[mistiis]

All in the world I am doing here is starting this because I feel that it is important. Whether it is suicide or terminal illness, people don't want to talk about it. It is simply not 'comfortable.' But, we will all face it in one way or another. So, please, feel free to express yourself....

[mistiis]

LOL...here I am replying to my own post. Maybe it will give everyone a jump start:

"There is death in life, and life in death."

Yeah, its mine.....

[Curious]

I'm sorry I just thanked you for starting the thread. I could let you alone to talk to yourself.

I just got horrible news. Right across the street from me last night was a murder suicide. 3 dead. one wounded. A toddler found safe.

Hubby and heard all the sirens. Police, ambulances, fire trucks.

Right next door to one of my old employees.

[mistiis]

I am so sorry dear Curious (((lots of hugs))) sending you some prayers and strength. TG the toddler is safe! Only to have to try to make sense of it later in his/her life.

Sounds like it hit pretty close to home. All the more reason to talk about it. And all the more reason to get the elephant out of the closet. I am holding you close.
Take your time and know that we are here for you...

[who moi]

Originally Posted by mistiis

"There is death in life, and life in death."

Yeah, its mine.....

dear friend...I agree with you...

it's easy to walk around some times and feel lifeless....

When my dad first died...my mom told me that she wanted to die too...it really shocked me...

they never really got along while he was alive....but at the end, I saw her working two jobs and taking care of him...

I think that was the first time we discussed deeply about suicide thoughts...and the feeling of walking around where there are no emotions...

no smiles, no anger, no laughter, no tears...just blank...

life in death....how true...I started to garden after his death. I couldn't touch "dirt" because it was dirty...

but then I learned how to plant...

the first time I dug my hands into that soil and felt something moving...and felt that life where the soil represented death to me before because my father is part of that earth now...

it was a nexus that sent glows all over me....

And therein lies that balance, my favorite word in the world...

I think a great way to get rid of "Elephantitis" is to talk about it...

Originally Posted by Curious

I just got horrible news. Right across the street from me last night was a murder suicide. 3 dead. one wounded. A toddler found safe.

*sigh......

[gardengrl]

Originally Posted by mistiis

LOL...here I am replying to my own post. Maybe it will give everyone a jump start:

"There is death in life, and life in death."

Yeah, its mine.....

Thank you for starting this..I have read a few others that are trying to talk about death, but like you said too many find it hard. But not me! My kids & I talk and we have actually worked out most of the details for our funerals & such.

Sound too weird? I admit that I am...But after my accident I was told I would die. My kids & family were sorta prepared. But thru the Grace of God I made it. Towards the beginning of my recovery I hurt sooo bad! I WANTED to die..Plain & simple. I had it all worked out. I thought I was acting Unselfishly for my children. I talked to them about it. I tried to convince them that they Would be better off without having a crippled, Brain dead mom who would never walk or be able to earn a living anymore. You know...the whole 9 yards.

Long story short, my DOG saved me. I knew everyone would care for my kids, but my little pain in the butt, yapping mini schnauzer...no way! he loved me so much. So I had to stay around. I VERY happy I did. Who would have known that I could have this life now.

All the Dr.'s were wrong, All the Neuro's were Wrong! I can walk, talk, learn, & help others.

Death is a part of living. It is the only thing that is sure to happen. One day I got a notebook & then called all the family. I told them this was their Death Wish Call. I wrote down everyones wishes, from which type of service if any, right down to what kind of flowers if any. Of course they all think I am nuts but who cares. My kids will come to visit & say to each other, I want THAT when mom dies, & then they ask me.lol....I love it!

It has become very easy to talk about in my family...except with my mom, who is a paranoid schizophrenic & thinks I am planning her demise.

[who moi]

welcome to SOS and what an addtion you are to our family, gardengirl...

I have to get going here but I wanted to give you some (((BIG HUGS))) and say that thanks so much for sharing your story...

a POSITIVE one...

*bigsmile...

[da duck]

Wes and I always talked about death, what could happen, what should happen, what we wanted to happen. We even argued about it...he didn't want a funeral and I refused to deny his mother the goodbye I was sure she would want. Once a year we went through everything...all the paperwork and phone numbers and contacts, and we made sure that we knew where everything was kept. We talked about what we thought came after death and how the other would get along...
Wes died. It was devastating. I couldn't think....but I didn't have to. I knew where everything was, who to contact and had all the information I needed at my fingertips (except my marriage license and that is a story for a much more lighthearted thread). All I had to do was decide on the memorial service ( which we did have and his mother to this day does not know how we used to argue about that) and choose an urn for his ashes. I knew everything else.
And, out of those conversations, came the one thing that kept me going...and sometimes still does. He said to me " I did not marry you because you need me. I married you because you DON'T need me. You can do it on your own, you can go on if you have to. I married you because you want me..."
Sometimes those words ring through when I think I will never get by. Of course I will...Wes knew that and I do too.
Talking about death as a real thing is important here...my son and I do it now. For me it helped to know...
and it helped not to have to guess.

[Koala77]

Welcome to SOS gardengrl

Curious, I'm so sorry to read about what happened in your street. Thank the Lord that the toddler wasn't hurt.

When I was younger this type of violence was rare. Now it seems there's violent death everywhere we look now.

I just finished watching the news on the TV, and a teenager has gone on a killing spree in Germany....shooting dead 10 people. Also a similar thing happened in Alabama. The perpetrator also shot 10 people!

Why do people think that death is the only way out?
Why do they feel they have to kill to get their point across?

I've been close to death twice now, and it certainly changes your perspective on life.

[Curious]

It really does Anne.

The schools here already have counselors set up to deal with this situation. The one lady killed also had a 12 yr old daughter, who thankfully wasn't at home.

It's a toss up. Does talking about it in schools make some kids glorify these acts? Or are they gong to get enough of the "right" info, so these murder/suicides stop?

I wish they would never tell the name of thes shooters. Never give them fame in destoying so many lives.

It makes me angry. Sad. Scared.