I am sorry that at your young age you are having to deal with so many issues. I think if it were me, and I was that nervous about the surgery, I would talk to my doctor. You need to feel 100% confident in what they are proposing to do. You need the doctor to not just say words, but to reach you emotionally so you can feel assured. Until you are sure, I don't blame you one bit for being on edge. Anything to do with the brain or spine for that matter is a reason for concern. Not fear, young one, but concern. do you have support at home? A good network of friends with you through this ordeal?
I take it they want to do decompression on your spine? Do you know all the details of what your doctor thinks would help you? I am here to listen. I am older and been through several spinal fusions. I do know first hand how scary these surgeries can be. NT will be here, to support you and so will I. Is there anything I can do to help? My own spinal fusion, the second one, was successful at relieving my pain for the most part. I am here, if you need an ear. ginnie