You are right. You can't love another, when still in love with your ex. Some love does last a life time, no matter what.
I had not dated in 20 years. Had NO intention.
I am way too physically messed up for someone to care about me. Been that route and men run for the hills and I don't blame them.

I have my faith, and this to me was good enough to get me through life.

Love did happen, and I guess now I know how important it is for everyone, in any condition to have someone they care about.
I wish it had worked out with your ex. There are no easy answers, but do include friends now in your life as much as you can. I did that for years.
The real friends will stick by your side, and you will be able to laugh again even with pain.
It is true about our mental state. If we find a measure of happiness, somewhere, with something....we do better when in critical physical condition. This mind body connection is real. That is why I think NT is so important. It connects hurting people.
Maybe the key is finding something to engage in that you have a passion for. Heck some people craft... you know....
Can you find something that can help ease your mind? ginnie

yeah I had one of those. took 2 years to get over. i was a mess but at least I was healthy then. as far as my job, I dream about it every night. even five years later.

been told by older brother I'm a complete disgrace and go live off the government like your bum cousin. yeah, that was my plan give up a job making 4 times as much as disability and lose my beautiful car, health insurance, vacation, bonus, retirement plan and personal and sick days so I could sit home 24 hours a day doing nothing but being in pain. you caught me.

I would pay good money to wake up normally one time. I used to think life was too short, now it feels like an eternity.

Its sounds selfish to say its nice Im not alone in feeling this way about losing my career, as I dont want others to feel the same, but its nice others can understand...

Thank you.

Got very well what your older brother thinks. I am the black sheep of my family too so to speak. Because I too cannot work and didn't give enough to my daughters husband and her, I am not allowed to see my grandchildren.( trust issues) Yep they didn't believe I was as injured as I am. Now several spinal fusions later, and multiple issues, you would think they would change their minds. Nope I am a bum and just loved to get rid of my career, etc, to sit.
To me there is a lack of compassion when people get hurt, or get some kind of illness even within families. I hear this over and over again on NT. It just makes me sad when our own families turn on us. If families can't get along, just what does that say about the world????????
I hate not working, and I will miss it all the days I have left in my life as I imagine you will too. I will keep you in my thoughts. ginnie

[QUOTE=Andy_Pablo;1094904]Due to my chronic pelvic nerve pain, which is worse when sitting, I had to resign my position as a graphic designer for a sports company. I cant even begin to describe how worthless it feels to no longer be able to do the job I loved so much. Not to mention spiralling further into debt every month just to pay the bills. My bank account looks like a countdown to homelessness...


I am so sorry, Andy. I was relieved when I left my job but it killed my self-esteem not to mention social life. I worked full time at a fortune 500 company and took 4 hr night classes to get my MBA in 2 years. My paycheck 8 years ago was around $4500/mo now it's $1100/mo lol.

Have you considered going free-lance? They make work stations that are treadmills. My uncle has a bad back that was helped by sitting on a ball at work. I don't know much about the pelvic area, but you could set your own hours and factor the cost of health insurance to see if it's doable.

When I got on ssdi the most important things was to keep a schedule. For example: get out of bed and shower, exercise, volunteer, try to keep a social circle things like that. All of my corporate friends dumped me pretty quick. PM me anytime.

Take good care of yourself. This can be an opportunity to find a second calling, maybe there was something else you've always wanted to do in life

I did try to do a bit of freelancing. Struggled badly at a standing workstation. I also tried a new type of keyboard with mouse built in, & while it helped a little, trying to do intricate design elements was impossible & them getting up & down from my laying on sofa, crouching, etc, to get closer to screen, I lasted a few hours & it flared my pain up for three weeks, so that was a no go too... I am hoping that surgery allows me to get into some kind of work. I would accept shifts in McDonalds at the moment...

I have no clue about pelvic nerve pain so please don't be upset at my ignorant statements. I have herniated discs (neck and back) and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome nerve pain in my arms and neck. What I am realizing is that nerve pain is oftne caused by tight muscles and neuromuscular imbalacnes which then impinge on nerves. Have you tried postural assessment PT? Might be worth a try.