Oh Songbird There is nothing you could have done, and the miscarriage was in no way your fault no matter how you look at it. This was one of those terrible things that just happens. It is not down to you, nor could you have prevented it.

Im so sorry if this sounds kike alecture, because its not meant to be - im just worried for you, and i want you to not be torn apart by this. You have to try to stop torturing yourself about this part, or you'll suffer so much more. I am not religious at all, but I was brought up to be, I know about that kind of praying, and it is soul-destroying with something like a miscarriage because this is not down to you or God - it is biological and physical. No amount of wishing or praying on your part was ever going to change what happened.

Belief in the power of prayer can tear you apart when it still happened, and you then think it is your fault because you didn't want it enough, or haven't been good enough, or promised enough.....none of that matters, honestly.

Your body just couldn't do this thing. You wanted it enough, and of course you are a good wife and mother, and of course you would have been a fabulous mother all over again. You must never ever doubt that.

Please try to concentrate on the family you have, and enjoy being with them as much as you can. Try to get out a little, just for a walk or something, and try not to stay inside thinking too much. I know, I really do, that you can't get away from these thoughts, but as with CRPS pain, you can distract yourself a little and it does help with the raw pain just a bit.

I'm so sorry. Hang in there and keep fighting the despair of this thing. You are strong, and you will come through this.

Bram