Hi,

I have congenital esotrophic strabismus, five surgeries, from 6 months to 23 years. I have been told I may not have any more surgeries due to the condition of my eye muscles. I am now 28. I am a female. I had some vision therapy work as a child, but recently started doing Brock string exercises as well as holding up a pointed finger and moving it from side to side. This isn't really EMDR the way a therapist would do it, but it seems to me that it is kind of like EMDR. Unfortunately, I usually fuse my vision only relatively close by, like several feet away. My eye dominance switches, sometimes during sleep. When I track things (informal eye exercises I just started doing) into the peripheral part of my vision, I see the following:

1. Usually single frames, very quickly one right after the other. I do not see a moving picture like normal.

2. Rarely the image (my moving finger, held straight up) disappears for a short time and reappears. This only happens when I try to look in the far left side of my vision.

3. On one occasion, my entire vision of one of my eyes blacked out for a very short amount of time. This happened repeatedly during one part of the exercise. It only happened when my eyes were pointed way in the direction of the eye which blacked out. It was the far right side of my eye and far right side of my vision.

4. When I do exercises on my peripheral vision, I often feel emotional pain which seems connected to past trauma and hurts. I have been a victim of past sexual abuse and never received therapy.

My questions:

1. Should I be worried about the time my eyes blacked out? It hasn't happened for a while now.

2. Is it normal with strabismus to see a series of single frames instead of a moving picture. Or is this more like the sort of shaking effect that eye movement desensitization and reprocessing is meant to treat? In other words, is it possible that I single frames in my peripheral vision because of strabismus related stuff or must it be psychological reasons instead?

3. Does my finger disappear naturally when my eyes turn to my left side due to my natural blind spot, or is this related to some sort of pathology?
Thank you for considering me and my questions.