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Old 06-09-2016, 07:54 AM #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
Wonder if I could hold on for just a bit longer
as I am withering slowly and it s.u.c.k.s
So much energy is taken out of me in my day
Wonder how much longer it will be this hard
Wonder if we could get lucky enough to hit the numbers
and there be some financial relief
Wonder how it will be as time goes on
it is a small income I am working with
It is so difficult to not wonder how it got like this
How did it all get like this
Wonder if My desires will fade
People are not in my life
It to by choice
There is no true relationship
I can speak of that doesn't require approval from
And this I do not need
I look to Heavenly Father and ask for true sincere love in return
Not a hard thing for me to do
Yet for strangers to judge and pull one down for ones own selfish reasons not what I look for
Wonder if my father is the one who suffered with the mutation and it be the base host of all his problems
I still wonder about him
Just this weekend
Me and my sister were talking about the day
She tells me
Her then grammer school teacher she seen many years later
told her how she heard the shot early in the morning of April 8th
thinking it was her veteran father with his guns
Wonder how many others heard the shot
He was found in the second car
white station wagon
Around the corner from the house
What was he feeling
How sad must he have been
To endure sadness like mine
Makes me wonder
I wonder if Eva knows how good it is that she was able to talk about such a painful memory with her sister

I wonder if she knows that it is good to try relate to her father's feelings before his suicide attempt as long as she's not relating too much

Stay safe. You are loved.



Kay
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Old 06-10-2016, 07:32 AM #52
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Default The group of wonder persons

Quote:
Originally Posted by OhKay View Post
I wonder if Eva knows how good it is that she was able to talk about such a painful memory with her sister

I wonder if she knows that it is good to try relate to her father's feelings before his suicide attempt as long as she's not relating too much

Stay safe. You are loved.



Kay
Thank you Kay for your warm felt words
Comforting they are
Nice to see you around
And a comfort to so many
Know you are recognized
and are a treasure in many ways
Constant
And it is here I get to meet
persons like yourself
I came here hoping to find others who had the same medical problems I had and it turn out to become a live journal
of my experience strength and hope
I have come to meet some very very special friends
No understanding of the wifi world
Just come on here and get my medicine for the day
With empowering words
It has become a place I hope to help by my own experience
If it be just one person I can comfort and can help
are rewards I get in return
And get to wonder about it all
Unconditional bonds

May you be filled with joy
However you can get it
I at times get it here
You are that example
Thank you for caring
Love
Me
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Last edited by eva5667faliure; 06-10-2016 at 07:44 AM. Reason: Fixing
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Old 07-13-2016, 01:43 PM #53
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Default I wonder why

What is the lesson
Why do I have to wonder
What if this time they will succeed
Wonder what will it take if there is anymore to go through to "get it"
Wondering why I am totally **** on the moment things seem okay for my grandchild mother who is still in the hospital and talk fresh to me calling off the hook and picking up every call upset with me because of something her and her sister are going through
Wondering why is this happening again
Rather then concentrate in what just happened a couple of days ago
Wonder how much does she want to throw my way when she doesn't get her way
Wonder why she gives me grief when she can't see she made it the way it is
And only she can change it
Wondering why she can't see that
Why am I used as an enabler
Wonder why is she pushing me to
not wanting to pick up the phone because
I will be sad hearing her with the same excuses
She has been through soooooo much
Put herself through so much
Looking for love in the wrong places
I can never fill her void
Just be there
Wonder if my body is full of toxins
How much more can it take
I need to be here for her daughter
Wondering what it will be like for Eva in September and starting school
Wondering what that's going to be like all over again we go
Do I have it
We shall see
We shall see
Wondering isn't helping
And I cannot stop but to wonder
I can't even hear what on when in such deep thought
How much more Heavenly Father
I won't give up
Is that my test
To see if ill give up
I will not take my last breath into my hands
That is for my Father to decide
Wonder if I could leave a huge hugs
for anyone who needs one
right from the heart
Love
Me
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Old 07-26-2016, 07:58 AM #54
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Default Questions

Wonder if its just to late and things have settled
How much longer before Eva decides I don't want to leave the home she has only known
What will happen then
Wondering why she cannot take it one day
One moment at a time
One situation at a time
What is it that she must go through I fear
So much pain already
Her trial and error
Closer and closer to one another
I want so badly to pick up the phone
Is she wondering what happened for it to be as it is
Does she even get it

My child who lives with me
Who is in fear to explore the outside world
Like the real stuff
Not hanging out stuff
But work
School
Driving school
Her health (doctors who she needs to see)
Just to mention some of my wonders
Wonder if she ever sees the light
Rater then the darkness
It doesn't have to be like that
Darkness
Replaced with the light that still shines within them
Wonder if it can be doable and in your face love
What will happen with my grandchild
Does she not wonder about this
I wonder
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:39 PM #55
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Default What are they wondering

To a wonder-full day with my entire family
If he could be would have had us all
We sat at the table all ready to eat
Wondering how this was going to go down
It was awesome
Wonder why my child did not want to spend the time with her child
Wondered why our dog submitted to everyone there
A full house of my family
My babies
Wonder if they felt as good as I
Wonder how much time our family pet has
I spent the entire day with him in my arms
His heart calm while in my arms
Wonder if we can do it again
They have grown
And wanted to be in my company
Wonder if they know I love them ever so much
And it never stops
When I think about it all
Heavenly Father you know my heart and brain
All the wondering a mother does
Like my granddaughter said to me while taking her nighttime bath
And said to me
"Mimmas job is never done
Right mimma"
Mimma does wonder all the time
Thank you Heavenly Father
And to my dead father
Wonder if your soul can see the love of a mother for her children
Your grandchildren and great grandchild
Can you feel us
We were a family
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Old 09-20-2016, 07:42 AM #56
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I wonder if Eva knows how happy I am for her, for that day?
I wonder if Eva knows I will pray for more happy moments in life like that for her, and her family…
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Old 09-20-2016, 10:34 AM #57
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I wonder why I have to sign in every time I come here even though I click remember me
I wonder what has happened to compassion

I wonder how I hate it when I'm watching the refugees waiting for supplies getting bombed and the next thing that comes in or people in the United States standing in line to get the new iphone that just came out

I wonder if eva knows how happy her last post made me and I need to remember that there is hope in this world

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room
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Old 09-20-2016, 10:35 AM #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhKay View Post
I wonder if Eva knows how happy I am for her, for that day?
I wonder if Eva knows I will pray for more happy moments in life like that for her, and her family…
wishing you all the best
and happiness fill your hearts
thank you for the kind words
wonder if you all know how much empowerment
i get here
love
me
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eva
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Old 09-20-2016, 10:43 AM #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe View Post
I wonder why I have to sign in every time I come here even though I click remember me
I wonder what has happened to compassion

I wonder how I hate it when I'm watching the refugees waiting for supplies getting bombed and the next thing that comes in or people in the United States standing in line to get the new iphone that just came out

I wonder if eva knows how happy her last post made me and I need to remember that there is hope in this world

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room
wonder if YOU know how very important you are to this person
and to say
i love you
clap when we are happy
love
me
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eva
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Old 09-21-2016, 06:20 AM #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe View Post
I wonder why I have to sign in every time I come here even though I click remember me
I wonder what has happened to compassion

I wonder how I hate it when I'm watching the refugees waiting for supplies getting bombed and the next thing that comes in or people in the United States standing in line to get the new iphone that just came out

I wonder if eva knows how happy her last post made me and I need to remember that there is hope in this world

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room

I wonder if you know how wise I think you are to be able to put things into this kind of perspective
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