In my anger at Michael I felt he made a "choice". He was a healthy (physically) 31 year old man with an 8 yr. old son who lived far away with his mother. He worked full time as a juvenile probation officer, paid child support, and went to school nights to complete his college education. He fell in love with a younger woman and they moved in together, planning to marry. She also worked, didn't care for her job and wanted them to move east where her parents lived. She moved, hoping he would follow with the very $$ engagement ring she had shown him. He didn't. Instead he drank 1/2 a bottle of brandy and put that gun in his mouth. I now feel that it was an impulsive act due to his depression over missing his son and his fiancée ...it was all to hard for him and he took the wrong way out. So...choice imho became impulse and despair. End result is we "live" with it. And are all affected...especially that son of his who is a grown man with children of his own...all of which Michael has missed out on.