Welcome to Neuro Talk. You will find a lot of compassion and support right here. Many of us have issues with addictions of many different kinds. I weaned off morphine after 10 years. I also quit smoking cold turkey. My dad and mother both were heavy drinkers, I never did that, as it scared me.
I would advise you to see a friend, a councilor, some kind of program to where you have support right now for the drinking. Of course I am here to listen. Any addiction is hard to kick. For the sake of your youngsters it is important that you do. I hated growing up with drunk parents, and I was angry for a very long time.
My council told me when you get rid of something bad, fill it with something good. I would try that to start with. Maybe an outing with the kids, some state park, where you connect to something beautiful to share with your young ones. Do something positive to take your mind off of drink, and replace it with something you like even better. If you can afford a therapist, go for it. You have the rest of your life to have a good time. Don't waste it being in a state where you can't enjoy it. Life is short, terrible short, don't waste a minute with something that isn't good for you. I am here to listen any time. Be well, be happy, find an inner peace. ginnie