Thank you so much for your reply. It really (like really) helps. I don't especially like knowing that my family is such a "piece of work," but it's true, and having that validated does help.

My ex contends that he was praying for me the whole time, but he never once spoke to me, never acknowledged even the apology I sent to HIM (and he was very much a part of the chaos that led up to that moment). Instead, he involved my two older children in his custody suit. He is the one who hired the attorney, and they all got my son (then, a minor) to write a horrifying affidavit about me to be read aloud in court. So much for his words that he was so distraught, and only praying for me.

But more to my point is my son. I know that anger is a common reaction to suicide or attempts. I don't understand why this would still be the case with this young man. Just before this happened, we had enjoyed a very warm and close mother-son relationship.

The only thing I can think of is that he might be ashamed of what he himself did to me, showing such hatred and anger, sending very ugly emails to me, and then of course the affidavits. Does that make sense? That he might be ashamed of what he did and is therefore afraid of trying to reconnect with me?

Your words are so true: I was absolutely abandoned by my family. I cannot believe I survived it when I think back on it now. That alone makes me know that I'm a strong person. Not just being abandoned but attacked at a time like that .... from what I"ve read most people who attempt are very vulnerable to another attempt in the months afterward, and from the beginning, I was attacked (including a lawsuit for custody and having my youngest child kept from me for four months).

But I am mostly over that. I've finally gotten to a place where I don't care to think about the details much anymore. I can't stand it, and it serves no purpose.

But my son .... I don't understand his reaction.

Thanks so much for your reply. It really does mean a lot to me.