[who moi]

I sincerely apologize, I haven't been to NT for awhile now...I made a conscious decision to semi,,,wait...no, 9/10th retire from the forums because
I wanted to learn to be a good father to our two new members to our family.

And as we all know, the forums can become quite addicting as well as
time consuming.

I have even been afraid to lurk, simply because I know that I wouldn't be able to help myself and would get tempted to come in and type something.

But it's like chips, you can't type just one(to one post, that is)

I feared that I won't be able to say enough (because we all know that I've got a big huge mouth. LOL) and that I would forget about the kids and then that I'd find an excuse to put them in time-outs longer or more often just so I could post (OK, I am joking for those that don't know me, LOL).

It was painful, but I deleted NT from my favorites....

when moss told me that there was a thread here for me, I came that night and read it and I was really choked up...

It was also a night that I happen to be in a lot of pain. I sat and wondered about a lot of things....

and to come here to have read the thread...

it conjured a lot of emotions that I didn't know I was holding back....but most of all, it IS my heart that IS so deeply touched, to this day still...

I have been working on this post for about two weeks now (if you want a boring explanation, read this part, if not, skip to the next part. LOL
my hands are to a point that I am not able to type very good anymore where something that would usually take me a minute to post, would now take me about 20 minutes. But hey, no excuse...ya know? )

and I kept on working at it and just don't think I am able to say all that I wanted to say but here it is...

~~~~~~~~

Life is a funny thing, it is not straight forward and is full of twists and turns. Yet, a lot of people, myself included...think in a linear way.

We never really think that things "happen" to us. We hear it happening to others, but some how, I think a lot of us, if not all of us, don't
really think that "things" do happen, until it happens.

about 10 years ago, I decided to start taking care of my body, my temple. I decided I wanted to make a life style change so that I can
stay as healthy as I am able to. It wasn't easy, but eventually, I got to that point.

That road was not walked alone by myself...


10 years ago, I was a bitter person. I felt jaded and jilted by life and all around me. I was enveloped by anger and self-abhorrence.

but almost 10 years ago, I found the forums...while the format and the "address" has changed throughout the years, I have traveled with some
long lasting companions as well as the continuum of adding the new folks.

If life is a big ole puzzle, then, the friends that I have met through the forums have been the pieces that I had been looking for...

You all have each been an incredible piece to this puzzle in my life. Some of you struggle mentally, some of you struggle physically, some of
you struggle with both or more. But each one of you are around. Brave souls, reaching out and touching lives and maybe NOT even realizing it.

I have transformed from this bitter former self to the better because of your stories, of your lives, of what you are/were willing to share.

each unique situation yet you all share a common ground. You all are heroes.

It is hard to "talk about it in the open". Especially when in a forum setting where hundreds if not thousands of people read.

Yet, there you are, out there, sharing your pain and your triumphs and doing it so in the open. You may not have realize it but you definitely
have touched lives. I know that MINE is touched.

I take notes, I am the perpetual student. I do and want to learn. And I have...

some of you share through humor, some of you share it through your tumors.

some of you share it through pain, some of you share it in the rain...

through all the rainy, stormy, squally weather (note, I didn't say WETHER, LOL), there is always a sunshine or rainbow in the end (but
if you were wether, then a couple of ping-pongs...LOL)

If I was going through what I am going through now, 10 years ago. I would probably not have survived this far, and you would probably hear
me cussing out life and trying to take it with me down under (not Australia, mind you...)

but, surprisingly, I am dealing with this in a different light...

don't get me wrong, I have my moments of self-defeat...but most of all, I have been fine with it...

I was quite surprised with myself at my "outlook" toward this thing. I should be bitter, I should be angry, I should be sore and hateful...

but I am not...

a big part of that is that because many of you have shown me, through the years, through your life, on how you have dealt with it.

Some of you are on wheel chairs, some of you immobile. Some of you use walkers, some of you use cane (to sWhack moi with).

but all of you, live with pains...

and there you are...living...yes, you have your bitter moments, but it makes you human and it lets me know that it's OK to whine and gripe, sometimes.

but always, you triumph over it, and you show me how you do it. And I am sure it isn't just me. This IS the world wide web after all and many read(lurk)
here...

at this very moment...I am a different person than I was, 10 years ago...because of the road that I have traveled...and a big part of it
was through the forums (from old mgh to bt to now nt, and all the ones inbetween)...

and somewhere in that journey, I've gained a lifetime partner that I could only have dreamt of...and she has been my rock...

I am quite at ease and peace...I am not afraid of death...

I AM afraid to become "disabled"...and that was the self-defeating moments that I had been living...when picking up a carton of milk
has become difficult, I wondered about my ego and how that would affect me. I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

But I also know that I will only be a burden if I only think of myself as being one. Many of you have shown me that here....

and I work it out...and at the end of the day, I am OK again.

Life really is good even though I am in this condition...

I am the happiest I'd ever been in my life. I am extremely satisfied. No, it's not perfect yet so perfect that I can't ask for anything more.

I am growing to love two kids that we are adopting. I have an awesome wife. And I have awesome friends, both on line and physically.

The outpouring has been stupendous..and I wonder sometimes, how did I get so lucky???

If I should not make it in this surgery. I would be fine. Because in this short time of contentment, I have lived only what many could search a life time
for that could not reach...

And while another 40 years would be nice (and I hope so...), I am glad to have lived such a wonderful life the past few years...

and you guys are a big part of it...

so, backtracking to where I've mentioned about my pain and my whine about not able to type and blah blah blah...

A LOT of you are doing it...you are typing and you are in lots of pain...you are LIVING....

and then, there is moi...whining..yet, learning...so much from you...it is little things like that...that I so appreciate that I have
learned from you all...to NOT give up....

to end this note, I think I'd rather say that life is a big endless tapestry in the works...and each piece, beautifully woven and being
attached is continuously in motion...and I thank you each for being a piece of that artwork...

Poultry in motion if you are a bird. LOL

From the bottom of my heart, and moss's heart, thank you with tons of love...

moi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
btw, to those that were puzzled by my surgery date, I apologize for that. It kept on getting pushed back due to moss's unrelenting diligence to get me the best doctor possible. I was originally supposed to have the surgery in June.

But she kept on seeking out the doctors and bringing me to the doctors (against my will, LOL) and finally convinced me that I have the best doctor possible now to do the surgery. It will be in Augusta, Ga. About 3 hours from where we live. She has been the rock that has been keeping me rolling...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know I really should've alphabetize the names, but I was just picking it out of my head as I was thinking; plus, I am too lazy...

and of course, how can I sum up each one of you in just few mere sentences...yet, I am just a mere mortal with limited brain function and resources when it comes to words.

you all mean so much more to me/us than just the few words, but I'll try to attempt to at least say something because it IS important to me that I let you know, while I can...

and while I know some of the names I mentioned won't even read here, it doesn't matter...because I need to say it....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

alpho, your sharing your pain about Michael has saved my life many times over through the years, it's taught me about thinking about "it" and why we shouldn't do it. Your educating others about and starting the SOS forum has been a life savor. And of course, the countless visits and cooking and fun...you mean the world to us...

cheri (Chemar), your gentle touch as an administrator definitely makes a difference in this here them forum. But your love and kindess
for the members is what stands out. You have one of the toughest jobs, yet you do it so well.

koala77, it's been such a pleasure getting to know you. Your tremendous support and love for us is one that we're thankful for. Thank you so much for the trans-Pacific call the other night. It touched us deeply...

Lara, our other Aussie friend, almost 11 years we've traveled, high and low(literally, I can still remember driving through Oregon. LOL) and here we are here, still...the invaluable lessons and paths through the years and your special insights has had a profound change in my life.

doody, we are still so flattered to have your presence at our weeding. Your love for all creatures, great and small is deeply moving.
and through the years, our humors have offended many yet we still survive, til this day. You have our undying love as well.

ducky, our poultry friend, your Wes moved us, your Dale touches us, and you Wing us...still my favorite l'orange.

soxy(soxmom), it has been such a pleasure getting to know you and becoming friends with you. Your undying support for us is so appreciated and and with every little note and email, we just love you more and more...

scrabbly, we walked a long way, too, didn't we, dear friend? Through all that you've been through, you've risen to the top. And your gentleness and kindness and your artistic gifts and friendship to us has been one that we have treasured so much through the years.

Taffy, I should smack you...LOL but I must tell the truth. You have one of the kindest hearts and one of the most wonderful spirits ('cause you opaque, woman. LOL) around. And your humor is something that I look foward to every time I visit here...

DM, I should smack you also..but everyone knows and love the DM because of your supports to all...and through all your pain and tears..you manage to get lots of laughs out of us along with your partners in crime. Although, the princess' crown is still being debated, a crown should be awarded for your heart...

wiz(ewizabeth), I still want to yell "wizzy" everytime I see your name. LOL your humor is often appreciated and yet it is your friendship and support to us that brings and tenderness to our hearts...

shelley, the other princess, who really hates sheleries, what's not to love about you? You make me laugh, you make me smile, and you are my bud. Although, I think you and DM should have a jello-fight contest(clothings optional) to settle this princess thing once and for all. I'd like to promote it via pay-per view...please contact me...

Jo*mar, or should I say, encyclopedia Jo? LOL always giving so much...I hope you get back as much as you give...always sharing those infos that people are asking and searching for...maybe we can turn you into a google...

vini, dude, you are one of the smartest dude that I know...and one of the most caring...and you have tremendous talent and heart...love ya, bro

Bannet, I was so happy to read a post from you, you have been missed here...with all that you've been through, I've always enjoyed reading your happy times...and how you look at life...I really missed you when you are not around.

BJ, your deep insights that you share through your pain...it's something that I sometime *sigh over because of how deep it is...it's something that I cry over because of how painful it is...but it is something that I smile about
whenever I'd read one of your inspirations or revelations...I hope you keep on keeping on in this hard journey and I wish that your pain eases and that you keep on being strong like you have been, even in those darkest days...

mistiis, a long road we traveled together as well, we lost you for a few years, only to see you emerge stronger, better, and more awesome than ever...moon lits over the river for you, my sweet dear friend...and I am so glad that you've found us again and are now part of our family again...but you never left...truly...

Mrs. D, this is where I would thank you for guiding mistiis back to us. Your knowledge and help to others is invaluable to this here them forum and I am very honored to getting to know you the past year and adding you to one of my dear friends list. I hope you have a wonderful summer vacation...

Abbie, through your pain, through your tears, you emerge strong...your strength is rooted deeper than you know...I am so glad to have gotten to know you, to learn about you and to become friends with you. You touch me with your stories and your pain. And I know you'll keep on fighting and keep going. NO matter how much you want to give up...because I, believe...

doxiemama, thank you so much for the emails and PM's....we so appreciate them and are grateful for your offering to come help us. You've touched us deeply

Goofy, we still talk about Savannah, Olive garden, the blues singers...Scott's success is a testament to the type of parent/person that you are. Maybe you are goofy, but you make our hearts gooey...

Darlene, you always have a kind word to say to the new members, you always have a kind word to say to a lot of the members. And it is unyielding...it doesn't go unnoticed, I assure you...

Ivy2, I am glad to have gotten to know you as well, that memoir you've shared still makes me smile when I read about it. Your wonderful support to us is greatly appreciated

twinks, what can I say, it was great meeting you in person. Thank you for being so sweet, kind, and wonderful to all the moisses...you are a tremendous support to many here and we are grateful and honored to be one of them...

kitty, it was wonderful meeting you in person also. Your kindness and support to many here is greatly appreciated by many and you are of that kind soul that gives, always...

kicker sis, what wonderful memories we have visiting with you. You are one of our heroes...through your pain, you manage to keep your humor. Through your hardship, you manage to keep your spirit up. I am so proud to call you one of my sis...

tamilulu, another sis of mine...you and SandyC share the accolade as paragon for caretakers, the undaunting task of taking care of olhipie while being supportive to many. You're a gem, what else can I say?

aarcyn, my other sis, thank you so much for all those private encouraging talks...you have made much impact to me with your knowledge. And your love and support to us has been sweet to our hearts not to mention
tummies...

tkrik(trish), the cyst...LOL OK OK, the other other sis...great heart, great talent, wonderful sense of humor...if I say great t*ts, many might get offended and not know what I am talking about...(they should read about your memoir than they'll just get a chuckle out of it...)

Bets, my crypto-gram pal...it was such a pleasure meeting you in person as well...although you don't say much here...I know in private, you have been tremendous in your support to quite a few of us...moisses included...

SandyC, as I've mentioned, you and tamilulu sis are the paragon of caretakers...and I still want to see that Ice cream Jesus...your talent and your heart along with your love for that special Jim, who is another hero; fighter that I look up to...is something that really should be written in the books...a love that survives through all...

Sabimax(sarah), what a year it's been, with your sister, with your dad...yet, there you are...showing your love and support to us...in your sadness you've shown your courage...thank you...

DejaVu, I haven't seen you for so long and was I ever glad to see your name around here...I have been wondering about you and if that you are recovering well...you are such an awesome fighter...and you are here through your pain supporting others...you have shown me what it means, to LIVE...no matter how hard it is....

Blessings2you, I love how you think even through the incogfognito. It's those quirkiness that makes me look for your posts that I am sure make a lot of people smile.

COK, can I come sit on your porch?? I hope some day....always those inspirational words and thoughts...always enriching and providential..

mallow haid (BMW), cousin, you are a true warrior...what you've shared in the open and in private erupts tremendous courage...and heart...your humor and your poetic gifts are unique and always valued

blue nurse/purple nurse, my funny friend...love the way you look at life and love the way you laugh...it's good medicine that you dish out...always with a spoonful of sugar...

karousel, your kindness and words are music to our ears like those horses on a stick(LOL) that lingers round and round until we smile...

blue majo, my friend from Mexico...keep on smiling and don't give up...you have a lot to offer...you are fun and talented and have a great heart...find you, which is already there...that we love...

friend2u, thank you for bringing the sunshines and smiles when we're down...

brokenfriend, you're always showing such support for so many...yet, I know you struggle so much with your life. But, you remain faithful to what you believe in and what you must do...thank you so much for all of that...

Dmack, so much wisdom and so raw...you bring another dimension, always, to all the hard subjects...yet, I applaud you always, for sharing them...you are truly a knight..

wren, if only the world knows your story, if only the world knows how much courage it took for you to be where you are today..if they only know...I am honored that you shared with me in private and I am in awe of your strength and courage...I am honored to be one of your friends...

gmsue, I wouldn't trade your wisdom for a million bucks (but maybe for 10 million). Thank you for the advices and heart talks...

angelrsd, through your pains, you find time to send me PM's and inspiration. And share with me the triumphs that you and your hubby went through. I really hate not getting to know you better before my 9/10th retirement, but I hope you know that you already made an important impact in my life....

barbo, I will, one day, paint again...with the gift that you've given to me through Pam...I think of her fight against MS, and I think of your loss and YOUR fight for losing her....in that grief, in finding that strength...I am so glad that you've joined us here and please know that we keep you deep in our hearts...

addy, what can I say, add a lot, 11 years of long road we walked together, also...on a parallel path that we walked, we became twins in our journeys and found ourselves...to read about your road to victory makes me smile for it resonates my own...

jaded2nite, right now, we are on the same path, what a tremendous path you are walking through right now, taking on a precious little life that should've been someone else's job...yet, there you are...doing it...we have such respect and love for you...

nik-key, another warrior, in your lost, of your dad and now Lyn, you have shown many of us what courage means...no matter how painful, no matter how arduous, you showed us that it CAN be done...our admiration and respect for you is immense...and of course
always love...

salpal(SallyC), what can I say, you just make me smile....and you are a true pal...

idealist, dude, you are something else...brilliant in your thoughts and just a burst of goodness throughout. I am so happy for your current path in life and I wish you the very best and happiness for you truly have earned/deserve it...

gardengirl, in the short time that we've known you, you have been so supportive of us with your kind words and thoughts...and in your tough situations you've always made time to take a moment to let us know that you care...we love and care back...

von, I hope people around the world one day will be able to see your talent and what you are doing for those children through your artistic quilts and your generous spirit.

MelodyL, girl, you simply crack me up...I still say your heart is that of innocence and I hope you never lose that no matter what anyone says...and that you remain true to yourself no matter what your neighbor says...keep those Ewetubes coming
and those sprouts growing and those soaps on your ears...

allentgamer, dude, I miss our tech tawks and I hope you are doing great, you probably don't even read here but it's been such a pleasure getting to know you and cracking up with you. I hope to catch up with you again, some day soon and pick at your brain

oldsteve, thank you for those daily jokes...they really can brighten one's day. Even though I don't know you well, I know that you are special and I hope that some special girl finds that Single's ad one day and answers it and answers that special old guy...

weegot5brits, Frank, I don't know where you've disappeared to, but I miss you, my brother...I miss "cutting up" with you...I hope you are doing well and I thank you for being my late night buddy for so many sleepless nights. Send our love to Deb as well, please.

hollym, you always have a kind word to say to me and others. You have been a tremendous support to me and da wife. And I hope things are settling for you now and hoping to one day get to meet up with you when we get up north that way.

braingonebad, thank you for always keeping it real, and you are the deal...LOL

coolangel, there's been so much going on with you lately...but you are in our thoughts and prayers. We're thinking about you...

Polarexpress, your demeanor and positive attitude in the loss of LeAnne is something that I often reflect upon and have learned. It is taking something positive from the negative and living day to day and seizing the moment that you've help me learn...

azyozize, the postcards have been wonderful, the video was awesome, and your wonderful attitude toward life is mostly appreciated.

Debbie D, always those prudent words from you. Always the erudite in you that helps me see.

Finlady, your artworks are amazing, chaotic yet peaceful. Ying/Yang to me. You balance so well in your life through all the hardships. I've enjoyed getting to know you as well.

twokidstwocats, I thoroughly enjoyed our little chats at times. Even though you don't say much, I deeply appreciate the times that you've taken to humor me, my friend.

Cayokay, hope things are going well down there for you in Belize. Your kindness shows in all your posts and it has been fun getting to know you.

ali12, for such a young lady, you have such mature perspectives...you are something else, and I hope you the very best in your ventures in life.

curious, the last sis to be mentioned but not least (but the shortest? LOL) well, monkey, what can I say, you know you are a tremendous force around here them forum. I know things are tough for you right now yet we know that you'll be the one to pull
everyone through...thank you for your love and support through the years even with the fleas thrown in...hoping for the best outcome...

amn, well,nappy..you knew I was going to mention you last...ROFL...and you know I had to smack you...don't change(I know you won't, anyways...LOL), keep on smacking...and you know deep inside, I really value and appreciate you...even when you speak only hindu to me...


I know I will have missed someone, and I hope you will forgive me, it is not on purpose...I could write and write and time is not on my side right now, I must get this posted or I won't have a chance to get it out...but if I missed you, I hope I will have the chance to come back and add you in...

there are also so much more I could say about each and everyone of you, and while the words themselves may be redundant, the meaning doesn't waiver, nonetheless

"love, support, friendship, wonderful" pretty much sums up all of you...

from the bottom of my heart...

moi

[who moi]

thank you all for being parts of my bubbles, as well...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubbly...

My first recollection of effervescence was when I was about five years old. I remembered that my brother and I were visiting our God mother and she offered us sodas.

Now, we grew up drinking nothing but water. No juice, no milk (well, we were breast fed but don't have recollections of those) and once in a long long while, we'd get a taste of soda: Sarsparillas, to be exact. it was one of those rare treats, not only because it was sweet and delicious, but also because I always enjoyed watching the soda foam while it was being poured into a tall glass on a hot summer's day.

As that dark nectar would start to cascade into the glass and the brown bubbles would rise, I often could not wait to to sip up the foams as soon as it was handed to me because I was afraid that I might not get to suck down as much of the bubbles as possible.

My brother seemed to enjoyed it as much as I did and we'd often throw in that satisfied grin toward each other while we sucked down that delicious froth as it tingled and popped in our mouths which would always be followed with goofy laughters. Somehow, the bubbles made us goofy....

Nothing seemed to matter while we sucked down and enjoyed the luscious drinks and all our troubles (if any) were left behind at that moment...

Some years later, sodas became easier and easier to come by for us. The effects of the bubbles seemed to have worn off a bit. But by then, I had discovered blowing into sodas with a straw.

It was a different kind of bubble, one that made the soda tasted nasty pretty quickly as it would lose its fizz. But some how, the bubbles still intrigued me as I would enjoy watching it form in the cup and watched it popping away my troubles into nowhere land...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was one of those days--- mother nature didn't know what she wanted to be. She started with a bit of a darkside by throwing an overcast of hundreds of cotton candy faces that lined the sky, then she let the sun came out for a few minutes but the impish clouds would soon find that was enough and blocked the sun with SPF 3000.

The rain drops chimed in for a few minutes here and there with its cameo appearances but could never seem to upstage any of its breathrens. The winds danced angrily most of the day but did calm itself in bits here and there...

A day of unpredicabilities...

I woke up that morning a bit unstable myself. The little grandson had been waking us up with heartbreaking tears throughout the night for the past couple of nights along with some raining of the bedsheets of his own.

Both da wife (a term of endearment that I call my dear lovely wife) and I had been a bit worn out by him.

But the designs of men and women truly shown during these "tests". A total trooper, she would be the first one to get up to hug, comfort and change him without any complaints and did it all with loving gazes and then she would get up at 5am and head to work after being restless the rest of the night.

All without a complaint.

I tried my very best to hang with her but it must be mother nature's idea to make men the inferior sex when it comes to parenting. Because while I tried my very best, I could never made it through without at least a little mumbling and grumbling.

That morning found me to be in a lot more pain than usual. My physical pains had been advancing a bit quicker than I anticipated. That along with the lack of sleep as of late brought to light another side of me: "Tenebrous Man" , I call him...

I am not a big "Longfellow" fan. His materials were required reading in school and I disquired it after I read it and gave report on it. But there was one sonnet/phrase that I retained through the years: "Over their heads the towering and tenebrous boughs of the cypress/Met in a dusky arch".

I remembered looking up the word tenebrous and said to myself, that's me...and in the years since then, Mr. Tenebrous Man would become my Mr. Hyde to make myself remember that sentence, I changed it to: Over their eggs easy, the towering ten neighbors bought the sod press/Met in Starsky and Hutch".

Maybe it's the day, maybe it was the night before, maybe it was just the way it was. But the kids started that day off less cherubic and more elfinic(wanted to use the word "devilish" but they are too cute to be consider hellions). Unpredicability was the theme that day.

Everything took longer than usual. Teeth brushing found them making paste bubbles while they tried to talk; hair brushing found the follicles fighting and strangling each other by the strands; even tasks as simple as putting the socks on, took on the seams not right on the toes thus creating chaotic moments for the little feet that brought defeat to my hands as I tossed them up in the air while I deeply sighed.

As the weather itself was being whimsically impish throughout the day, all of our moods swung in pendulum arcs along. I found myself short and terse and lacking patience. The kids must have felt that and found themselves in time outs more than usual.

It got so bad that at one point, I had forgotten that I had put one of them in time out and it was only when the other one reminded me that I remembered to go retrieve the poor little shortfellow( he might be Longfellow one day at the rate he's growing).

That day also found us in a bit of catching up with errands and for some strange reason, I would always forget to unbuckle one of them with each stop. What made me even more perturbed was that instead of telling me before I would pull out of the parking space/lot. They would wait until I was well down the road before whomever I'd forgotten to lock up would remind me, "Pappo, you forgot to buckle me..."

Not sure whether to laugh, cry, or panic about getting pulled over by a cop, I'd pull over quickly while glaring at them with big bulging bubbling boiling pupils.

We pulled over to McDonald's and ordered some happy meals . Chocolate milk was part of the deal if they would behave.

On our way home, while they dug into their lunches, I could hear laughter coming from behind me. They were both blowing bubbles into their chocolate milk. I was not sure what it was that made them giggled about it. My first inclination was to ask them to stop because I didn't wanted them to make a mess.

But I hesitated...

And as I listened to their laughters, it was "bubbly" with each blowing sound they were making into the milk bottle. Such simple pleasure from such a simple act. That pure innocence that I had long forgotten. It was something that my brother and I used to do to our sodas...

I felt my anger effervescing and disappearing as I enjoyed their laughters the rest of the way home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not sure when it started but the kids are now finding bodily noises particularly funny. Making gas noises from both orifices had become an endless and longest running joke amongst them.

Of course, they are smart enough to always following it with an: Excuse me !!

But I know THAT "excuse me" was just to cover up the churlish act that they'd just performed.

They'd discovered how to get away with murder. Because we made the mistake of telling them that they need to say excuse me when the burps and flatulences would come and then that it was O.K.

And it is not like they can help by STOPPING it. Because, after all, not even I, an adult, can control those functions.

So now, they have found the trick to dispense these gases without getting reprimanded from us.

OK, I can live with that.

The problem is that ,NOW, I have to say excuse me ALL the time also... for over 20 years, I don't think I'd had to apologize for passing gas or burping in my own home.

But now, I am finding myself saying "excuse me" quite often. And I am finding that quite annoying.

The other issue is that these kids have a super sense of hearing, WHEN IT COMES TO GAS. It's funny how when they are watching TV or playing, they can NEVER EVER hear me when I would call them. Even after a hundred times...no reply.

But try burping or let one rip while I am in the kitchen while they are in their own rooms and they'll come rushing out and say it with a big grin: "Pappo, you forgot to say excuse me!!"

"But you were not in the room!"

"But I heard you!!"

grrrrrrr "Alrighty..." I would hang my head in defeat, "excuse me...." (eyes rolling...)

Of course, we all know that in order to teach children good manners, we, the "adults" have to set good examples ourselves.

So, there was no way out of this one...

BEANO® has now become a regular on our grocery list...because if I have to apologize about 50 times a day again for "bubbling"....I think I would....

....Burst....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was always envious of the kids who could afford the bubbles in our classes. I can remember asking my mother if we could buy some and she would always give us a tale about why we couldn't afford the bubbles.

Whether it was because elephants in India needed them to bathe in and we should save it for them or Turkish folks would need them for their baths. There was always a reason why we couldn't afford to buy bubbles.

One day, I went to one of my classmates' house. He taught me how to make bubbles. He chipped off some laundry soap and placed them in warm water and then added a dash of shampoo (which was also NOTcheap back then) to it and voila, we'd get our own bubbles.

We also made our own straws out of our notebook papers. Although we went through the papers like crazy, we discovered that we could make bigger bubbles by making the cones wider.

I couldn't wait to get back home to show my brother the new trick. As soon as I got home, I dragged him along with the laundry soap. That big brown rectangular block along with my mom's favorite shampoo.

One thing I didn't figure in was HOW much shampoo. So I squeezed what I had thought was an adequate amount (which was nearly half the bottle). We got excited as the spume formed and as it got bigger and bigger, we got more and more excited...

However, when we tried our "straws" with it, we couldn't get any bubbles out. I was thoroughly embarassed and decided to pour even more shampoo in (the rest of the bottle).

By now, that water looked liked the "BLOB" and could swallow us both up. Even worse, we could not blow any bubbles with it.

Disappointed, I dumped it all out into the sink. But when I ran the water to run it down, it started to foam up the sink. I was now scared and didn't know what to do (hold that thought before you say it out loud) and I started to panic.

My brother started to run for our room and I just bursted into tears. (now you can say it, TURN OFF THE WATER, IDIOT!!!!)

Luckily, my mom came home soon at some point after that and turned off the faucet. We got spanked and I never got to make homemade bubbles again.

But I did get to play it at my classmates house, though... He lived in a very tall, towering apartment complex and we were allowed to go all the way up to the roof.

We would take our bubble mix and our arsenal of straws, each one good for about 3-5 blows. And would blow bubbles and watch it travel down.

Rarely, does one make it all the way down but once in awhile, when one would, we would yell and shout out in joy.

Whenever the sun would reflect the bubbles and dress it with rainbow colors, I could feel my heart soar with the bubbles and all my troubles would float away with it until it bursts.

Each bubble carried an agitation, or a smile, or a tear, or simple happiness, all mixed into legions of bubbles each carrying out its own mission. And with each burst, it took us away...somewhere unknown that only happiness was known...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After lunch that day, I was not sure what happened but I started to get a bit moody again, just like the capricious climates outside...

Maybe it was the pain that was getting to me. Maybe it was the haze that I have been feeling as of late.

I cannot seem to concentrate on anything for more than five minutes. Things that would usually take me a few minutes to complete would now take me 10 times more to accomplish. Annoyance seemed my best companion anymore as I could NOT get myself out of this self-disgusted rut...

I stared out the porch as the rain drizzled gently onto the pavement of our driveway. The kids were looking out the porch as well...bored out of their minds because they couldn't go out and play and I was too exhausted to read to or play with them.

The three of us just stared out the screened porch and the two of them started to converse in their own universe. Every little thing was capturing their attentions. From the birds that would come to our feeders to the geckos that was hidden behind the posts.

But I was still quite annoyed even though somewhere deep within, I was quite enjoying their conversation because it was---bubbly...

Our friends, Steve and Katherine, had brought over some bubbles in a long tube awhile back for the kids and I recalled that he told me to use it for "one of those days".
When the rain stopped, those words popped into my head... I got all three of us outside. I took the wand out of the tube and could see a giant soapy film waiting to be born into a bulbous rotound sphere...

As I glided the wand into the wind and multiple giant bubbles began to dance and float and fly into the air...

bubbles of anger, angst, anguish, frustrations and pain...POOF...as they dispersed and popped in the sky...only to be followed by bubbles of laughters that could only be created.....by those with the age of innocence...

[Chemar]

Moi

what a blessing to see that you have been here, and sharing your thoughts with us

your writing brought to mind words from a poem I have always loved

My life is but a weaving between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors that He worketh steadily
Oftimes, He weaveth sorrow and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful weaver’s hand
As the silver and the gold in the pattern He has planned.

Praying for you dear Moi and knowing God is weaving much beauty from all those threads in your life, nomatter how loose or tangled they may at times appear

(((((((((Moi, Moss and grandmoises)))))))))

[Kitty]

Moi

[soxmom]

Moi,

I know how much effort and what pain you endured to leave us your
heartfelt words........

Your friendship is something I treasure and I pray you have a perfect
journey thru your surgery and recovery...I pray you get the relief you
so deserve.....I pray your family has the strength to get thru this with
you...I pray for your two adorable little rugrats

[bobber]

Hey MOI
"Your a poet and dont know it"
And you surly dont show it"
because your feet are "Londfellows""
Good to hear you doing good ,,,,,,bobber

[tamiloo]

Hey, little bro...just one more hug? I know this picture isn't of you and I but it were you would know that you are loved by your big sis!!!!

[Nik-key]

[ewizabeth]

Moi,

You're like the adored baby brother of a large family. We always look forward to your appearance, no matter how brief. You make us all smile. We're always just happy to see you. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers. I want your surgery and recovery to be record breaking... to be so good that the doctors can't explain the wonder of it all.

We miss you but we appreciate your communications whenever you have the time or energy to check in.

[Twinkletoes]

Dear Moi, what can I say? You are such a special part of this forum. Wiz is right: whenever you pop in, you leave a trail of happiness and smiles in your wake.

Love U, miss U, praying 4U. Be well, my friend. My God bless and keep you safe during your surgery and throughout your recovery.