Keep talking and let us know how we can help you.

donna

I hope this day finds you better than yesterday. I am glad you want to go seek some help. We all care about you and hope you will feel less anxiety. Just going forward to get the help is a big step and we are with you in spirit. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Keep coming back to the site for love and compassion. ginnie

Thank you all for the support. I know my cutting off from the world is not a solution but i am struggling to get to a place where i can be accepted or i accept myself the way i am and I dont think negative. I feel that is the most important part of a healthy life but now and then some doubts pile up and I feel that i let my self dragged down. I know there are so many people who want to see me happy and healthy and I appreciate it so much and wish all of you the best also.

when will you be able to seek medical attention? ARe you afraid to start meds again? they might really help you.
bizi

I get really worried about going to a psychiatrist specially telling my family that I want to see one. Looks like everyone might think I m week or tell me that I dont need to. I will see how things go this week as i m planing to go home and if I am still having this much anxiety then I know I have to. The other thing is that I can get hold of serequel/klonopin on my own also which makes me want to self medicate, but i know that I have to re visit a professional in order to have my life a bit in working order. I have been thinking that my paranoia might be stemming out of a couple of things that i went through a long time ago and then almost 6-7 years ago. i think i really get afraid of the stigma of what some people might label me as. I guess something to talk to with my therapist.

your family doesn't need to know that you are taking medications especially if they are judgmental...you are an adult I presumme and can function with out their approval...maybe there is a sibling that you can confide in?
good luck and keep posting.
bizi

Hello there,

I understand you and can relate to what you are describing/feeling...

I agree with what has been said... You need meds... they will help you... About family, dont tell them... they wont understand... My family dont get it either... It hurts, but we came alone to this world, and alone we have to survive...

About the fear feeling... I feel fear most of the times... Im working on it... sometimes I just let it go... if I focus on dont trying to feel fear, I feel more fear... If that make sense...
Let your feelings flow... ride the wave and, take some meds, they help...

Much love.

We are here to listen, root for you and try to help.

Feel better tomorrow !

well its pretty hard for me to not tell , firstly because sometimes i feel that others know what i am doing (my paranoia part , secondly i think most of the times that i m in some kind of therapy and there are people keeping an eye on what i do (again my paranoia part , you might be laughing now , i know i am, its kinda funny.. but during and after my diagnosis certain things happened that led me to believe that I am being monitored because i have these psychological problems.. so its very very hard for me not to say what i do or planing to do specially w family or work environments. I know my family is supportive but i think the way they want me to handle this is by not using a therapist but trying to keep busy. But I have trouble deciding upon what I should concentrate on and end up doing nothing. I think meds with therapy is what I need though. I will try.

they are wrong.
my opinion.....

I again want to thank all of you for your advice and support.. i appreciate it a lot and specially knowing that you might have gone through worse or are going through some of the things i am going through and still are out there offering support. Love you all.