Hello Painman2009,
It saddens me greatly to read your words and hear your pain - obviously we all wish for each other that we could do or say something to take it all away.. if only we could.
I hope that there are other things you can do to create memories together with your children. Simple things.. a special time where your youngest brings back all the treasures from the beach he or she has gathered and tells great stories of where they found them and what they are. This can be super special for the both of you.
Can you work on a puzzle with your kids? Not all in one setting of course but even just a few minutes each day or a couple of days a week? Let them go shopping to find .. just the right one.. and then you both do it together.
Movie night - topped off with s'mores made in the microwave

Yummy & fun.. this has been a special treat in my family for many years during the winter months.
I do hope that you get through this rough spot and that you are able to enjoy time with your children and your wife in ways you never thought about before and that they are more rewarding than ever!
Sometimes it's the simple things we've done together that are the most cherished,
Tessa