Yes, it is hard, but please remember, this MonSter has come along and ***** up your future plans too. While I have a lot of sympathy for the situation your husband finds himself in, I have even more for you.

I hope that both of you can come to terms with this - there are some great ideas on here and it's only by approaching it honestly and gently that you will reach this acceptance and understanding - and it takes a lot of time.