Over the past few weeks it seems one thing after another is going on. Yesterday I left a message with UCSF's MS dept after calling their Neuro dept to check on cancellations. They called me back, but I missed the call and they didn't leave a message (so I assume they'll try back).

I'm having a really hard time concentrating at work, but thankfully my bosses know what's going on and they're really great, but they don't know how bad my concentration really is. I'm super tired all the time, especially ever since that stupid propranolol I tried, I just can't shake the fatigue. My hand is shaking, I'm running into things like door jams as it seems my aim is off. My speech has slowed down again, I can't seem to do anything at home except sit on the couch or try to sleep. If I get any energy I feel like i need to get something done while the energy is there. And no, it's not really hot here right now. I know there is yet another med that can help me with fatigue, and other I need to try for the tremors (it's okay, you don't have to name them, I have that info).

My PCP won't/can't do anything for me because it's just not his field. I get it, that's fine. I want to cry all the time but can't, I want to be happy but can't, I think it's one of my meds is being a bit too antidepressive. I can't think about anything except what's right in front of me.

I have been doing things that are good for me, eating good food, not stressing, but don't have enough energy to do things that I'd like to do physically.

I really feel like I need treatment. I want to go into a bubble, get what I need, sleep a week straight. When I had the hives a few weeks ago I got Prednisone and that not only helped the hives, I felt a lot better overall, my PN felt better too.

How do you hold on during times like this?

I can't wait another month and a half to just see the neuro. I can't take time off work because I'm the only income in our house as well as being an important part of a very small staff at the office. I don't even want to just call in sick because I feel like I'd do that every other day. Even last night DH rubbed my legs because they were bad and all it did was hurt.