absentee father. I remember the love in his eyes when he'd see them, and the regret when acknowledging that he wasn't doing enough. He was flawed but he loved them. They didn't seem to remember the love.

They're all finding peace. Finally. I wish I'd had the maturity and wisdom to make it happen earlier for them.
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Old 02-03-2009, 03:55 PM #4
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Thank you for sharing that Wiz...I so agree with your thinking that her death was not a coincidence. What those kids had to deal with. So glad to read that they have found peace...sometimes it feels like peace with never come. Do they discuss suicide with you?
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Old 02-03-2009, 04:08 PM #5
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That's beautiful, Curious.
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Old 02-03-2009, 04:45 PM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe View Post
Thank you for sharing that Wiz...I so agree with your thinking that her death was not a coincidence. What those kids had to deal with. So glad to read that they have found peace...sometimes it feels like peace with never come. Do they discuss suicide with you?
Yes, my oldest niece was sharing that she was close to suicide following her parents' death. The kids were teens (13, 15 & 17) and I was a new mom with babies in my early twenties. They didn't like hanging out at my house, wanted instead to spend time with friends.

If I knew then what I know now maybe I could have done more. I love those three so much. They all consider suicide to be a copout and would never do that to their own loved ones. We sometimes touch on the topic at family get togethers. They're very close to each other but really miss their Mom especially since she raised them.

I know the man was in pain but he could have sought help. I don't know what made him do it but it really did cause a lot of pain. He'd had gambling and drinking problems.
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:06 PM #7
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I'm so sorry for all of them..sorry he felt the need to end his life...sorry your sister had to live that nightmare before her own death and the kids have that awful legacy. It's painful to have to explain when people ask about their loss. I think you've been a wonderful Aunt to them for all these 26 years.
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:07 PM #8
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It is true Curious...My great grandfather took his own life when I was
12 years old. His son , my grandfather tried twice but was unsuccessful.
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:19 PM #9
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Sox I'm sorry. Did you know, at age 12, that he died by his own hand?
It's so common to hide this information from family members.
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:54 PM #10
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ugh..my modem is acting up, so replying is taking forever.

Sox, same type of family history with me. I found out the truth the summer that I was 12.

Wiz, those kids are blessed to have your mom and you, plus the family for support. No children should have to suffer such grief.

Alffe...you know you are going to tease.

Suicide may not touch everyone in the same way or as strong. But it does touch.

As I stated, some people haven't known if they fit in here if wasn't a direct family member. Suicide touches everyone.

Not everyone feels ok to share their personal story or stories. That is ok. There aren't rules about that. I don't for personal reasons. Not all of my family knows, some don't care to and other want to keep it hushed.

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