I feel at breaking point tonight. I've had very serious depression since I was 18 and worked really hard to manage it. It has affected my life in multiple ways too many to count. But I had still created a life that was relatively good. Then nearly 3 years ago I developed a whole range of strange symptoms, some that were clearly neurological according to the doctors and the rest of it was severe neuropathic pain over most of my body. For me developing an illness that has demolished most of my life and left me housebound, in pain close to agony at times and seriously disabled was the log that broke the camels back. I repeatedly reach a point where it's all too much. I have never felt the same physically, emotionally, etc since I became physically ill. No one seems to have any answers for my situation and I am getting progressively worse. I don't know what to do. I don't have answers and don't feel I can take much more.

I have been wondering how you've been doing and I'm really sorry that you're in so much pain and are so down tonight.

If at all possible please call someone to come over to be with you so that you're not alone, although I know from the other thread where you told us of your situation that you're in a rural area, so having someone come over may not be possible.

If you urgently need to talk to someone because of how badly you're feeling, please call
Lifeline New Zealand
as they have 24 hr counselling - For outside Auckland, phone 0800 543 354

If you want to talk here online, please do that too although I know you have a lot of trouble typing. Just hold on there indigo. I know you've investigated so many options to help you with your pain but there must be something that can be done. There must be.

I hope you feel more settled soon and can get some sleep.

Hi indigo

I sent you a PM.

Sometimes the answers to mental & physical problems seem impossible to find. You worked really hard to manage your life since you developed depression at 18 and that shows you have an enormous inner strength. Right now your confidence in your ability to continue is exhausted. It's really hard to think straight and stay strong when everything seems impossible.

Just for tonight try to focus on the things that helped you manage in the past - use those thoughts to induce calm and to reassure yourself that dealing with obstacles is something you do know how to do. If you can quieten your mind enough to get some rest it will help to give you clarity and assurance to face tomorrow.

As Lara said if you really need to talk with someone or want someone to be with you please make the calls.

Stay in touch. bluesfan

Did you finally get some sleep last night ? I sure hope so.

My SFN started about 3 years ago and it makes everything so much harder to do and deal with. I can only take one day at a time.

You are such a sweet lady and I hate that you are going through this.

Debi

Hi indigo,

You remember I suffer Neurological Hypersensitivity overlaying all my other issues? So I am truly capable of understanding what you are feeling.

It is difficult being physically and emotionally isolated when we are geographically isolated, too. But that is a price we pay for peace and quiet and Nature's beauty.

It is these difficult times when we must draw on all our reserves, use all the relaxation techniques we have mastered over the years and come here for the daily support we are denied in the Real World. Always reserve the option to phone Crisis Lines, as suggested.

Dave.

Same boat here I've gotten some relief from a 25 mcg fentynol patch, enough to make it tolerable anyway


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