Hi there

I am so sorry that you are going through this with your husband. I agree with what Judy has said. I think men, by nature want to fix things - and this isn't fixable. Added to that, he can't control this, and the worst thing about MS is that it IS so unpredictable.

Do you know other people with MS? If not, it would probably be good for both of you to go to a support group or something similar. Sure, there would be some people there that are badly affected, but if it is anything like the group that I have been a part of, it can be quite uplifting - and would be good to see those who have been dealing with this for a long time and are still ok. One of my dear friends is well into her 80's and she is still walking (with a stick, admittedly, but so are many of her non-MS peers).

When I was first diagnosed, my picture looked pretty bleak - even according to my Neuro. My husband was really caring, but he didn't want me to tell anyone about my Dx. 'None of their business' he said. He didn't want to read about what my future might hold - or about symptoms and stuff either. That was hard to deal with and it took me a fair while to come out and say 'would you rather your friends think I am a drunk because I stumble around, slur my words and just might pee myself - or know I have this condition?' and I followed this with 'this is my disease to share with whomever I choose'.

Looking back, it was denial, and maybe that is what your husband is feeling. His comfy world is suddenly spinning out of control, and the future he thought was a given is now uncertain.

BUT it might not be like that. I am now twelve years past Dx. I am walking, seeing, speaking, and working better than I have for many years. The stress this is putting you under can't be doing you any good.

You know what else? One day, MS MAY mean you have to use a wheelchair - but any day, you or your husband could have an accident and be left having to use a wheelchair. As lousy as this disease can get (and I am truly fortunate in my process - so I am not discounting how awful it is for others) - there are much worse things that can happen. It just takes a long period of acceptance and adjustment to come to terms with it.

I don't want you or your husband to look at this through rose-coloured glasses - it isn't easy, it is a nasty XXXX of a thing.

I just hope that you both come through this like we did, stronger than ever.

Hugs