Oh wow Mandi, you nearly made me cry. Beautiful writing… Yes, I do understand. I completely understand the pain, and being strong willed. There have been many, many times that the pain was so incredibly bad that I didn’t think I could will myself another step. Or wondered if I could quit tremoring long enough to take that next step. And to have a significant other that isn’t being supportive is very tough too. I’m truly sorry. Yeah, I don’t think “buck up” would have flown over well with me either. Buck up hu? They don’t even know what they’re saying Mandi. I have sleighed many dragons in my day, and this was one that I have not been able to conquer, but rather I am trying so hard to learn to live with and make peace with.

I am learning that the body will win every single time. You have to listen to your body as much as you can and rest when you need it. To this day my mind will be saying let’s do these 100 things and my body will eventually win by screaming at me with pain, and I have to settle with the 90% of the things not accomplished. For me it has become an exercise in patience.

Hang in there Mandi! You’ve found a good group of folks here that know exactly where you’re at. You are not alone hon. If nothing else, perhaps you will find comfort in that.