I promised a special premium joke to make up for careening around cyberspace when I was supposed to be thinking about sex. Rather than go back into that sordid thread and upset the continuim there, I am going to start this space for it.

Here is your very own "Offend any group with a tasteless joke"
It is very simple. Just fill in the name of the group that you wish to offend! Even people like you can do it. To make sure that someone like you doesn't screw it up, we are going to single out a terrorist group that is in league with the Illuminati and secretly is attempting to overthrow the US - the Shriner.

(Note for our British friends, we suggest that you use either Nigel Farage or the EU as is appropriate.) So here we go....

There was this Old Boy down in Texas who was drilling for oil when disaster truck and the drilling rig burst into flames. <Editor- Don't worry about the use of the term "Old Boy" as it is a term of endearment. And as for "Texas", you can't insult them. Their hide is too thick,>

The Old Wildcatter tried everything that he knew to put out the blazing well. Some of the best in the business tried to extinguish the inferno, but all failed. Getting desperate, the Old Texan finally let it be known that a million dollars would be paid to whomever could put out the fire.

The Old Driller was standing by his truck watching a fortune going up in thick black smoke when, off in the distance, he could see a light brown cloud being thrown into the air behind a speeding pickup truck. As the truck drew nearer, he could make out a dozen or so men in it. Then it flashed by the old man just as the driver locked the brakes down and slid to a stop right in the middle of the roaring blaze.

Without hesitation, a crowd of SHRINERS lept from the truck and, using everything they could grab hold of, began beating madly at the flames. So furiously did the SHRINERS attack that within minutes the fire was out.

The old Texan was overcome with gratitude and immediately wrote out a check for a million dollars and took it over to the head SHRINER and began expressing his gratitude in no uncertain terms. A little later the old man asked the SHRINER, "That's a lot of money for a man like you. If you don't mind my asking, what are you going to do with it?"

To which the younger man replied, "Well, the first thing that I am going to do is to get them blamed brakes fixed!"