Hi Songbird,

I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better, and I hope your new/old job works out well for you and your family

For me my miscarriage was probably the toughest thing emotionally that I had to find a way through. Bereavement is one thing, but the loss of a pregnancy that too many dismiss as 'early' is something I dealt with pretty much alone. My friend was pregnant at the time, so I couldn't talk to her in case I stressed her out, and then by the time she had given birth safely, I had tucked it sadly away. I didn't see her as much as I should have afterwards because the first time I saw her with her baby, that part of my heart broke all over again. I still get times where I realize that the baby would have been a certain age, and what we might have been doing, what it might have looked like, etc.... You can't switch your brain off totally, but the grief becomes wrapped in goose-feathers after a while, and you can look at it without falling apart.

I chose not to take anti-depressants and just got through the raw pain, but I'm not judging I promise, everyone is different and no one way is 'best'. Just please don't get too used to the numbness feelings it sounds a bit scary, and I don't like to think of you like that. I'm glad if it's making things easier to deal with though, I wasn't dealing with CRPS back then, and I can't imagine how much tougher it makes things.

Take care of yourself, you'll get out the other side of this and things will be easier again. Promise.

Bram.