advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-03-2008, 02:25 PM #1
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default Forgiveness..........

To forgive
Is not to forget.
To forgive
Is really to remember
That nobody is perfect
That each of us stumbles
When we want so much to stay upright
That each of us says things
We wish we had never said
That we can all forget that love
Is more important than being right.
To forgive
Is really to remember
That we are so much more
Than our mistakes
That we are often more kind and caring
That accepting another's flaws
Can help us accept our own.
To forgive
Is to remember
That the odds are pretty good that
We might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.
That life sometimes gives us more
Than we can handle gracefully.
To forgive
Is to remember
That we have room in our hearts to
Begin again
And again,
And again. ~~ Author Unknown
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-04-2008), bizi (12-03-2008), Chemar (12-03-2008), Doody (12-03-2008), doxiemama (12-11-2008), eva5667faliure (01-06-2016), FeelinGoofy (12-03-2008), jaded2nite (12-03-2008), Koala77 (12-03-2008), Lara (12-12-2008), lebelvedere (09-29-2010), mistiis (12-03-2008), Nik-key (12-04-2008), PamelaJune (02-06-2016), who moi (12-04-2008), wishnomore (09-27-2010), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)

advertisement
Old 12-04-2008, 12:19 AM #2
who moi's Avatar
who moi who moi is offline
'Thanks' Button Team Community Member T.K.S.
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: with the Brady Bunch, honey bunch,and now the crazy bunch
Posts: 2,751
15 yr Member
who moi who moi is offline
'Thanks' Button Team Community Member T.K.S.
who moi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: with the Brady Bunch, honey bunch,and now the crazy bunch
Posts: 2,751
15 yr Member
Default

Alpho,

there were a few accidents today on my way home ...

in the 6 hours...there were many thoughts that came across my mime...(but he was really quiet for some reason...LOL)

amongst them was one about how we all really don't know how long we each have on this earth...(it got me to think about hip chick as well...about her limited time and yet how we all have limited time)

I am not sure if some of those victims survived the accidents or not. One of the accidents halted the traffic for almost 30 minutes...I drove by the scene and thought to myself, there was no way any of them could've survived that particular one...the car was totally destroyed...

life is unpredictable....we need to forgive whenever possible...

and you are so right, it is NOT to forget, it IS to remember...

and all those inbetweens as you've posted...

I am going to bed now and pray that I have in me to forgive all that I cannot and have not forgiven, and pray that I can be forgiven by all that have not forgiven me...

thank you, as I head to bed...
__________________
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


"you're entering, the



.


zone..."

Last edited by who moi; 12-04-2008 at 12:39 AM.
who moi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-04-2008), Alffe (12-04-2008), doxiemama (12-11-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), FeelinGoofy (12-04-2008), Koala77 (12-04-2008), mistiis (12-04-2008), Nik-key (12-04-2008), soxmom (12-04-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-04-2008, 05:27 AM #3
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default

I'm glad you are home safe and sound! Forgiveness gets easier I think if we only practice it..this coming from a person who can really polish her wounds...I feel a bit like a hypocrite...but I do own it!

And you are a lovely man..proud to have you as my friend.
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-07-2008), doxiemama (12-11-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), FeelinGoofy (12-04-2008), mistiis (12-04-2008), Nik-key (12-04-2008), soxmom (12-04-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-04-2008, 02:42 PM #4
Nik-key's Avatar
Nik-key Nik-key is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 1,733
15 yr Member
Nik-key Nik-key is offline
Senior Member
Nik-key's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 1,733
15 yr Member
Default

((Alffe)) I love this poem
I have this link saved to my computer... it is the same poem set to video with pictures and music http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/forgiveness.php
__________________
********************************************

More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide

.

********************************************



.
Nik-key is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Alffe (12-04-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), FeelinGoofy (12-04-2008), Koala77 (12-07-2008), mistiis (12-05-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-04-2008, 02:43 PM #5
Nik-key's Avatar
Nik-key Nik-key is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 1,733
15 yr Member
Nik-key Nik-key is offline
Senior Member
Nik-key's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 1,733
15 yr Member
Default

Quote:
life is unpredictable....we need to forgive whenever possible...

and you are so right, it is NOT to forget, it IS to remember...

and all those inbetweens as you've posted...

I am going to bed now and pray that I have in me to forgive all that I cannot and have not forgiven, and pray that I can be forgiven by all that have not forgiven me
((Moi)) you are so strong and courageous and I just think you are wonderful
__________________
********************************************

More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide

.

********************************************



.
Nik-key is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-07-2008), doxiemama (12-11-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), FeelinGoofy (12-04-2008), mistiis (12-05-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-04-2008, 03:14 PM #6
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default

Oh I love that Nikki...thank you! You should post it in the Sanctuary. It's fun to sit here listening to Christmas music on the computer...now that Doody showed me how. *grin
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), FeelinGoofy (12-04-2008), mistiis (12-04-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-05-2008, 09:00 AM #7
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default Threads

Examine life's tapestry, Find yourself there. See how the threads of your life Are woven together With those of others. Threads of love and work And tears and laughter Stretch back across the years To ancestors unknown. Friends unmet. Threads newly woven. Tie your cares and hopes To familiar faces And those yet forming Whose threads must still be spun.

Joy and sorrow. Delight and sadness Are entwined in the fabric Of our lives If we could remove A thread of sorrow. Would we not risk unraveling Our joy also? Could we pull out a thread Of pain, without removing The love and compassion That are knotted to it? So.... Let the wheel spin, The shuttle fly: The cloth is whole And we are one. ---Author Unknown--
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-07-2008), DMACK (12-06-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), mistiis (12-05-2008), Nik-key (12-05-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-05-2008, 09:10 AM #8
mistiis's Avatar
mistiis mistiis is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 1,065
15 yr Member
mistiis mistiis is offline
Senior Member
mistiis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 1,065
15 yr Member
Default

VERY BEAUTIFUL.....and so well said....
__________________
LOVE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER........
.


"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"
Thoreau

~ You can give without loving, but you cannot love
without giving. ~
mistiis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-07-2008), Alffe (12-10-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), Nik-key (12-14-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-05-2008, 12:58 PM #9
who moi's Avatar
who moi who moi is offline
'Thanks' Button Team Community Member T.K.S.
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: with the Brady Bunch, honey bunch,and now the crazy bunch
Posts: 2,751
15 yr Member
who moi who moi is offline
'Thanks' Button Team Community Member T.K.S.
who moi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: with the Brady Bunch, honey bunch,and now the crazy bunch
Posts: 2,751
15 yr Member
Default

examine life's tapestry...find yourself there....

My mother and my father's marriages were arranged and they were miserable:

YET, IF that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here today...(although I don't want to be "HERE" sometimes...these days, I am often glad that I am here, the reasons to follow)

11 years ago, I owned a small business. It was one of those times that I was in transition. I didn't wanted to work for anyone, and I didn't wanted to grow up. I put the two and two together and I opened up a video games store.

It was not overly successful and I did OK...I can remember during that time that I knew that I wasn't going to run the store forever, I was searching and looking for myself and wondering about my life and what I would do...

I had a customer that would come in, he was a very nice dude but always was quiet. He worked at a local restaurant that I'd go sometimes and we'd chat whenever he was my server.

one day, he told me he was getting his webTV to get on the internet. He'd like to learn HTML and do something with computers.

He asked me if I could drive him to the Best Buy (we didn't have a Best Buy back then at the town I lived in so it was about an hour away)

I took him and ended up picking up an iMAC for myself.

I got on line that night and voila, I was on the net. The rest was history....

if it weren't for that woven part, I would've never have met so many awesome folks both on line and in person. I would've never had met Moss, the love of my life (although I never had the intention of meeting someone on the internet!!)

and if it weren't for that matter, I am not sure if I'd still be alive today.

9 years ago, I went bowling with my league. It was our 10th game, it was important. I went and I was at my rarest form. I was cracking people up left and right and I was laughing and joking and I was singing and dancing...

like a fool...

many a times that night, folks would come up to me and say to me: "Hey, I had such a great time tonight, thank you"

I'd smiled big right back at them...

I wanted them all to remember me that way....

that was the night that I was going to end it all...

I went home...and I was ready to go...

somehow, I must have left some signals privately to some very close friends:

moss, Lara, and dear Tam.

The three of them living in three different States(Lara, being from Australia, at a total different continent, actually) got on ICQ and discussed that there might have been a possibility that it was that night.

No, I didn't threaten them with anything, but I am sure there were enough signals...

so when I got home, 2 cops were at my door...

they were concerned...someone had called them to "alert" them...

I was very angry, I denied it all...

I didn't know who told them....

long story short...I found out later...but by then, I was nothing but grateful....

that tiny tapestry saved my life...that was before I had found the SOS forum..

few months later, I was at the SOS forum...

the reason why I arrived there?

The chatrooms crashed for over a week...I had nothing better to do so I started reading the forums...

and there it was..."Survivors of Suicide"

out of curiousity, I started to lurk...I learned about Pter, Alpho, mistiis(who had another name back then) reyn, scrabbly,wren, Lara, and later on Addy, doody, ducky and moss, goofy, and curious...

I read and I was very afraid to post....but I did, finally...

the first one to welcome me was Alpho...(the Alpho became our long running joke about Alpo, the dog food due to Alpho's typos. LOLOL)

and til these days, seeing these names here (and one of them besides me every night. LOL) warms my heart.

Then, the host of that SOS forum crashed, moved twice, got heavily moderated, some were banned, moved on, moved out...

then, Doc opened this one for us and then all these awesome new folks came about...

if any of those times would've gone "ka-put" it would've been ka-put

if between the last SOS forum and this SOS forum, Doc John had decided that he wasn't going to give us a home, I wouldn't be here...

I wouldn't have been to the GTG in Ga a couple of days ago.

Nobody would've come to our weeding...

Tapestries woven....

each thread came just at the right time...even when the moments seemed bleak and desparate...

some how, the threads came through and was woven tight...

to finally, a warm blanket envelops over all of us...keeping our hearts warm beneath the gentle hands that weaved it...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe View Post
Examine life's tapestry, Find yourself there. See how the threads of your life Are woven together With those of others. Threads of love and work And tears and laughter Stretch back across the years To ancestors unknown. Friends unmet. Threads newly woven. Tie your cares and hopes To familiar faces And those yet forming Whose threads must still be spun.

Joy and sorrow. Delight and sadness Are entwined in the fabric Of our lives If we could remove A thread of sorrow. Would we not risk unraveling Our joy also? Could we pull out a thread Of pain, without removing The love and compassion That are knotted to it? So.... Let the wheel spin, The shuttle fly: The cloth is whole And we are one. ---Author Unknown--
__________________
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


"you're entering, the



.


zone..."
who moi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-07-2008), Alffe (12-10-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), Koala77 (12-05-2008), mistiis (12-05-2008), Nik-key (12-05-2008), wishnomore (09-27-2010), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Old 12-05-2008, 01:08 PM #10
mistiis's Avatar
mistiis mistiis is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 1,065
15 yr Member
mistiis mistiis is offline
Senior Member
mistiis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 1,065
15 yr Member
Red face 'could be triggering...tread carefully'

...I'm not sure why I am putting this here. Maybe, thinking fewer people will read it. And, yet, I feel the need to write it. Whether or not I post it remains to be seen. Perhaps, too, because healing from it taught me a great deal about forgiveness, and how beauty can be born from tragedy, and terror. Although, for me, it has taken many many years, and is till on going. I hope and pray that this will not affect too many badly.

The boogey man in the closet that I posted about in another thread on 'the elephant' .....is quite real, and I know it is for others as well. That's why I hesitate to write about it. It is fear about what power he may still have over others, and how this post could touch on it. So, this post will be in the hands of the mods., and I will fully understand if it gets deleted.

Childhood trauma ~sigh

When I was five years old I was gang-raped by a group of rogue teenage boys in the neighborhood where we lived (very poor, and a bad section of the city) I had a disassociative reaction to it. I remember very well walking down the sidewalk and looking over at them. Then all I remember is sheer terror, and everything goes black....no memory of the actual event. My memory picks up at the hospital where I was treated. I have a very vague memory of the ambulance. I still have some fear of doctors, and don't like to be touched by them. But, all things considered, I think I do well. And I am getting better.

I remember my mother taking me to a child pdoc...I remember waiting to see her, but I don't remember much about talking to her. We never went back. I am one of six children, and my mother had her hands more than full. I don't think it matters, at this point, to delve into my family dynamics. It was just very hard for all around. And, now, in the later years of my life, I know that my parents did the best that they could, or knew how to do.

Life goes on...and mine did. I never understood why I didn't 'fit' in, or why I was always so afraid. I didn't understand the constant nightmares. There was so very much that I just didn't, nor could have been expected to understand. You just keep living, day in and day out. I was such a sensitive person. It was very hard to be around people. School was a nightmare. Children can be cruel. Teachers can be even worse. Fitting in just wasn't going to happen. And it wasn't because I didn't want it to. It just wasn't happening. There was no one to talk to. I was shy, quiet, and withdrawn. As I look back, I feel I must have been depressed early on. It would make total sense.

My mother was a very brittle diabetic, my father an alcoholic. I almost hate to paint this kind of picture, because I love my family very much. And we have grown up a lot together. Maybe this will give somebody else hope that healing can, and does happen.

Trying to explain why I felt I had no one to talk to, or to turn to. Everyone around me was trying so hard to survive. Being the oldest girl, I had a lot of responsibility placed on me. Unfortunately, I could never quite live up. I was never good enough. I could never clean well enough, etc etc etc. Everytime my mother would be hurt by my dad, I would try my best to reach out and comfort her only to be rejected time and again.

Its no wonder that by the time I was 12, (and this is just a glimpse) I didn't feel that life was worth living, and felt that I had no one to turn to. This is not where I had intended this to go. Except that forgiveness has allowed me to grow, to become closer to my family, despite all of it. They grew and changed as well. And there are beautiful moments with the bad.

Back to the beginning...it was only within the past year that, with the help of a good and wise friend at Church, I experienced what real forgiveness is, and what it can do. I feel like I have been on a slow healing journey from this 'rape' for all of my life. Small snatches of experiences throughout the years have allowed me to pick it up, examine it, see how it has affected me and my life, and learn how to deal with it. It has been such a slow process. And, at first, I became very angry with this group of guys for ruining me, and my life. But, of course, they did not, nor could they, ruin all of it. My mother finally revealed to me, at some point, that she had tried to bring them to justice. But one of them was the son of the chief of police, and they got off scott free. She also told me that we had had to move because of it. I didn't remember that. But, then, she would not have told me.

I was reading some scriptures with this friend when I realized that those guys really didn't get away with anything at all. I realized that they could even be suffering from that memory right now, wherever they may be. And, I thought about what the scriptures say, and all of a sudden I was filled with compassion for them. I didn't want them to suffer, or to be suffering now, or down the road, or after this life is over, because I couldn't forgive. It just made sense to me. I didn't want them to suffer. It was really that simple. And then, healing from this really began. And I began to see more and more how to deal with how it has affected my life. There will always be a wound, or scar, but it won't infect me anymore. I hope that makes sense.

Ok...we will see if it will submit........I feel brave.....think I will lurk for awhile too......
__________________
LOVE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER........
.


"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"
Thoreau

~ You can give without loving, but you cannot love
without giving. ~
mistiis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (12-07-2008), Alffe (12-10-2008), bizi (12-06-2008), DMACK (12-06-2008), eva5667faliure (01-08-2016), Idealist (12-15-2008), Koala77 (12-05-2008), Nik-key (12-05-2008), who moi (12-05-2008), wishnomore (09-27-2010), ~scrabble (12-06-2008)
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Forgiveness Amish Style... Alffe Survivors of Suicide 2 10-14-2007 08:44 AM
Good Friday means FORGIVENESS Chemar Sanctuary for Spiritual Support 0 04-06-2007 11:25 AM
forgiveness -with luv tena lou_lou Sanctuary for Spiritual Support 1 03-19-2007 07:50 AM
Forgiveness, the healing power bizi Bipolar Disorder 9 11-27-2006 09:23 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:04 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.