It's a terrible horrible dreadful thing to happen, and unless people have experienced it they have no clue what it's like. Idiots who say 'you weren't that far along, it's not that bad' have to be ignored for your own sanity. They don't know, so disregard their idiotic and thoughtless views.

I completely understand those thoughts. I blamed myself for my own miscarriage because I wasn't sure whether I was happy about the pregnancy or not (we already had two children, it was an accident and we had already decided we didn't want any more long before it happened). In my head, I didn't want it enough, so it died. Ridiculous, but your head thinks these thoughts, and your heart does indeed break into a million tiny painful shards...

You have as much right to grieve for an unborn child as you have for anyone. You have spent these last few weeks planning, and thinking about it all, hoping and worrying and dreaming....of course you are distraught and terrified and distressed beyond measure. This is something you are going to go through along with everything your body has to cope with when you lose a pregnancy, and you mustn't feel bad for doing so.

I'm so sorry. I was so hoping things went well for you, and I can't imagine how much worse it is to go through this with the added concern of CRPS. I'm sure you have told your doctor about your CRPS and your worry of spread etc, so as long as they are very careful during the procedure and numb everything, there's no particular reason you should have spread. And you are NOT having an abortion. You are having a medically necessary procedure after a traumatic and tragic end to your pregnancy. This was not your choice and is not your fault.

I'll stop lecturing now, but I am thinking of you all the time, and I hope you come home later sad but safe.

Take care of yourself. I'm sending you some big hugs. I am so sad for you, it brings it all back to me, and the hurt is still there, but it fades and you do live again. Stay strong and be well.

Bram.