[Mari]

Originally Posted by OhKay

I left a lot of detail in the message, and she decided the situation wasn't important enough to warrant speaking to me, and she hasn't called to check up on me.

I'm safe, so I kinda feel like **** it until I see her Monday.

Sorry. I hate waiting for the other side of the weekend.

(My anxiety creeps up even if the condition does not.)
Take care.


M

[bizi]

I am hoping that you can keep yourself busy and that you have the energy to do the things that you want to do.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OhKay]

I put "Say Yes to the Dress" on yesterday morning and was crying within 2 minutes. I switched to "The Golden Girls," and it was a much better fit. It's familiar and comforting to me. I am no longer watching the news.

I showered and ran my errands. I was actually out of the house by noon! I got several things done in an elaborate plan not to have to leave the apartment today, tomorrow, or Sunday, but I realized this morning that the coffee supply will run out at some point before then, so my plan will fall through. I never got around to doing anything around here yesterday because I slept again instead.

I didn't have to deal with any traffic in the laundry room, and I fulfilled my promise to myself of getting two loads of laundry in. It would be nice if I could fold it promptly and get off my *** and do something, anything, else today before I go back to bed.

I thought my paranoia was better, but as I started writing to explain in all the ways it was, I realized it really isn't. I guess that's why writing all this **** down can be so helpful…

[bizi]

glad that you got your laundry done...
sorry about your paranoia....
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OhKay]

I know that it's often in my best interests to post when I'm not feeling well, but right now it's best for me to read and post less until after I see my pdoc and start to see some real progress.

I will check in every couple of days so you know I'm doing okay.

Don't worry, I'm safe.

[mymorgy]

good. just as long as we know you are okay
love
bobby

[bizi]

Thank you for checking in kay.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Mari]

Do what works to take care of yourself.

'Sending lots of good vibes.


M

[Dmom3005]

We will still be around when you are ready to come back.

Take care till then.

Donna

[OhKay]

I saw my pdoc today…

I'm obviously very depressed, but the agitation and paranoia I'm experiencing are consistent with mania, so she thinks I'm having a mixed episode. Maybe it's a continuation of the last one I had… ? The only symptoms that improved after that med adjustment were related to my anxiety disorders, and it ended up leading to worsening depression.

She doesn't want to risk adding a SSRI, or another atypical antipsychotic at this point. I'm maxed out at 800mg of Seroquel now, and gabapentin is my second strongest mood stabilizer, but I'm on a low dose (400mg) and I only take it at night.

The plan is to increase the gabapentin to 900mg and spread it out over 3 doses since gabapentin doesn't work for long periods of time. The goal is to stabilize my mood, which will help with the paranoia. I see her the 12th. I will call her, and see her sooner if necessary.


Gabapentin has worked as a mood stabilizer for me in the past. It helped end an endless period of alternating mania and hypomania. I just don't know what to expect from this med in this situation…
Except sedation, at least initially, and Lord knows I'm sleeping enough as it is now. I'm not thrilled about that.

I guess I'll just give it a go though.