I turned to fear again.

Sorry to hear that.


Are your pdoc and other docs o.k. with your taking a little extra of a
benzo or something else during this time?


M

i don't know. this morning is was like waking up and facing death. Alice really comforted me when she went with me and waited with me. It would be too selfish if i asked her to do it again

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with something so scary. Do you think your pdoc will talk to you over the phone if you aren't up to going out? I know he is very soothing when you talk to him, and maybe he can call in something stronger for your anxiety to help you through this

Is Alice aware that you don't have a ride home? She may offer if she knows you don't…
Asking for, or accepting, help from good friends may seem selfish, but sometimes they want to be there for you to help you through hardship.

Some states have transportation programs for hospital appointments, etc. I don't know if they do in your area, or your situation is appropriate, but if you have a social worker, asking may be worthwhile. She may have other ideas, too.

Also, does Robert drive? Or could you offer to pay Maria if she drives?

the dr couldn't wait to get me out of his office this time. He as very high cholesterol. I don;t know which day and at what time i will be released. also i am going through a very difficult time with maria. there is a lot of underlying tension and she is taking a lot of time off during work.. robert is always busy and needs to set a firm appointment. I also want somebody I know. I was so shakenup and could hardly walk. I will call up the hospital and find out what happens if you are not sure you can be picked up. there is a social worker on the unit and when i am there and we will talk about discharge there. I think I will stick to my plan and alice selfishly pick me up

I wish you did not think selfishly....
IT IS A NECESSITY!
bizi

Bobby, you are acting rationally and in regard to your welfare. This is not about about
being self-interested. . . . more about self-preservation.


Some times, I get "feelings" about things that come to me. I believe that
your procedure in a few days will proceed well and produce a good outcome.

Trust that you have gotten yourself this far and that you can get yourself
through the next few days.
The rest is up to the hospital, the staff, their policies, their long history of
improving patient's lives, and their huge role in healing the community.

M

It's really important for me to have all my plans laid out in advance for things, too. Otherwise I get fixated, and my anxiety gets really high.
Since this is such a significant event, I can see how getting your all your plans in place would really ease some of your anxiety right now

I hope you will ask Alice, and then forgive yourself

When you are feeling better after the surgery, you can send her a heartfelt note along with some flowers to express your appreciation.

so alice is going to pick you up? and cecilia will take you, is that right?
bizi