Hi everybody,

Thank you for taking the time to read this. These last two weeks have been terrifying. I have received another setback while recently getting off the subway. As I got up from my seat, I banged my head on the pole above me. Instantly, thoughts of sadness, depression, and overall despair crept in and has taken over my life.

This is my third post on this site and the third concussion in the last 2 years that has impacted me. I had a boxing incident at university where I suffered my first concussion and then I was rear ended a year later when driving. I feel like my memory has taken a huge toll and when I talk I often can't find the words to complete my sentences. I really can't remember what I did even 2-3 days ago which makes scared beyond all belief. This combination, along with the feelings of awfulness, has made it very difficult to get up out of my bed every morning. If it weren't for work, I would spend everyday in bed. Sorry for being negative but overall I feel like death.

I am 24 years old now and turning 25 later this year. I can't live with the idea that I am having memory deficits at this age. I feel like this is all my fault and that I have wasted this beautiful opportunity at life that I was given.

Thanks for listening. I wish everybody here all the best.

I am sorry that you are going through this.


I do not have expertise in this area but I believe that you have some treatment options available. Do you have access to medical care?

Can you go to the ER?

M

Post-concussion syndrome Treatments and drugs - Mayo Clinic

Amitriptyline
Topiramate
Gabapentin


I have been on on all three of those drugs.
The side affects of the Amitriptyline and Gabapentin are low the drugs might offer you benefits.

Welcome - neurosymptoms.org
This article is helpful
Treatment and Management of Prolonged Symptoms and Post-Concussion Syndrome - Sports-Related Concussions in Youth - NCBI Bookshelf


M

Thank you for the kind words Mari. This struggle is the hardest thing I'll go through. I really, really want to give up and quit work and feel sorry for myself but I know that will make things worse.

I went to my primary care doctor and told him what happened. When I told him I wouldn't care if I woke up dead tomorrow (even thought I made no mention of suicide nor do I have any intention of doing so), that was too much for him and he sent me to the psyc ward in an ambulance. Fortunately I was released the same day but I am still slightly jaded from that experience. Other than headache I have no physical symptoms so I don't know what a trip to the ER would do other than tell me what I already know.

I agree, anti-depressant meds will be the next move. I called up psychiatrists in the area to set up an appointment but no one responded. Even that act was exhausting and it will be tough to make another round of phone calls to schedule an appointment. This is unbelievably stressful... I feel like a helpless idiot. Sorry for coming on too strong and sounding immature.

Thanks

Our sticky threads help /tips @ top of each forum topic main page

Vitamin and Supplements Regimen

Things you wish you'd known when you first got post-concussion syndrome.

http://www.neurotalk.org/traumatic-b...ful-links.html

islestfw,

I understand your despair. It can be very frustrating. That horrible feeling in the morning often means you are not getting quality sleep. Sleep can be a big challenge after a concussion. The anxiety of such a change in your life is also a struggle. But, many of us have found ways to go on and live a full life despite any prolonged symptoms.

As much as the subway incident trigger some troubling symptoms, I doubt it was a concussion. The startle or aggravation effect of such a bump can cause enough mental stress to cause symptoms to return. It helps to not get focused on every bump and jostle. They cannot be avoided and are a part of life.

Have you tried any nutritional regimens ? The Vitamins sticky link has a good regimen. The struggling brain needs substantially more nutrition, especially B vitamins.

It helps to keep busy in low stress ways. The memory and word finding struggles are common and made worse by stress and anxiety. In time, these should improve.

What kind of work do you do ? How long is your commute ? By subway ?

These things can be adding to your stress levels.


My best to you.

Thanks for the kind words. Today I have been feeling especially down. I needed this today.

I have been engaging the argument with myself whether or not this was actually a "concussion" or merely a "sub concusssive impact." It was hard enough that someone asked me if I was ok after he saw it transpire. I know the end result is futile yet I can't stop this line of thinking. I have had mini bumps to the head in the two years since my initial concussion but the anxiety subsided within the next day or two. This one consumes my day-to-day thought process. When I am talking with friends and can't complete sentences or forgot what they said earlier in the conversation I can't help but worry. This scares me to the core.

I have not noticed a problem with my sleep. I don't remember my dreams when I wake up but I don't think that is relevant to sleep quality. I am able to get a full 10 hours each night but I will look to continue for ways to improve my sleep quality.

I work in business. I have completing some parts of my licensing exam but I have struggled to continue studying since this recent event. I worry that I can't remember the study material anyway so studying is ultimately a waste of my time. My commute is about 40 minutes by subway and fortunately I am physically able to tolerate this commute.

You may not be tolerating the commute mentally. Subways and trains have a lot of stimulation. Add that to anxiety and you get the perfect storm.

Even if the bump was a 'sub-concussive' bump, that is almost meaningless. Sub-concussive impacts are cumulative. But, one needs to accumulated hundreds of them to cause injury.

The surface pain of the bump can trigger a strong response. The startle of the pain plus the history of anxiety about head impacts can be a substantial trigger.

Regarding sleep. Quantity of sleep has no direct bearing on quality of sleep. In fact, many who sleep longer hours do so because they are not getting quality sleep. Quality sleep means you are experiencing all of the stages of sleep. Struggles with memory are often related to lack of REM sleep. If one is getting quality sleep, one would usually wake up refreshed with no desire to snooze.

Regarding studying for your license exams, It is best to space out your study. Review the information over time. Memorizing happens during REM sleep as short term memory is converted to long term memory. So, rather that repeat the same material over and over during the same study session, review it once each session then repeat that session on a subsequent day.

If you double up, try a study session during each subway ride. But, wear ear plugs or headphones so your brain is not distracted with ambient subway sounds. Study without an ability to stay focused is of minimal value. There has been extensive research that shows that cram studying for an exam is not as effective as spreading out the study.

When you are talking with friends, try to limit the number of voices speaking at the same time. It will only mess up your ability to function in both speaking and remembering. Your brain cannot multi-task. Even a healthy brain struggles to multitask.

Try to spread out the different exams so you are not doubling up on your studies.

The toughest part of PCS is learning the new ways we need to learn. The old ways of learning often do not work well at all.

So, take you time. Destress your life and give yourself time to learn and you will be fine.

Mark,

Thank you for these kind words. You have no idea how helpful it was at the time and how much I needed someone to response. This site and the support you and everyone else provided was invaluable.

I'm still not ready to study and I'm still having issues at work when given an assignment, especially when the instructions are given verbally. With that said, I'm able to tolerate it and though I'm not there yet. Now, I have a tough time keeping up in conversation and I feel like I'm a step behind whenever I'm talking with someone. Such is life.

I wish everyone the very best.

Many of us struggle to converse if the other person is a fast talker or there is more than one person talking or if there is background noise. Complexity or length of sentences can also make things harder.

You can experiment with your surroundings to see if such changes help. There is a lot of trial and error to learning how to move forward.