I have not seen this problem mentioned here. This plagued me for quite awhile.
Because of the awful sharp pain inbetween my shoulder blades....I found it quite difficult to "wipe and clean my rear privates". I would contort...more pain...and get the job done. Many mornings I designed in my head a gadget for the purpose. My spinal nerve injury is along the colon line so pressure would cause intense pain...still does....and me all contorted...what a sight and scream!!
I love and own (she owns me) a Blue&Gold Macaw...she makes all those sounds so I must have been using much enthusiasm for her to learn them.
I got thru it tho I laugh at myself.
Go slow Tessa...it is worth it...I am scarred in beautifully. If I was not working I was in bed...rest tons.

Johanna