Mallum
You are a true suvivor.............because your seeking advice and support to stay alive............

Mark is right you just keep on keeping on..........

My only advice is seek medical help with your thoughts of suicide............it took me nearly twenty years before i was diagnosed bi-polar.......which in itself was some relief because it identified why i was constantly depressed, and experiencing suicidal thoughts..............

It hasn't removed what i feel but it has given me the wisdom to seek help ASAP when required........i leave nothing to chance.

keep talking ...believe me it helps

David