[Dmom3005]

Kay

Glad you saw your pdoc. And now have a plan. Good luck.

I used to take gabapentin for pain. And took it twice a day because
if I tried three times I always for got it.

I think I took 600mg. Its been a while so I'm not positive.

Donna

[OhKay]

I used to take 600/600/1200mg a day for neuro pain from the MS. I'd forget the daytime dose a lot, too. It stopped helping, so I ended up tapering off of it last year (?).

[bizi]

Well at least you guys came up with a plan.
sorry about the paranoia, that is not any fun.
Thank you for posting to us.
we love you
bizi

[Mari]

Kay,

It is weird that she does not recognize agitated depression.

=-=
Paranoia as far as I know can show up in depression and mania.


I am sorry because this must be frustrating.

I hope the gabapentin helps.

M

[OhKay]

I don't have enough manic symptoms to fit the diagnosis of agitated depression right now, but because of my history, I'd normally use exactly that type of criteria before I would suspect I was having a mixed episode. Apparently there's a broad spectrum, though.

I didn't pick up on my last episode (or more likely earlier on in one long episode) until I finally started treating some significant anxiety symptoms towards the end of July. By that time it had been going on for weeks. In retrospect, it fit the pattern of a more typical mixed episode, but I was just less manic than what I'm used to.
Currently: I never would have considered the agitation to be a feature of mania, or a clue that I was having a mixed episode, despite the presence of paranoia. I mistook it for a symptom of depression.

I'm lacking my usual insight here. I'm at a disadvantage because I've been in the trenches dealing with hypo/mania for so long that depression is foreign to me now. Actually being depressed and paranoid doesn't help either.

At least this time I'm aware that I'm paranoid. It's upsetting, but at least this way, I can create separation, or keep quiet, so I don't do any damage because I know things may not be as they seem.

I'll give the gabapentin about a week to work, unless I have any issues.


I'm getting really upset because my BP has been so difficult to control in the past, I'm already on so much med, and now I'm a different kind of mess. I'm so afraid that if this episode doesn't respond to the increase in gabapentin, it may lead to a big-time med shake up, adding another heavy-duty med or having to take an antidepressant… because any one of those things could land me back in the hospital.

I'm also worrying about the evolution of my BP in general.

[bizi]

Please slow down your thinking if you can.
Try to take it day to day.
Be as gentle with yourself, ask hubby for help. Thank you for posting....I hope it helps somewhat.
Only you know what is really going on. Have you ever taken welbutrin? Even though I am bipolar 1 I took it in the past at half a dose and it did not make me manic. I don't think it is an SSRI.
But I do have to say that the trazadone that I took did make me manic.
or maybe it was the combination, decrease in geodon lowering thresh hold.
Probably both.
I feel for you my dear.
(((((HUGS))))
love bizi

[Mari]

Dear Kay,

You might be worrying too much --- it might be part of your mood right now.

1. Focus on your daily activities (try to live in the now).
(I remember that you studied with Thích Nhất Hạnh)

2. You are aware of the paranoid thinking -- that is good.

3. And you are ramping up the gabapentin.

You have some things going for you.


M

[OhKay]

I won't ask my husband for help. He knows I'm "depressed" and sleeping a lot, but that's it. Even if he knew I was really struggling, he would make no effort to alter his behavior.

I've taken Wellbutrin in the past and it's made me manic.

I've tolerated Zoloft the best- in low doses, for short periods of time. But the last time I took it (for OCD), it caused hypomania relatively quickly, and contributed to an episode of agitated mania that required hospitalization.

Even though I'm depressed right now, I'm so brittle and prone to mania, putting me on any antidepressant is a big risk that my pdoc is very reluctant to take. Med induced mania can come on quicker and be more severe than my typical manic episodes that are usually preceded by hypomania.

And if she decides she want to try another atypical antipsychotic, there are problems there, too…

[Mari]

Originally Posted by OhKay

Med induced mania can come on quicker and be more severe than my typical manic episodes that are usually preceded by hypomania.

Yes, I remember that is how anti-depressants work with bipolar folks.
It can be hard to quickly undo the consequences.

M

[bizi]

sorry about the welbutrin.
sorry that you are feeling depressed.
I wish you felt better.
bizi