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Old 12-23-2016, 08:39 AM #411
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I don't know who you are talking about… it sounds like you are talking about someone committing s/s. I know your father did, was he 47 when he did?

Today is the anniversary of my s/s attempt. I was off my meds, manic, psychotic, and my life was in disarray, but I was also desperately hopeless. Why people try to commit suicide is often very complicated, and their loved ones are left in pain wondering why. I'm glad that I'm here today, and I'm so sorry that you were left behind with questions, Eva

I'm sorry about your neck. I had surgery at C5-6 in 2008 and it was a Godsend. I have problems above and below the fusion, but they're fairly mild. I hope your find some relief from the injection

I hope that you can enjoy having your family together
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Old 12-28-2016, 10:03 AM #412
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I don't know who you are talking about… it sounds like you are talking about someone committing s/s. I know your father did, was he 47 when he did?

Today is the anniversary of my s/s attempt. I was off my meds, manic, psychotic, and my life was in disarray, but I was also desperately hopeless. Why people try to commit suicide is often very complicated, and their loved ones are left in pain wondering why. I'm glad that I'm here today, and I'm so sorry that you were left behind with questions, Eva

I'm sorry about your neck. I had surgery at C5-6 in 2008 and it was a Godsend. I have problems above and below the fusion, but they're fairly mild. I hope your find some relief from the injection

I hope that you can enjoy having your family together
yes he was forty seven
i have so many times asked myself
if the stressors are as loud as mine are
and i manage to still hang on is the baffling thing
a note was left
it is the load i think about
i carry my cross
and want to be around and fight the fight
i'm just hoping i can be that example to my family
it will take my family
my village of people to help me when i can't do fo myself anymore
i wake up and say this is not a way to live
and push through it
his birthday this month
he has been gone since 4/8/80
may he be resting
thanks for the well wishes
be well love me
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Old 12-28-2016, 09:52 PM #413
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I hope you are doing well Eva. I've been struggling with my health and my brother's addiction still. Not getting any better. Been so very depressed. Even though I'm not always here on NT, I still always remember who my true friends are and will always care for all of you here at NT. You are part of my family. Hope you and all here at NT have a very happy and healthy 2017!
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Old 12-29-2016, 09:48 AM #414
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I hope you are doing well Eva. I've been struggling with my health and my brother's addiction still. Not getting any better. Been so very depressed. Even though I'm not always here on NT, I still always remember who my true friends are and will always care for all of you here at NT. You are part of my family. Hope you and all here at NT have a very happy and healthy 2017!
i understand
prayers there be a miracle a magic something
that gives us back a little of what it was like before
its a tough thing having to accept the horrible that is out of our control
i understand
a HAPPY NEW YEAR
love
me
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Old 12-31-2016, 09:01 AM #415
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I'm sorry that you deal with so much

Thank you for the well wishes... I hope that you can have a good New Year's and a better 2017 is in the cards for you
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Old 01-04-2017, 12:20 PM #416
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Hi Eva. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling better today. Sending virtual hugs to you.
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Old 01-05-2017, 10:45 AM #417
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needed that
in return
love
me
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Old 01-08-2017, 11:55 AM #418
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Hugs to you my dear friend Eva. Hope you are having a better day today.
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Old 01-16-2017, 07:29 AM #419
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Default the hardest thing i ever had to do

it was something i would dream about when i was a little girl
a family of my own
never to live like my mother and father were to us
but how i would be the best mom i could ever be
taking them to their first day of school
to graduation
well not so fast
i have live in generations with those before me
and those after me
having watched the keys be handed over enough time from Watergate to date
i having lived what i am about to write
a long time democrat now
having failed my children
as i raised them alone for reasons no child should have suffered at the hands of a very sick man who was my father
this is not someone on the pity pot
but fact
sad to find out i couldn't save my sisters from it
a mother who watched and turned her head
i voted for our now president elect
i someone who took on the car company my ex-husband worked for General Motors
and the child support department
my case set persistence in the state of New Jersey
failed systems that affected me and my children on a very difficult financial road
no only an absent parent loosing sight fighting with me threatened my life if he could not have me
stalked me at my job for years
oh the police
domestic violence not taken very seriously in the early 80's

going to hit the submit so my writing does not disappear

lost all of my work
so much i wanted to share
i took too long
and nobody ever took the ti me out to teach me
maybe it wasn't meant to be
being a parent is the hardest job i ever had
no guarantees in the end
help me understand the difference
me
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Last edited by eva5667faliure; 01-16-2017 at 04:52 PM. Reason: to tired to write my thoughts together again
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Old 01-17-2017, 10:57 AM #420
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hi Eva. it sounds to me like you've been a great parent. the fact that you still worry and care about your children shows how much you love them and how awesome a mother you are. your love is unconditional and even if they don't say it, i am sure that realize how lucky they are to have a mother like you. that is what you taught them and that is what they will always remember. You are an amazing mother and friend. Love and Hugs to you.
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