Addy touched a nerve when she asked about Michaels "health".

One of the problems with losing a loved one to suicide is that a lot of it is guess work. Our son was a big, strong, physically healthy 31 yr. old with a good job, a big booming laugh.

Did he have problems?.....sure, money was always a problem and his fiancee had gone to Florida with her parents and was pressuring him for a ring. He also had a bad cold, half a bottle of brandy to drink, and the Bears lost.

Did he have a future? We all thought so...did he have plans, yes. did he leave a note? No.

Was he mentally ill? Not in our opinion...our being me, his dad, sisters and brothers in laws who he'd planned to go camping with the coming weekend.

So why did he pick up that gun and blow his head off? I'll never know for sure but in my heart I have concluded that it was an impulsive act. I had a lot of help coming to this conclusion...especially from my old friend PTer from OBT.

Why am I reacting so strongly to Addys' implication that Michael was "ill"....
because it's judgemental! The implication being that people who would complete suicide must be mentally ill....horribly depressed...etc.

I believe that he despaired at that moment and said "F*** It"

I started a thread years ago on OBT....The Ultimate F*** You was it's title and it offended more than a few people. But I wanted to make the point that a loved one killing themselves truly feels like the ultimate rejection.

So Addy, I guess I can't answer your question.