Daughter got ill in February and had uncontrollable intercranial pressure, and has permanent brain damage, her brain is over %40 permanent damage. The doctors dont know why this happened again, the first time within months she was back to baseline, but this time she's a completely different person she just turned 9, and I bought her infant toys, not her favorite toys but baby toys. Its so hard to let go of the past, her smile, the laughter her running and playing and even back talking me I'ile d give the world jist to have her back.

She can talk and take a few steps but she can't remember. Stuff and is a completely different child. I know this may seem wrong but it feels like a huge part of her. Died. Yes she's still my daughter and I love her but I dont really know her now its hard to read her and she dont tell you how she feels, heck. I dont know if she even knows what feelings. Are. Im lost I need advice on how to move on and wok forward. Its just so hard and I feel like im alone. I need advice. How do you not forget but not sit there crying and all depressed. About how she was before and how shell never be herself again... before she got sick she was just like any other 8yr old girl loveing life carefree