I have removed myself from all medications with the exception of the B12 at this point, trying to see if this might help at all. I'm honestly starting to look at possibly some other things as a cause and maybe that will jog something. About the times my symptoms started I had a hysterectomy removing everything except my ovaries. My ovaries have been growing cysts every since two years ago; monitored every 3 months by my OB. In addition, I've had a mammogram that showed 9 lumps that they are keeping an eye on. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe my body is trying to say something to me.

I know I've been tested for thyroid at some point in the testing manifesto, but I can't help but think that maybe there's some sort of link along with this. I also am an avid bruiser and bleed profusely. What I know of my mother (died at 50) and her mother (died in her 40's) is that they both of them had bleeding/bruising issues as well as my daughter. With her to the point they checked for Von Willebrand's disease and even trounced into the leukemia realm. She was ok, but the tech said that the VW test can produce false negatives dependant on when they are taken. My mother had MS as well, I was checked...no lesions. Her mother died when she was around 16. All I know is that she was in a wheelchair when she died.

I've also been through tons of therapy through my mother and her issues. Literally, I was her support through years of pain, depression and several suicidal bouts... so I got to know therapists really well from the time I was 14 til the time she died 15 years ago. My coping skills are the backbone of my personality and I am proud to stand on those trials and raise my flag high as a survivor.

Reason I am so bothered by the stress equation is that while she was being told continuously that it was all in her head; and she continued therapy she literally had a physical issue that snuck up and killed her. Officially it was heart disease according the to death certificate, but I will tell you I saw her the day before at my baby shower and her neck had swelled as far as her ears. Told her she needed to go to the dr who just happened to say to her again to go see another therapist. She died that night.

I know I have to be patient, and I will do the therapy again as requested if only to prove a point... but I have no plans of leaving this earth any time soon without putting up a fight. I'll be honest, I see my familial history right in my own body right now and I am SCARED. I have never been more embarrassed, scared or demeaned more than I am right now, but I am determined to get this figured out. Somehow, someway....